A relative ignoring the kids?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
October 5, 2009 9:16am CST
Do you have a relative or close friend who doesn't seem to be interested in your kids at all?
This has been bugging me a bit lately, and I guess I really caught on on Saturday.
My mother and sister don't seem to be the least bit interested in my kids!!
I don't mean that they are rude to them or act as if they aren't there, but they don't treat them the way I'd expect a grandmother and aunt to treat them.
Whenever my in laws are around my kids, it's all about the kids!! Hubby and I will be ignored if the kids start talking. They get hugs and kisses and the in laws always want to hear about their day or their week or their soccer game, etc etc.
I guess I figure that's how it's supposed to be.
But when I brought my daughter to bingo on Saturday with my mom and sister, they didn't take too much notice of her. They didn't try to talk to her, they didn't ask her what's going on in her life. My daughter was a little attention starved and so started acting rather goofy and they still didn't take notice!
That's pretty much just how my mother is. She's not good at bonding with kids. I'm not sure she ever really bonded with me as a child either. But still I find it unnerving that she can't bond with her own grandchildren!
Do you have a relative or close friend who's like this?
2 people like this
9 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
5 Oct 09
My situation is kind of the opposite lol. My parents adore my kids. They ask them about school and other stuff all the time. They love to spend time with the kids and they have to stop and see them about once a week. My in laws are the opposite. They don't seem all that interested in our kids. They are more interested in my husband. As long as they see him (and they whine when they don't) they don't seem to worry about me or the kids. My daughter got her hair cut short for the first time, and it was 2 months before they saw her hair cut. And the only reason they saw her that soon was that she had to go to the emergency room and they happen to live right down from the hospital. They live 10 min away and never see the kids or keep them overnight. They hug them a little when they see them but then that is about it. It tends to be a source of fighting between me and my husband, because I feel like if his mother could have her way she'd have him back and leave us in the dust.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
5 Oct 09
I guess my mom is just as bad, only it's not as obvious. She'll babysit for me if I ask her to, she has no problem with that, but when she's around all of us she'd rather chat with me and hubby than pay attention to the kids. The in laws are the opposite, they'd rather talk to the kids than to us.
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
5 Oct 09
I do, and it is heart wrenching. I have a son with special needs. He loves everyone and wants everyone to pay attention. They just ignore him. It is sad. They treat him so different than the other kids that are around.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
5 Oct 09
I wonder what it is with some people. With both sides of grandparents when i was growing up, we were treated the way your in-laws treat the kids, and if my husband's grandkids were in the area, we'd be spoiling the heck out of them too. When my nieces and nephews and cousin's little one (6 kids in total) are around, it's alllll about them, and we love it.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
5 Oct 09
I hope I can be a good grandmother when the time comes! I've got a ways to go yet though, my oldest is only 12.
@ersmommy1 (12587)
• United States
7 Oct 09
I have several. Some from my hubby's family. Some from mine. We try not to focus too much on it. We have an awesome group of friends. They are known to my kids as aunt and uncle. Sometimes the family a person makes can be just as important if not more so than the one they have. My mom and sisters both adore my kids. My brother can take or leave them. My hubby has 5 other siblings. They mostly focus on their own stuff.
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
6 Oct 09
i can i never had to deal with that. but i would say something to them about it and the kids feelings are getting hurt by it.
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
7 Oct 09
Hey kats~ I think that's really sad that your mom and sister
are still like that. You did say that you felt they never
really bonded with you and it's really sad that they are now
ignoring your daughter too. I don't think that you should put
your daughter through this if that is the way they are going
to act! I think that you should speak to them about this and
if they don't understand what you are trying to say I think
that you should leave your daughter home the next time you e
decide to see them, if you do decide to go out with them again.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
7 Oct 09
It's not like they're mean to her. If she says something to them they will respond, they just don't make it a point to ask her questions or attempt to include her in the conversation is all. It doesn't bother her a bit, she doesn't seem to notice, and I never noticed before either. It just struck me the other day.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
6 Oct 09
I know how that it is..I grew up with relatives on my mom's side doing that. And it still happens to this day..My mom I guess is one of the black sheep and us being her kids that title wore off on us. I have aunts,uncles and cousins that don't even know me..they couldn't pick me out of a lineup if they had to.. And when they are family get together like everyone getting together, we are ignored still. It has gotta hurt your daughter I know because I was hurt more then once because of it. I guess it would just be best to explain it to your daughter and maybe she will understand better and not be so hurt by their ways.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
6 Oct 09
At least your in-laws are good with the kids…if I remember correctly (I hope I amn’t confusing you with somebody else), they were pretty horrible with you and your hubby over several normal issues….
Anyway, no I don’t have any relative who’s completely oblivious to my son. One thing I’ve seen is that when the family meets together, there’s a lot of rivalry and jealousy regarding each other’s kids….whose kid is going to which school, what awards they are getting, what’s their grades etc…it completely puts me off! I also have cousins who’d actually pull a kid towards her and ask personal questions…not something that I’d say amounts to paying attention, but then they are there and I cant really ignore them. But I can make out that they are not really very interested in the kid, they are more interested in the kid’s personal life in a negative way.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
5 Oct 09
No time to chat today. But had to answer. My MIL didn't bond with my children. I meant to say that SHE ADORED MY ELDEST BUT DIDN'T GIVE A YOU KNOW WHAT ABOUT HE OTHER THREE. never REMEMBERED BIRTHDAYS OR Christmas'. Antique Lady would have called her a 'nasty little heifer'
. Sorry about caps. Accountant out to lunch and this is all the time I have to Mylot
. Sorry about caps. Accountant out to lunch and this is all the time I have to Mylot