family secrets

Yes they do, and it isolates us and makes us seem unfriendly or untrusting. Things like a grandparent who was alcoholic, or one who was a child molester. It continues.

I do think the family on my mother’s side has secrets or rather a good mixing of genes which either nobody admits or are themselves unaware of. My mom’s are eleven siblings and you can see a distinct difference in them…a set has a particular complexion, height and mental setup whereas the other set has a completely different set up. Its so stark that if two siblings from the different sides stood together, you could not say they are siblings if not told. However, my grandparents were OK…I mean both of them looked as common as us so the difference has to be earlier. However, mom has never spoken of this so I gather either she does not know or does not want to speak about it.

every one has a skeleton in his cupboard. now perhaps it is difficult to keep one's privacy in this modern society but we do have secrets. we don't like others to learn the secrets not because the secrets are evil or harmful to others but because we just want to keep them to ourselves.

I think every family has some secrets. My family have also secrets. But that secrecy within ourselves. That is not harmful for others or criminal nature.As you are a genealogist my question to you: why great many secrets in older time?

i think family secrets from yrs ago would be great to listen to, as society was so different back then. we've got a black sheep of the family, but all families have them. i know my dads side are just weird, to me. but that's the way i grew up.

No we really arent very secretive. We embrace our heritage. I come from a German line of gypsies. We never owned slaves, we never were involved in politics, but my great great grandmother was arrested for fortune telling!

Hi savypat, Our family doesn't have many secrets anymore but like you I've found some in our past. Sixty years ago some things were never discussed especially around children and secrets were kept very well. I was probably over forty before I discovered that my mother's sister had a child at a young age and gave the baby up for adoption. She later married and had three children with her husband. I don't think that either of them knew that they had a half-sister. Such things were considered a great shame at that time. Blessings.

My parents are big on secrets and they consider the strangest things as taboo...They worry about what others think all the time so they keep certain things secret, if only they realised that others seldom care or think about them!

In my family the secrets should be known but because of a denial factor it seems they are not.I mean my mother knows my father was arrested many times for child molestation,just because he charges didn't stick didn't mean he didn't do it.Knowing he molested children in our small town you would think she would have asked us if he was touching us.She should have, maybe she would have left him if she knew the truth.Nope never asked us and even denied he ever touched the neighborhood kids.Instead we were left to deal with the shame of it,no one was allowed to play with us.
She also denied his alcoholism or the fact that he would beat her when he was drunk.He has died now and yet she still will not admit the truth.I think for her if she was to admit the truth she would have to accept the fact that she didn't protect us.

i live in a very dysfunctional family in which everyone keeps secrets to themselves or among select groups. there is little trust and it makes it difficult to function as a family.

i know i have a massive scret that i keep from my mother because i simply dont want her to know certain things about me. i dont know how she will react, although im sure it will be unwanted attention.

although the extent of our secret hoarding is extreme, i think it is necessary for there to be some secrecy among families. other wise where does the surprise, awe and excitement come into life?