It is about ME, not you!  | |  For a number of reasons, I'm taking a sabbatical from my local pagan group. No-one had done anything to upset me or anything like that, I just needed a break and wanted time to devote to personal stuff and figure out where I am.
However, when I announced this one of the other members tried to lay a guilt trip on me about being absent. "who will do this and that", "why aren't you going to be around for me when I need someone to talk to" and then "I'm having problems and need to take a break so that means you can't".
I was pretty flabberghasted (such a good word) because I don't recall being in charge of anything. It is supposed to be an egalitarian group but, as with all groups, a small number of people do a lot of work and a lot of people do a small amount of work. There's NOTHING I do that cannot be taken on by someone else.
I'm also bewildered why this person thinks I should be at their beck and call when they want someone to. There are plenty of people in the group who have ears!
As for the third one, any clues 'cause that was the thing that really made me go WTF?
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 hvedra (180) | 1 month ago | That would make some sense actually. She has a very bad relationship with her mother (which is not her fault, her mother is one of those awful parents who only valued her son and resented her daughter). Of course, it isn't MY fault either and I'm not a social worker!
You are also right that I'm very much of a doer, at one point this got to the stage where I would pretty much exhaust myself helping others but I'm over a lot of that and have learned to recognise the difference between those who need help and those who want attention. | |
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 hornswaggled (1912) | 1 month ago |  And actually for me it was even worse than that. If I didn't feel needed then I suffered because I only felt worth when I felt that I was helping others.
I've still the need to help others but now I realize I can't help all the people all the time.
I can't base my happiness and well being on whether this person or that likes what I'm doing for them.
I hope you can find a balance. It sounds like you're just fine to me. It can be hard to do this sometimes can't it?
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