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Can a girl make the first move? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships4 weeks ago

Girls or women are considered inferior to men. Maybe some will agree some will not.

In our country, when a girl likes a boy, it would be immodest or improper if she will be the one to make the first move. That happened to me when i was in high school, i had a classmate and a close friend whom i like very much, i think i was in love with him at that time. He was so thoughtfulness and caring to me but i dont know if its because we are friends or he has feelings for me too. I was really dying to ask him but i am afraid he'll laugh at me and i'll be embarassed. I only kept on wishing and praying that one day he will tell me that he is in love with me too. We graduated in high school as friends and even up to now we still are. Both of us are still single{em}but should i make the first move?{he he} I dont think so.{em} Thirty five years has passed.

 
 
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tags:  relationship, love, relstionships, making a move, boy and girl
 
1. myLot reputation of 96/100. feodda (394)   ranked 318 out of 2,633 in relationships   4 weeks ago

Everyone of us has the choice to express out feelings. We are now in a new generation as they call it but there are some countries are not into liberated minds.

I am in a conservative nation but I still believe, we girls have the capacity to make the first move but to consider how to deal with it, without losing your dignity as a woman or person.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

I think so, women of the new generation are luckier. You are now more assertive and intelligent. So im sure there's a dignified way to show a man that you like or love him.

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2. myLot reputation of 89/100. sizzle3000 (2574)   ranked 2,173 out of 2,633 in relationships   4 weeks ago

In my opinion everyone is scared of that possible rejection which makes both males and females nervous to just jump in and ask. No matter how long has passed if you're both still friends then there might still be feelings. The only way to know is if somebody takes the chance to ask. And if you're still nervous ask yourself this: Do you want to spend your life wondering if there could actually be something betweent you two and possibly wind up regretting not making the first move?


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Thanks a lot for that very nice response, honestly, i am not hoping that our relationship will go beyond friendship anymore. Both of us has our own past relationships and we are busy with our own lives now. Its just good thinking that he is always there willing to help. Thanks.

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3. myLot reputation of 98/100. doryvien (917)   4 weeks ago

Hi triplejazz,

Thirty five years ago it was really improper for a girl to do that, and it's considered a "turn-off" among guys. This happened to me too. This guy was always there, we were always together, he pops up when I'm in trouble, appeared to really like me but never said anything. I felt the same way for him, it's crazy guessing what's going on in his mind. My difference from your situation was, I took the courage to ask him about his intentions (maybe unbecoming of a girl 20 years ago). But that did it. He was able to tell me about his feelings,afraid to lose me coz I might think he's taking advantage of the friendship. After that everything was clear, we both loved each other. We had a good 3-year boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, and though we did not end up as married couple, it was one relationship I find worth reminiscing (of course it ends there, I'm happily married nowhappy).

Imagine what could have happened if you asked? It could be a rejection, yes, but what if it's the other way around, just like what happened to me? If you are still friends with this guy, and he's still single, maybe it's not too late. wub


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Well, i think we're both happy with our situation now. Besides, i am not thinking of getting into another relationship. Thanks a lot.

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4. myLot reputation of 68/100. abbiemaldonado (117)   4 weeks ago

I had the 1st move sort of in my relationship which has been going on now for 6 years. we were at a wedding and i asked him to come down to the beach with me to take pictures of the moon. he claims that he had been told to come up to me and talk to me.... but he didnt really do that...

i think its perfectly fine for the female to make the 1st move.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Yes, i think so too. But i was raised differently. Maybe thats a factor. Women nowadays are more empowered, they can say what they want to say. I hope i was born today.

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5. myLot reputation of 85/100. Hatley (20382)   ranked 349 out of 2,633 in relationships   4 weeks ago

triplejazz now days in the US a lot of women have made the first move and ended up married to the man they loved.You never know unless you make a move and say I like you, lets go out and do something,then from there on he may take over, but make that step you can only lose, but if you dont try you will never know, and if you succeed both of you will be happy. You are not inferior to anyone so make a move and tell him how you feel, let him go from there,this is now, the past is past.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Well, i dont think we are still hoping for something to happen between us. We have our own lives now and both busy with each others work, besides, we are already approaching the later chapter of our lives. I hope with this discussion lots of women will realize that we have to be expressive of what we really feel. Anyway, women of this generation are more assertive of their feelings and opinions. Thanks a lot.{em}

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6. myLot reputation of 72/100. rameshkumaar57 (1456)   4 weeks ago

My god you are wasting you youth. You can certainly make the first move. At least you will know if he reciprocates your feelings. This happened to me a long time back, a girl whom I was moving as a friend, kissed my hand and told me that she loves me, I gently explained to her about my feelings. Of course I lost a very good friend, but at least both of us are happily married now.
There is nothing wrong in the girl, making the first move.So go for it.Girls are not inferior to men. Both are equal.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Hi! Thanks for saying that men and women are equal, because that is what i believe in also. but my story happened a long time ago. How i wish that i was born today, i should have made the first move. Thanks a lot.{em}


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Hi! Thanks for saying that men and women are equal. That is what i believe and advocate at present. But my story happened long time ago, i wish i was born in your generation i should have made the first move. Anyway, thanks a lot.


myLot reputation of 72/100. rameshkumaar57 (1456)  4 weeks ago

My first sentence might be wrong. I saw your profile, only after the posting. Not to worry, even now you can make the first move, and ask him. So what, if you are more than 50, I am also more than 50, and if I were you, I would make the move now.

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7. myLot reputation of 84/100. fiazio (356)   4 weeks ago

Wow did you just say 35! years, how could you wait that long. It doesn't matter about being embarrassed, just go and ask him out, he won't laugh, i bet.
According to me men are inferior to women. So go on now and call now, and do it!
best of luck!


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

Should I?{em} I think i have to gather my courage first. Thank you.

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8. jayzelle (77)   4 weeks ago

everyone could make the first move but it depends on the thought or thinking of a person. But in this issue, its better for the boy to make the first move since its there time to show respect or to show how much they like the girl. for the girls this is the time where you would feel the right man for you.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

I think it depends on the culture. Nowadays western women are more agressive than in other countries. But women of the present generation are more expressive of their feelings. Well, good for them. Thanks a lot.

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9. myLot reputation of 83/100. hunieby (133)   4 weeks ago

I think a girl can drop a few hints there and then. There is freedom for each one of us so if a girl wants to make the first move and she has the guts no one can stop her if she wants to.


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

I believe so too, but not during my generation. Thank you.

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10. Savedeath (33)   4 weeks ago

why not?i think we have the right to do what we want to do.if you really like him then tell him,that's easy.i mean if it's the real love then don't think so much,the real love worth it


myLot reputation of 86/100. triplejazzm51 (238)   ranked 1,932 out of 2,633 in relationships  4 weeks ago

But that happened long time ago and our culture does not allow it during those times. Women nowadays may do that already because times have changed. Thank you so much.

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