Hello My Friends! A Bit Of An Update On Me Myself & I....
By CatsandDogs
@CatsandDogs (13963)
United States
November 7, 2009 1:22pm CST
I've been away from mylot for a week or so on a "off and on" basis, not doing much. Some things have happened that sent me into a spiral downfall but thanks to things turning around a bit, I'm doing better.... then only to find out a bit of news that sent me into another tail spin that I just don't know what the hell to think anymore. So I had to take some time out so to speak to get my head screwed on tight again. Not sure I'll ever really get it on tight though. Not the way my life goes. 
Mom has been so nice since that talk we had that one night. I think what she said and that I agreed, it really hit her hard and finally she's woken up. She said she felt that we were growing apart and I told her that I felt it too. I think it shook her to the core and now she's not being so unreasonable and instead has come around quite a bit. She's much nicer to be around which in turn, makes me so much happier and more at ease around her. It doesn't mean that I trust her with my feelings because I don't but still, she's come around a lot lately which is really right nice! My guard is still up but I'm enjoying this change while it's here for it doesn't last forever. She'll go back to her old ways eventually unless she's finally learned her lesson. I can only hope!
My dad came over to see if I could get the pictures on his phone off and printed but he has some kind of block on it that I couldn't get them off and he came to get his watch adjusted to the right time which I was able to do. Anyway, we got to talking and I told him about mom keeping secrets and how it's not right because it's tearing this family apart because we're not on the same page. I tried to explain that it doesn't matter how much each of us are helping as so long as we're all helping the best we can. I knew my middle brother was giving our parents $200. a month but it's for music equipment that dad walked out on many many years ago due to what he overheard my brothers had said and my brother owed for since he took over the band. That's all well and good and all but that's what he owes my parents and I was angry because hubby and I were doing that and so much more whether it's physical or monetary, we were giving A LOT more than both of my brothers combined and that both of my brother could give a little bit more overhead of what he owed but he said he couldn't and then we had that awful argument almost a year ago and we've only spoken once since then, no apology came from that one talk but we did talk but very little. I won't talk to him until I get that apology. When I did talk to him, I felt very cornered because it was at our parent's house. It made mom happy to see that I talked to him so that part was good but she doesn't need to know that I won't talk to him again unless it's to apologize, him to me. No need because it'll only upset her more.
Anyway, while dad was here, he told me that my middle brother had given them $500. last month! 
I was taken aback with that bit of information and told dad so and asked him why is mom keeping all these secrets? It's not a competition thing going on here! We're family and we're suppose to help each other in our time of need as much as we can, not be upset because one is giving more than the other and what not, just that we all know we're giving the best that we're able to, nothing more and nothing less. I explained that with us not knowing what's going on, we felt we were helping them all alone which is not fair but had I known about this, I would've backed off! And I told him that these secrets is tearing us apart! I'm not sure how much of that sunk in his head but I'm sure a lot of it did for he had a 30 minute drive back home to think and that I'm sure he did! Dad's a thinker and has to go off alone to think it through.
Thursday I went to get my hair cut and then went up to see mom and dad. Mom told me that my middle brother was to have a spinal tap and some other test done that day to see if he has carpal tunnel and multiple sclerosis and that she was waiting for a phone call from him which she ended up calling him and found that he most likely has carpal tunnel but won't know about multiple sclerosis until the tests come back and then he told her that after next month, he may not be able to send them $200. a month due to "might" have surgery on his hands. Mom told him that she's not worried about that but about him and for him not to worry about it either. Now, in situations like this, I can understand that too, just don't keep it a secret from me for I do not like that at all. Now to ask you my friends, am I being unreasonable? I don't think I am for I'm easy to work with when told the whole situation with all of us and not hiding it. I feel we need to come together in this so we can all be on the same page and not bicker about it anymore. Like I told dad, this secrecy sh*t has got to go! Not to bring up old subjects but deg gone it, when my oldest brother was having a terrible time putting food on their table, hubby and I went grocery shopping during our visit there and got a car load of groceries and took it to him and his family and we did not include the receipt because it was on us! That's what family is about! We're suppose to help each other in our time of need! Not a competition thing! Not at all! Now my brother has helped me too in my time of need and at that time, we were doing terrible and my brother was doing good! It's what makes the world go around, right? (Ok, lets dance! LOL I had to throw that in the mix! LOL)
So tell me, do you think I'm being unreasonable? What's your take on this secrecy crap? I tell you, I hate it!!
Now I'm going to have to start another discussion for I'm afraid it won't all fit on here. The last time I did a really long discussion, it didn't all get put up and don't want that to happen again. Nooooo way!!
Mom has been so nice since that talk we had that one night. I think what she said and that I agreed, it really hit her hard and finally she's woken up. She said she felt that we were growing apart and I told her that I felt it too. I think it shook her to the core and now she's not being so unreasonable and instead has come around quite a bit. She's much nicer to be around which in turn, makes me so much happier and more at ease around her. It doesn't mean that I trust her with my feelings because I don't but still, she's come around a lot lately which is really right nice! My guard is still up but I'm enjoying this change while it's here for it doesn't last forever. She'll go back to her old ways eventually unless she's finally learned her lesson. I can only hope!
My dad came over to see if I could get the pictures on his phone off and printed but he has some kind of block on it that I couldn't get them off and he came to get his watch adjusted to the right time which I was able to do. Anyway, we got to talking and I told him about mom keeping secrets and how it's not right because it's tearing this family apart because we're not on the same page. I tried to explain that it doesn't matter how much each of us are helping as so long as we're all helping the best we can. I knew my middle brother was giving our parents $200. a month but it's for music equipment that dad walked out on many many years ago due to what he overheard my brothers had said and my brother owed for since he took over the band. That's all well and good and all but that's what he owes my parents and I was angry because hubby and I were doing that and so much more whether it's physical or monetary, we were giving A LOT more than both of my brothers combined and that both of my brother could give a little bit more overhead of what he owed but he said he couldn't and then we had that awful argument almost a year ago and we've only spoken once since then, no apology came from that one talk but we did talk but very little. I won't talk to him until I get that apology. When I did talk to him, I felt very cornered because it was at our parent's house. It made mom happy to see that I talked to him so that part was good but she doesn't need to know that I won't talk to him again unless it's to apologize, him to me. No need because it'll only upset her more.
Anyway, while dad was here, he told me that my middle brother had given them $500. last month! I was taken aback with that bit of information and told dad so and asked him why is mom keeping all these secrets? It's not a competition thing going on here! We're family and we're suppose to help each other in our time of need as much as we can, not be upset because one is giving more than the other and what not, just that we all know we're giving the best that we're able to, nothing more and nothing less. I explained that with us not knowing what's going on, we felt we were helping them all alone which is not fair but had I known about this, I would've backed off! And I told him that these secrets is tearing us apart! I'm not sure how much of that sunk in his head but I'm sure a lot of it did for he had a 30 minute drive back home to think and that I'm sure he did! Dad's a thinker and has to go off alone to think it through.
Thursday I went to get my hair cut and then went up to see mom and dad. Mom told me that my middle brother was to have a spinal tap and some other test done that day to see if he has carpal tunnel and multiple sclerosis and that she was waiting for a phone call from him which she ended up calling him and found that he most likely has carpal tunnel but won't know about multiple sclerosis until the tests come back and then he told her that after next month, he may not be able to send them $200. a month due to "might" have surgery on his hands. Mom told him that she's not worried about that but about him and for him not to worry about it either. Now, in situations like this, I can understand that too, just don't keep it a secret from me for I do not like that at all. Now to ask you my friends, am I being unreasonable? I don't think I am for I'm easy to work with when told the whole situation with all of us and not hiding it. I feel we need to come together in this so we can all be on the same page and not bicker about it anymore. Like I told dad, this secrecy sh*t has got to go! Not to bring up old subjects but deg gone it, when my oldest brother was having a terrible time putting food on their table, hubby and I went grocery shopping during our visit there and got a car load of groceries and took it to him and his family and we did not include the receipt because it was on us! That's what family is about! We're suppose to help each other in our time of need! Not a competition thing! Not at all! Now my brother has helped me too in my time of need and at that time, we were doing terrible and my brother was doing good! It's what makes the world go around, right? (Ok, lets dance! LOL I had to throw that in the mix! LOL)
So tell me, do you think I'm being unreasonable? What's your take on this secrecy crap? I tell you, I hate it!!
Now I'm going to have to start another discussion for I'm afraid it won't all fit on here. The last time I did a really long discussion, it didn't all get put up and don't want that to happen again. Nooooo way!!7 people like this
10 responses
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Hey Mary Beth,
You should be proud that you and hubby are willing and able to help your parents out. I just wish you could leave it at that and not worry about your brothers. I would think that your hands are pretty full with just Mom and Dad. You can't control other peoples life even though at times they give you false hope. Your Mom and Dad keep you off balanced enough without adding those brothers into the mix.
Take that energy you spend on lost causes and use it on thinking of special things for you and hubby!!
I answered your second half of this, so, to be continued.
Leenie
I answered your second half of this, so, to be continued.
Leenie1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
Hi Leenie! I'm so sorry for being so late in getting back to you! I've had to take some time to myself to think. Did I get anywhere with this mind of mine? LOL No, not really but I'm working on it. I talked to my brother the other day, he called me to find out if we were free on the 22nd because he wants us kids to get together to take mom out to dinner for her birthday. The place he's talking of taking her to is about 3 hours away from us, a German restaurant since that's what mom has a craving for. I agreed and told him that we'd take mom and dad up there for there's no need to bring two cars plus it being so far away. We got to talking and I tried to explain to him how he's hurt me this last time and how he took me wrong and how he was so damned nasty to me without reason and he said that we just may have to agree to disagree. I didn't say anything one way or the other but felt we didn't get anywhere and the more I thought about it, NO. I will not accept that answer no matter what. It's either he believes that his son is lying or he can keep on going his way for I'm through. The reason I feel this way is because, too much went on over the years and I've kept my mouth shut in order to keep the peace, not only that but I've never hurt him, never gave him reason to not believe me so I'm thinking it's his way of sweeping it under the carpet. Well sorry bro, it's not going to go that way. It's going to be MY WAY this time or the damned highway. NO MORE. BUT, I'll be ok with family gatherings and such but I won't act overly friendly with him as I have in the past but to keep up appearances for my parents because they so love having all of us kids together with them so I'm willing to do those things for THEM and only for THEM.
I hope and pray that he doesn’t have MS. I don't wish anybody any harm or any bad luck. I really don't. I believe what goes around comes around and when it comes back around, it's ten fold. I wouldn't want anybody to wish me any harm so why would I wish something on someone else if I wouldn't wish it on myself, right? And if he can't work, he can't help out. I wouldn't expect him to either but this secrecy crap has got to go. Hubby and I wouldn't feel so alone in doing all that we do and then some which is way more than what my brothers have done in the past to now. It doesn't matter how much each of us are giving so long as we're all helping OUR parents but I haven't a clue as to who gave what or when. I told my one brother that we've given thousands of dollars to our parents and the one said he has too but the thing is, which I didn't tell him, he owes that money to them whereas, hubby and I don't owe a damn cent. There's a big difference there but I didn't want him to see that as a throw in his face type of thing, quite the contrary but wanted him to know we can't hold this boat up alone. But I kept that part to myself out of fear he take it the wrong way and take it as a competition which isn't what this is but helping our parents in their time of need.
mom and I are getting along really great now but I know her, she can flip on a dime. She's done it so many times in the past that my wall is waaaaaay up there but I can still love her nonetheless and that I do! I just wish she could see her kids as they are, her kids but as adults and not competing with each other. However, I’m enjoying all the good times I’m having with her while it lasts. Hopefully it lasts a long long time!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Nov 09
As you say there is no need for the Secrecy you might not be able to give as much money but you are doing a lot for them already
It is better to have it in the open as you say there is only trouble and mistrust when secrets are kept specially if there is no need for it
Hugs to you Sweetie
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
15 Nov 09
Sweetie it sounds like your Brother is like your Mum in that sense he does not see his Kids the way they really are and I believe he knows you are telling the Truth but he is just like you say just sweeping it under the Carpet
I have to be honest if I was in this Situation I would leave it be but as you say let him take the Highway, but when you are with the Family just act normal with him so that your Parents do not get hurt because he does not realize it is not just you he is hurting by behaving like a total prat he is hurting the People around to
I really hope things go well
Big Hugs
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
I'm so sorry for being so late in getting back to you! I've had to take some time to myself to think. Did I get anywhere with this mind of mine? LOL No, not really but I'm working on it. I talked to my brother the other day, he called me to find out if we were free on the 22nd because he wants us kids to get together to take mom out to dinner for her birthday. The place he's talking of taking her to is about 3 hours away from us, a German restaurant since that's what mom has a craving for. I agreed and told him that we'd take mom and dad up there for there's no need to bring two cars plus it being so far away. We got to talking and I tried to explain to him how he's hurt me this last time and how he took me wrong and how he was so damned nasty to me without reason and he said that we just may have to agree to disagree. I didn't say anything one way or the other but felt we didn't get anywhere and the more I thought about it, NO. I will not accept that answer no matter what. It's either he believes that his son is lying or he can keep on going his way for I'm through. The reason I feel this way is because, too much went on over the years and I've kept my mouth shut in order to keep the peace, not only that but I've never hurt him, never gave him reason to not believe me so I'm thinking it's his way of sweeping it under the carpet. Well sorry bro, it's not going to go that way. It's going to be MY WAY this time or the damned highway. NO MORE. BUT, I'll be ok with family gatherings and such but I won't act overly friendly with him as I have in the past but to keep up appearances for my parents because they so love having all of us kids together with them so I'm willing to do those things for THEM and only for THEM.
I hope and pray that he doesn’t have MS. I don't wish anybody any harm or any bad luck. I really don't. I believe what goes around comes around and when it comes back around, it's ten fold. I wouldn't want anybody to wish me any harm so why would I wish something on someone else if I wouldn't wish it on myself, right? And if he can't work, he can't help out. I wouldn't expect him to either but this secrecy crap has got to go. Hubby and I wouldn't feel so alone in doing all that we do and then some which is way more than what my brothers have done in the past to now. It doesn't matter how much each of us are giving so long as we're all helping OUR parents but I haven't a clue as to who gave what or when. I told my one brother that we've given thousands of dollars to our parents and the one said he has too but the thing is, which I didn't tell him, he owes that money to them whereas, hubby and I don't owe a damn cent. There's a big difference there but I didn't want him to see that as a throw in his face type of thing, quite the contrary but wanted him to know we can't hold this boat up alone. But I kept that part to myself out of fear he take it the wrong way and take it as a competition which isn't what this is but helping our parents in their time of need.
mom and I are getting along really great now but I know her, she can flip on a dime. She's done it so many times in the past that my wall is waaaaaay up there but I can still love her nonetheless and that I do! I just wish she could see her kids as they are, her kids but as adults and not competing with each other. However, I’m enjoying all the good times I’m having with her while it lasts. Hopefully it lasts a long long time!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Nov 09
You're lucky, you get the information one way or another. I don't get it at all unless dad tells it and getting him alone is like pulling teeth but now I know where to get it if I need it. I can't talk to either one of my brothers because one will blow up and the other is secretive as hell.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
8 Nov 09
Please forgive me cats but I actually did forget the original problem with your mom and I got terribly lost trying to follow this. I just got out of work and I'll have to take some time to go back and re-read your older discussions to refresh my brain. I do remember that you had issues with your mom. Secrets are never ever good. They usually just make problems where none need to exist. As for your brother...I hope that he does not have MS because from what little I know of that disease, it is not an easy one to live with. I can tell you are very worked up. How about a family meeting where you all clear the air and maybe come to some agreements. I can tell this is tearing you apart.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Hi there Cats,
No need to apologize for the time it took to respond. I know you are very busy and it's just me....I don't pay attention to that stuff. Ok, yes, now the original story is coming back to me.
I think the way you are dealing with your brother is the best way. He obviously is stuck on the fact that he thinks he is right and doesn't want to consider the fact that you might possibly know what you are talking about. Like you said it isn't worth the battle and it will only upset the parents and probably still not change his thinking. It's too bad.
I'm glad to hear that you and your mom are getting along. That at least must give you some peace of mind...huh?
Well one thing for sure is that you are doing your best to keep peace amongst everyone and with everyone. I know it can't be easy. It is true though, what comes around goes around. In the end you will at least feel good about yourself and how you handled everything. Keep us posted. ok?
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
8 Nov 09
I also don't like secrecy nonsense. My take on this is that those whom know secrets seem to think that they have the upper-hand of things, like in control of situations and whatever. I so agree with you on this statement: 'We're family and we're suppose to help each other in our time of need as much as we can..' - I so agree with you on that one.
To me, as a family, we should put our differences and need to be fair with everyone (without having any secrets whatsoever). Secrets can only destroy family bonding because the one knowing will always think they are better than the one being clueless. But sometimes, they say ignorance is bliss. So I don't know where it applies in all this. But when it comes to family, frankness should always be the option.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
I'm so sorry for being so late in getting back to you! I've had to take some time to myself to think. Did I get anywhere with this mind of mine? LOL No, not really but I'm working on it. I talked to my brother the other day, he called me to find out if we were free on the 22nd because he wants us kids to get together to take mom out to dinner for her birthday. The place he's talking of taking her to is about 3 hours away from us, a German restaurant since that's what mom has a craving for. I agreed and told him that we'd take mom and dad up there for there's no need to bring two cars plus it being so far away. We got to talking and I tried to explain to him how he's hurt me this last time and how he took me wrong and how he was so damned nasty to me without reason and he said that we just may have to agree to disagree. I didn't say anything one way or the other but felt we didn't get anywhere and the more I thought about it, NO. I will not accept that answer no matter what. It's either he believes that his son is lying or he can keep on going his way for I'm through. The reason I feel this way is because, too much went on over the years and I've kept my mouth shut in order to keep the peace, not only that but I've never hurt him, never gave him reason to not believe me so I'm thinking it's his way of sweeping it under the carpet. Well sorry bro, it's not going to go that way. It's going to be MY WAY this time or the damned highway. NO MORE. BUT, I'll be ok with family gatherings and such but I won't act overly friendly with him as I have in the past but to keep up appearances for my parents because they so love having all of us kids together with them so I'm willing to do those things for THEM and only for THEM.
I hope and pray that he doesn’t have MS. I don't wish anybody any harm or any bad luck. I really don't. I believe what goes around comes around and when it comes back around, it's ten fold. I wouldn't want anybody to wish me any harm so why would I wish something on someone else if I wouldn't wish it on myself, right? And if he can't work, he can't help out. I wouldn't expect him to either but this secrecy crap has got to go. Hubby and I wouldn't feel so alone in doing all that we do and then some which is way more than what my brothers have done in the past to now. It doesn't matter how much each of us are giving so long as we're all helping OUR parents but I haven't a clue as to who gave what or when. I told my one brother that we've given thousands of dollars to our parents and the one said he has too but the thing is, which I didn't tell him, he owes that money to them whereas, hubby and I don't owe a damn cent. There's a big difference there but I didn't want him to see that as a throw in his face type of thing, quite the contrary but wanted him to know we can't hold this boat up alone. But I kept that part to myself out of fear he take it the wrong way and take it as a competition which isn't what this is but helping our parents in their time of need.
mom and I are getting along really great now but I know her, she can flip on a dime. She's done it so many times in the past that my wall is waaaaaay up there but I can still love her nonetheless and that I do! I just wish she could see her kids as they are, her kids but as adults and not competing with each other. However, I’m enjoying all the good times I’m having with her while it lasts. Hopefully it lasts a long long time!
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
19 Nov 09
Thanks for typing it all out to me for a better understanding. And no, I don't mind at all; take your time, all of us have things to do and it's really cool to be able to read and then reply in due time. So no worries there..
When I read your story, I asked myself like why there are people like that; as in what you have described. I think I'm on your side for this one. My general thought/reason is because I know how hard it is for you to keep everything together, keep a straight face no matter how much you are hurt and knowing that the other party is keeping a non-caring attitude or so. And it so hurts to know that he/she is actually part of our own flesh and blood.
It can be in the case of siblings, relatives or even half sister or brother. But the hurt is still the same. I've been wanting to blog about family ties for a long time, but I just couldn't find the right words to conjure up everything. It takes a lot of courage, and for you to share snippets of this, I admire you so. That actually is an understatement of how much you love your parents, your mom especially and of course, your family. I've long realized that it doesn't mean that when we wish well upon something, someone would see it.
Sometimes it might take years for someone to realize that. And when they do, it's already too late. Be patient, my friend, I know you are strong enough for this, and hopefully, your parents do realize this after all. And I hope your brother knows how much you actually care for him, and has been hurting too.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
8 Nov 09
I don’t like unnecessary secrecy amongst those who love each other as it only causes division and resentment. I don’t think you can be responsible or able to control what everybody else is doing. I would focus on the fact that you are doing your best for your parents and that is all you should focus on, I think.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
Hi Paula! I'm so sorry for being so late in getting back to you! I've had to take some time to myself to think. Did I get anywhere with this mind of mine? LOL No, not really but I'm working on it. I talked to my brother the other day, he called me to find out if we were free on the 22nd because he wants us kids to get together to take mom out to dinner for her birthday. The place he's talking of taking her to is about 3 hours away from us, a German restaurant since that's what mom has a craving for. I agreed and told him that we'd take mom and dad up there for there's no need to bring two cars plus it being so far away. We got to talking and I tried to explain to him how he's hurt me this last time and how he took me wrong and how he was so damned nasty to me without reason and he said that we just may have to agree to disagree. I didn't say anything one way or the other but felt we didn't get anywhere and the more I thought about it, NO. I will not accept that answer no matter what. It's either he believes that his son is lying or he can keep on going his way for I'm through. The reason I feel this way is because, too much went on over the years and I've kept my mouth shut in order to keep the peace, not only that but I've never hurt him, never gave him reason to not believe me so I'm thinking it's his way of sweeping it under the carpet. Well sorry bro, it's not going to go that way. It's going to be MY WAY this time or the damned highway. NO MORE. BUT, I'll be ok with family gatherings and such but I won't act overly friendly with him as I have in the past but to keep up appearances for my parents because they so love having all of us kids together with them so I'm willing to do those things for THEM and only for THEM.
I hope and pray that he doesn’t have MS. I don't wish anybody any harm or any bad luck. I really don't. I believe what goes around comes around and when it comes back around, it's ten fold. I wouldn't want anybody to wish me any harm so why would I wish something on someone else if I wouldn't wish it on myself, right? And if he can't work, he can't help out. I wouldn't expect him to either but this secrecy crap has got to go. Hubby and I wouldn't feel so alone in doing all that we do and then some which is way more than what my brothers have done in the past to now. It doesn't matter how much each of us are giving so long as we're all helping OUR parents but I haven't a clue as to who gave what or when. I told my one brother that we've given thousands of dollars to our parents and the one said he has too but the thing is, which I didn't tell him, he owes that money to them whereas, hubby and I don't owe a damn cent. There's a big difference there but I didn't want him to see that as a throw in his face type of thing, quite the contrary but wanted him to know we can't hold this boat up alone. But I kept that part to myself out of fear he take it the wrong way and take it as a competition which isn't what this is but helping our parents in their time of need.
mom and I are getting along really great now but I know her, she can flip on a dime. She's done it so many times in the past that my wall is waaaaaay up there but I can still love her nonetheless and that I do! I just wish she could see her kids as they are, her kids but as adults and not competing with each other. However, I’m enjoying all the good times I’m having with her while it lasts. Hopefully it lasts a long long time!
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
15 Nov 09
Hi Cats! I hope your mum's relationship with stays positive for a long time yet. It's good to see that you know her and you are prepared for a sudden change should it happen, enjoy the good times while they last and make good memories with your mum while you can. Good on you for standing up to your brother too! Take care Cats,
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
7 Nov 09
I have your back Cats, I agree with you on the secrecy stuff. Secrets like that aren't good. As for your brother, the carpal tunnel can be treated just fine. I hope he doesn't have the MS, that doesn't sound good. I am happy that you and your mom are getting along better. As for helping family and friends, thats what makes the world go round. We all need some help at some point in our lives. We are supposed to help each other.
Of course I will dance with you, thanks for asking......just had to throw that in..
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
Hi Polly! and thanks! I'm sorry for being so late in getting back to you. I had to take some time out to think and maybe get my head on straight. HA! HA! Like that's possible. HA! HA! I hope my brother doesn't have ms either. I don't wish anybody any harm or any bad luck. I really don't. I believe what goes around comes around and when it comes back around, it's ten fold. I wouldn't want anybody to wish me any harm so why would I wish something on someone else if I wouldn't wish it on myself, right?
Yeah, mom and I are getting along really great now but I know her, she can flip on a dime. She's done it so many times in the past that my wall is waaaaaay up there but I can still love her nonetheless and that I do! I just wish she could see her kids as they are, her kids but as adults and not competing with each other. At least, I'm not like that but gosh, I'd have backed down quite a bit if I had known my one brother was helping more.
There's so much to tell so please, if you will, go to Oreo's response and read what I typed up. I think I'm going to have to get a little bit of this and that responses and put them together as a copy and paste to get it all down. It's just too much for me to remember it all.
Oh goody!! I have someone who'll dance with me!! LOL 
Oh goody!! I have someone who'll dance with me!! LOL 1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169549)
• United States
7 Nov 09
It simply does make it all easier if you can just say "everyone is helping", amounts are not necessary. Secrets are hard on relationships.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Nov 09
EXACTLY GG!! Exactly!! If I had known this, there wouldn't have been a big blow up and if my brother knew about us coming up there to clean my parents house after my nephew made a hell of a mess out of it, then maybe there wouldn't have been a blow up there either but nooooooo, secrets secrets which tore us all apart and who hears about it? ME. That is NOT fair.
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
7 Nov 09
I hope your brother doesn't have MS, that is such a cruel disease.
You may just have to change your attitude and expectations, you know. There is very little you can do to change your family dynamics so you may have to live with them or have less to do with your family.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
7 Nov 09
I hope he doesn't have it either. Although we don't talk because of how he talked to me a year ago, doesn't mean that I don't care about him because I do, very much but this secrecy nonsense has got to stop. It wasn't like this before so why is it like this now? I don't get it.
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
15 Nov 09
No, it's not that at all bing although I wish it were. She's afraid of us kids competing with one another which isn't the case at all, at least not to me. I just need to know that my brothers are helping because we've helped so much and are being drained dry while my brothers are able to go on lavish vacations and hubby and I can't.
