Putting ourselves in another's place.

Okay - well this is getting a littler personal. But based on the first few lines... about putting yourself in someone else's shoes kind of thing.... a few years back I dated this guy who just happened to be on parole.... but anyway, we were together a few months and things just weren't working and one day he decided to pick me up and slam me on the ground... against my wishes his step father called the police - he was in prison once for violent crimes and he wasn't going to let the boyfriend think he could get away with it again kind of thing... well wrong move apparently. The boyfriend found me one night shortly after... and not so much threatened my life, but the lives of my family and his if I didn't help him. I had to get my daughter and drive him 200 miles to the town where I now live. Not tell a soul he was with me b/c the police were looking for him. Anytime we needed milk or groceries or anything... I had to leave my 1 year old daughter behind... we did this for 3 or 4 weeks. I had to drive the 200 miles back to our old place to pack it up (a 3 bedroom house mind you) and move it back up... and I had to be there before midnight or my daughter wouldn't be there. Everytime I left I was reminded that he had Joslynn and I was not to try anything stupid.

This whole escapade ended one day b/c I was getting sick of everything. I tried to sneakily tuck my daughter in her carseat and sneak out - but he heard me... knew I was leaving. He tried taking Joslynn ( who was in the carry along car seat) down the hall... I did manage to stop that thankfully - but he ended up beating the crap out of me. He stole my car and my cell phone - luckily the landlord was home and called the police for me.

About an hour later he had come back to the building - I talked to him right before it all came to a hault and let him know not to come back to the apartment - that the police were notified and he'd be going to jail. I told him tot ake the car to wherever, that there was money in the glove box to run... just stay away from me and Joslynn... little did I know, he was in the hallway, and he had all ready been spotted and the police were right behind him. He shot himself in the hallway.

I felt guily, and still feel a tremendous amount of guilt over the whole situation. His father (who was an @$$ anyway... caused alot of the boyfriends mental issues kind of thing) was furious with me that I never called him or the police... that he could have helped me. I tried to explain to him that any chance that I would have had to call the authorities... he had Joslynn... and I couldn't risk that. I told him that if I could have done it where my daughter and I could have both been safe, it would have been done. I tried to explain that I didn't feel comfortable telling him or the boyfriends mother of his where abouts because if THEY would have decided to call the police, there's no telling what would have happened.

So sometimes you think you really know what you might do in a situation... and the person that was in that situation, honestly thought of every other way possible and there just wasn't one. I'm so sorry that he had to die over all of it... but I am extremely greatful that he didn't take me or my daughter with him....

Pose-

I understand what you are trying to say, and it is a noble idea. I however am not to that point in my life. My brother did a horrible thing and deserves what he is getting in prison. Yes, he was once an innocent child, but he had a choice as an adult and he chose the opposite.

I believe that people come to a point in life where they can no longer plead ignorance for their actions. In this case, I feel it acceptable to love those people, but not necessarily like them or even associate with them.

Namaste-Anora

Hi Pose,
I think I’ve mastered the art of not being judgmental about people LOL…but seriously speaking, there was a time when like most people around me, I would be analytical about people and their reactions in general. However, there was a realization that I was not doing anybody any benefit but simply wasting my time gossiping and spreading poison…so now, I really don’t participate much in such discussions and if anybody asks my opinion, my simple answer is that since I was myself not in similar position, it would be best for me not to comment. It keeps my mind clear and peaceful.
What you say about prisoners is true too…circumstances mould a person and if given a chance at the right time, many of those prisoners might not have turned to crime. However, I feel that criminals, specially the hardened ones, are not in the same league as the rest of us. There are so many innocent children all over the world who don’t even have a shed over their head …forget about a decent meal. Yet, how many of them take to crime? How many continue with it? Most make do with whatever life offers them…a few succumb to the lure of quick money and enter the dark alleys, never to leave again. And it becomes a challenge for them, not to return to the mainstream, but how to evade the law more effectively. They have no remorse, little conscience and are a law unto themselves.

This is really a touching story and it is very true we should never judge others by thier action because of situations people face in life even though we should not think of doing evil as our thoughts can easily become reality. I pray that I don't face situations thatwould make me do anything hideous

In this mad mad world who has the time to delve deep into situations and understand the other person's predicament if in the first place by so doing one loses his/her ground. Suffice it to say man is basically selfish and he/she will only scrape the surface so long as he/she benefits from this approach. At the same time even if one were to be considerate how much does one know about the other person's condition? How much of it is exposed? What is wrong however is to stand on judgement especially if it has nothing to do with us. There is a quote 'Judge not another but judge within and there you will find enough of sin'.

This is a very fascinating story,let me immersed in the screen

I always keep an open mind in meeting new acquaintances but sometimes you can't help but judge people you don't know by the way they look or speak. I know that its not right to judge others because you don't have any idea of what they must have gone through to get to the stage. You are entitled to your own opinion but still keep an open mind on things. And like you've said try putting ones self on another shoe.