Are you lonely???
By bodhisatya
@bodhisatya (2384)
India
November 17, 2009 11:02am CST
There is this person. I know him for the past 10 or more years now. He had a tremendous rude attitude towards people. Somehow he always thought that he is smartest guy in the planet.
He was rude with his friends (at times even with me), with his parents and his classmates. Then he joined in a company and he was getting it very difficult to match up with the temperament of a professional atmosphere. He had some very Infamous fights, brawls and heated arguments.
There there was a twist in the scheme of events. He lost his mom she was suddenly diagonised with cancer. He was shattered. Then he got married a year later. His father and the new wife couldn't keep things going and this guy blamed his wife initially. He is living separately from his wife now and seeking divorce. He have had lost many a friends and hardly anybody today calls him up just to ask how he is doing. Today he has nobody else but his father to live with. The latest news they too are quarrelling over trivial issues nowadays. They blame each other for the things going wrong.
This friend of mine today is surely very very pathetically lonely. I feel so sorry for him.
He just don't have anybody to speak with except during weekends when we catch up occasionally.
Am I just imagining and feeling romantic over this entire thing or is it that everybody of us here are equally so lonely? Do you have somebody to talk with without any inhibitions and can share whatever you honestly feel? Do you have someone to understand you, or you too are just so lonely? Do share.
Bodhi
1 person likes this
11 responses
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
18 Nov 09
I wouldn't say my life is lonely. I have a good life with my Mom and my boyfriend. I have friends who care for me and vice versa and I also have pets that I love and care for.
I think life is what you make it. If you open yourself to others, you'll find that some people will reciprocate and life wouldn't be so "lonely". I'm lucky that I have someone to talk to and be completely honest with about my thoughts and feelings.
2 people like this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
18 Nov 09
Hey Rg,
I am truly pleased to know that you have a wonderful life. People who have friends and family around them are blessed. I am so happy for you. 
Bodhi
Bodhi @mpkool (84)
• India
18 Nov 09
To begin with I would sympathize with the poor guy. He is getting a lot of trouble in his life of no reason, even may be not because of his fault. But my friend, it is this fantastic fact about life that it wont let you assemble when it is there to disintegrate your personality. You have to just bow before the mishappennings and wait for your time. As far as I am concerned I too have faced the same phase in my life but it lasted for a short interval..but that too made me learn a lot..mostly because of my philosophical alertness. To be philosophical here, I would suggest an equation here:'loneliness is directly proportional to introvertness' & 'inversely proportional to extrovertness'...more you give importance to other's words without being bias, more you will attract followers..try it my friends, it really works...
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Interesting thing you said. I would try to apply it. Thank you my friend for your wonderful thoughts.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
17 Nov 09
This is a person with many problems. He is carrying around rage for most of his life and this does not make him attractive - so that people would want him as a friend. He has so many issues that only a trained counsellor could assist him with. It is very sad and unless he can recognise and identify exactly what it is to make him so unhappy then, unfortunately, he will become a very lonely and embittered old man. God help him.
1 person likes this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
18 Nov 09
Hello,
I would suggest this thing to him, to seek professional help. He is already turning into a very bitter person, if he doesn't get solace or love things would be even tougher for him.
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
18 Nov 09
If he is unwlling to seek professional advice then perhaps a religious leader thst he knows? That is of course, if he attends religious services or has any faith.
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Well he is actively involved in a religious group, and he goes to attend it. It is called a "satsang" in Hindi. Well, i really don't know how reliable is the teacher there. Actually he even got married through the teacher's recommendation, so I believe he carries a grudge aginst her (the teacher) too.
Thabk you so much for your thoughts, my dearest friend.
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Yes Ravend, It is indeed not easy. But atleast we need to give it a try or else how can we judge how difficult it is.
@tundeemma (894)
• South Africa
18 Nov 09
sometimes i do feel lonely but in some cases i think it is ideal to be lonely, it makes me think better and free of distractions, i always try to stay to myself and just use the internet, though loneliness sometimes may be too bad but i do get used to it
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Hello both of you,
it is sad that you feel so lonely Tundemma, I suggest very humbly that try being more open and receptive towards others. Man really cannot live alone.
@Sweetchariot (1718)
• United States
20 Nov 09
Unfortunately we don't know what lies beneath the surface of anyone, what makes them who they are, what they do. He sounds like he was a very unhappy man when he had all that anger inside of him. There was probably a reason for that. As parents, we often 'reap what we sow", meaning our children often learn from us. So it is possible that something at home allowed him to develope that anger.
As a friend, maybe it is possible to sit with him and tell him exactly what you have told us, that you noticed his anger before and that he wasn't pleasant to be around. And now that he has had all these struggles in his life, people would like to help him or just be his friend, but they find it hard to warm up to him because of his past anger and rudeness that he displayed to everyone. Maybe you can have a heart to heart talk with him, and maybe find out that underneath that tuff exterior, he really is a man who is hurting and needs your help.
You sound like a very kind and compassionate man...
1 person likes this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
20 Nov 09
Hi Sweet,
Well how do I explain it. Ummmm.. I will try my best here. I am a kind of a person like I wouldn't openly say about something which I dislike or don't agree. i prefer to simply ignore the situation or the person. Now i have had suggested him to be more understanding towards others, and he really has changed a lot from what he used to be earlier. But mmm sometimes those spells do come back.
he is a very good individual sans doubte. he has helped me immensely when I was at my lowest. I was facing something real terrible and he stood by me. I shall be indebted forever.
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Nov 09
hi bodhi you are a very perceptive person and yes I think most of us at one time or another have that feeling of loneliness. we can even be lonely and be in a crowd of people. but if we have someone like a husband or wife,or sister, brother or a best friend we can share these feelings and some how they do blow away. I have a best friend with whom I can share everything. also I can share some of my feelings with my own adult son. these two help me while i am here in this retirement center . also I have a few friends here whom I can share a little too.
also I have found that with some of mylot friends I can weep on their shoulders and they do not turn me away. so cheer up.and you may weep on my shoulder anytime too. good luck, God bless.
1 person likes this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
18 Nov 09
Hi Hatley,
I thank you so much for your kind words, I am so grateful. Well, I have a brother with whom I can share a lot of things then there is a very close friend of mine who really stands by me through thick and thin.
Form today onwards, I have one more friend to share. Thanks again.
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
18 Nov 09
Hi bodhisatya, I stayed in hostels, and each year, it was not guaranteed that the person who was sharing my room would return for the next year. Therefore, I kind of developed an attitude, such that I didnt really get too deep in any relationship. I was afraid to lose and then cry. This same attitude continued, and today I the so called loneliness doesn't bother me. I am habituated to it. Do I want friends? I want them, but I think I use them to vent my feelings. Hopefully, I am equally good with them when they are venting theirs. Other than that, life is ok.
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Why do I feel a tinge of sadness in your voice my friend. Well, pardon me if i sound rude, but this is no excuse to make freinds, since you would be having a new room partner. Still the students would be there in the school even if you wouldn't be sharing the same room. I believe that someone it could be anybody your parents, relatives, freinds or anyone is important to listen to you and in turn you listen to them.
Be open to others people will accept you just the way as you are! Have a Great day ahead.
Bodhi
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
18 Nov 09
i never came accross such kinda friends even if i had then i would stand by them nd try to explain him tat he got to be patient nd show him the losses he met because of his imtemperment so tat he can realize.i think u must help him out rather than looking at his impatience.gud day.
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
19 Nov 09
Well Sunny, I think I am helping him as per my ways and means otherwise I wouldn't even have started this discussion if he wasn't there in my thoughts.
You have a great day too.
@DarkMarixx (331)
• Philippines
18 Nov 09
There's something wrong on how he think. Maybe it's an inborn sickness. If he's a smart or a genius, madness is with him. For me, there's no element of being a smart guy without madness.
1 person likes this
@mcongy (47)
• China
18 Nov 09
hi,there!actually sometimes i do feel lonely,especially when i am not understood by my parents and good friends.you know what?i realy feel so desperate that i would lose my temper.but after calming down,i will rethink profoundly.this makes me know we are unique and our thoughts are not all the same,so it is a common question that people diagree with you.now when i meet such thing like that,i become patient and will try to find a way to work out.so now i feel better than before!
a saying goes,when we dont change the environment,we can try to change ourselves to addapt to the society better!^_^
1 person likes this
@bodhisatya (2384)
• India
18 Nov 09
You surely have got a point there my friend. We have to adapt and accept the things hurled on to us.
Bodhi
