Will you help your ailing father even when he left you when you were a toddler .  

I will visit him. I'm a compassionate person, though I have to admit that's one of my weaknesses...
Let him have a contented departure from the living...You'll never know how happy he'll be. But the questions are: would he want to see you? What about his wife's reaction?

I might still help him in spite of what happened. But that would depend if he's sorry for what he has done to us and he's accepting that was his fault. I mean how would he expect us to be forgiving if he's not recognizing his shortcomings to us.

It depends on my situation mostly. If he is really sorry for what he did to me then maybe I'd forgive him. If I didn't go through to Life's countless misery due to my status then still maybe I'll forgive him. He should be the one to confront me first not that I to him.

I would help my father especially he suffering an ailment as to what capacity I have, because father is only one in our life and we can't replace him. Any reasons behind leaving a family and find another as long as he back he remembered what he has before it end maybe. If we can care another why we don't care our own father. We must be considerate another feelings before anything happens.

hello tigerlily,

we can help other people, why not our own father right? well anyway, somehow its difficult specially if you have some anger within yourself, i guess if he ask for forgiveness, i can forgive him...no matter what.
this discussion reminds me of someone i know, her husband abandoned her & their kids. he lives with different women for a long year. of course the wife hates him for what he has done...but one day the husband comes back and he's really sick, got a stroke and has got other illness, so he needs to be taken care of...it amaze me that even how much the wife feel bad, she still took care of him as well as their children...they took care of their father until his last day in this world...and their father, ask for never ending forgiveness to his children & to his wife, and leave all what he have, like the pensions & everything to his original family...

I've not experienced that. But if it happened to me i guess i can find a way to forgive him. Forgiveness can only go to an extent so i don't really know how forgiving i am cuz time can make you forgive. I can't hold a grudge that long so after a long time i guess i can forgive and forget.

I think that would really be hard for me to accept him back since you grew up not seeing him around. I think when a person is absent your relationship with him would also die away.

Well after many years and him trying to reach out maybe it is just prudent to see him and get to know him about what happened why he left you long time ago. helping him might also be a good idea but I think you should limit it at that point. I guess he needs to express his heartfelt sorry for leaving you all behind after all these years.

I had a very loving father who raised me, but my MOTHER left me when I was very little, and has not been part of my life. I tried to include her when my son was born because he is her grandson, but she didn't act interested.

I'm not sure I would want to take care of her if she showed up and needed me. I'm just vindictive enough that I might tell her to go get help from whoever she was with when she WASN'T a part of my life.

hells no!

Of course I would be very upset. I would let him know how I felt about what he did. But its difficult to say. Sometimes when people are at their worsts they go to the only last people left and realise who is most important in their lives. Sometimes its too late. And sometimes people never change. But on some occasions people have a tottaly life changing experiece which could change them for the better. But its always good to forgive someone if they truely are really sorry and the acknowledge what they did it the past that was wrong