Parenting teens
By karen1969
@karen1969 (1779)
May 17, 2010 1:52pm CST
I am 40 and the mother of 4 kids who are all teenagers now. As they are growing up and becoming more and more independent, I feel proud yet also a sense of loss as they don't need me so much anymore. Sometimes I feel I want to have another baby, but my husband doesn't want to, as he appreciates our growing independence and that we can now go out more as a couple. I guess I will have to wait for grandchildren to come in the next few years! I am looking forward to that stage. So when your kids grow up, how do you cope without little ones needing you all the time?
4 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
I am looking forward to that stage. My oldest is 13 now.. but my youngest is still 2. 2 isn't a fun age.. he's into everything, making messes, throwing tantrums.. I'm worn out before the day is done! Plus it's so hard to afford to do anything, and the things we can think to do aren't good for all the kids. We can go swimming but the younger 2 are too small for the pool and we won't have fun if we have to hold them the whole time. Playgrounds are great for the younger ones, but boring for the older ones... it's just so hard.
Plus like your husband, I'd like to be able to have a little more freedom. Go out when I want to.. even just run to the store without having to load 5 kids in the car just to grab some milk.. you know.
Maybe I'll feel different when I get there, but right now I am looking forward to the days when my kids don't need me so much anymore.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
18 May 10
One thing is for certain... I do not miss the baby stage! The up all nights, the constant feedings, washing bottles and changing diapers (though the youngest still isn't potty trained so I'm still changing diapers).. don't miss it for a second!
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1779)
•
19 May 10
The funny thing is, I do miss some of that - though not the sleepless nights! I miss the weaning stage especially, that was fun (if messy at times). Still, I guess it won't be too long til we have grandkids around as my eldest will be 20 this year.
@karen1969 (1779)
•
18 May 10
I think we find the stage we are currently going through to be the hardest stage, so as a mum of teens I long to go back to having babies and toddlers, while you are the opposite! :-)
Of course there are good and bad things about all ages. I can understand you wanting more freedom and for your 2 year old to be less needy and dependant on you. It is awkward having kids at different ages too, like you said, as they all like different things and it is hard to find the perfect family day out.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
19 May 10
Enjoy your time, the grandkids will not be far behind. I find it harder giving the teens the freedom they want and need. I don't want to let go. I have a son that is 15 and has cerebral palsy. He will always need me and be a child at heart. I long for some freedom and time with my husband.
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1779)
•
19 May 10
I can understand that completely. My youngest (14) has Aspergers and ADHD so is quite a bit "younger" than her peers, so I guess she will be living with us for longer. I'm sure you do a wonderful job with your son.
@cher913 (25781)
• Canada
17 May 10
i know what you mean. my baby turned 13 in march and our oldest daughter turned 17 this past week. the time sure seems to fly by. now that they are older, i have developed hobbies that i couldnt do when they were little (paper mache, etc) and read a lot more than i did, so thats fun.
@karen1969 (1779)
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17 May 10
Mine are 14, 17, 18 & 19. I agree about hobbies. We are going out to the theatre more & even on weekends away without the kids, as the older 3 are fine here by themselves & the 14 year old stays at her grandma's.
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
18 May 10
I've been where you are...I raised 4...my youngest is 19. You're in a transition period in your life...in your family's life...and while there is some sadness, it is as your husband has said, a time for change that can be exciting and fun! The hardest part for me was changing the way that I talked to my kids...suggesting instead of instructing. Giving them more freedom and trusting them more. And, yes, when grandchildren come that is a completely new joy! Enjoy your new free time, enjoy watching your children take their various steps into adulthood. Before you know it, your grandchildren will be growing up too fast too. 
@karen1969 (1779)
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18 May 10
Thanks for your welcome words of wisdom! Amongst my friends, I am the one whose children are the oldest really, so I'm the first to go through this stage.
