is it right to hate my father?  

Give your father a chance dear. I grew up also with my mom without any support from my father even financially. We are the second family but we are the legitimate in the eyes of law. They leave us when I was six and when my mom was 2mos pregnant with my youngest sister. I want to hate my father, because of him, my mom felt all the pains and heartache. My mom stand for her three kids, all alone financially & emotionally. But I still love my dad, I can't find hate in my heart. I will never be here without him. Just forgive and forget. My dad is kind and I still love him so much.. He died but I never saw his last day because he is with his family.. Sad!

Yes, you do have all the right to hate him. My grandfather has a similar story are yours. He was very successful, a very good husband, etc. but when he became overly rich, he started womanizing. After a while, the money dwindled and my father and his siblings didn't have money for school so started asking for donations from the relatives while he (my grandfather) supported the family of his mistress and they all finished their schooling.

In the end, prior to his death, he came over and asked if he could stay with us (because he didn't have money anymore), my father told him he could live with us, and could even choose a day and all his earnings (my father) for that day would be given to my grandfather PROVIDED that he leave the mistress and come back wholeheartedly to his original family - he left and died poor as a pauper on a rocking chair and the mistress called us to take care of the body.

This situation has bothered me greatly over the years of my youth. I was traumatized to the point of even wondering if there would be such a man who would not cheat. I was so afraid of people cheating and thought that all men were worthless. Until I had a talk to one of the seminarians studying to be priests in our recollections, he simply told me - You don't hate the man, you hate his mistakes.

The man has many mistakes in his life. Your father has done you a great deal of pain, my grandfather has done my father and his family a great deal of pain. But we should remember that one point in his life there was love for us. He may never change, neither could we bring back that father - but we should remember that this man had some good but was overcome by something else.

So, hate the mistake, not the man.

Easier said than done.

Life isn't fair. You may have many reasons to resent the way your father behaved but you shouldn't hate him. Look at the fact that he very clearly had a gambling addiction. It's normal to look back on our childhoods and wish that some things or many things could have been different or better. But ask yourself this, DO you like yourself? If the answer is yes, then you learned from your childhood and you can do better. At least your father says he regreted his actions which is alot more than many kids get. Holding hatred for anyone in your heart really only hurts you so try to forgive him for his addiction and mistakes.

While I am reading your post, I know you did not sound emotional. I think you have the right to exercise your rights what you think deemed proper. Hating him if that will set you best, that is no problem. My father used to be a drunkard and he use to stir, scare and beat us when he is drunk. Being young those days, I couldn't do anything but cry. Same my mom she couldn't do anything because she is afraid. When my big brother came home from Saudi, without second thought he put him in the jail. The words that I will never forget from my big brother's tongue is, A Father like that must not be treated but prevented. Although my mom, bailed my father out from the jail, we never heard his confesions. Instead, he's always telling us that without him, we will not be able to see the world so we must be thankful to him... I will just do what I think best for my father and I will let God do the rest..

hate is such a strong word...my situation may not be similar to yours because i got it worse than you. what i mean is, my dad turns violent whenever he drank. he doesn't abuse us physically, but he does abuse us verbally. i remember a lot of times when we have to hide from my dad's anger. it would explode anytime. it's like walking on eggshells everytime he's around. as we have gotten older, i realized that, i can't hate my old man. he IS after all my father. and he provided for us no matter how poor or destitute we were at that time.i look at him,observe him and see how old he's gotten.and you know what i felt? that no matter how hard we was with us before, i certainly CAN NOT hate my old man.i actually felt the contrary.instead of hating him, i felt he needed my protection. that he needs me like i needed him to provide for us before. thats why i do it. in small ways.forgiveness...forgive your old man and try to mend things with him.it's hard, i know.but it doesn't hurt to try.he IS, after all, your FATHER

everyone always crave a harmonious household and loving. husband and wife couple who yearn to be harmonious, parents expect their children dutiful and useful, and the kids expect affection, guidance, example and happiness. roles and responsibilities of each member in a house has been arranged. A father acts as a head of household and is responsible for providing a living for his wife and children in the form of food, clothing and shelter. besides dad duty is to educate children and guide them. While the mother, a role serving the father, and housekeeping, and help fathers in educating their children. our children are obliged to devote to both parents.
If this is your father has abandoned the family by not providing a living, then it is a mistake your father and your father's sins, your mother and family may demand it, because it is the responsibility of your father.
I am very concerned with your situation and your mother, but no amount of mistakes and sins of your father, your father is the legal parent, for you and your brothers. better your hatred and resentment is not against your father, but in deed and attitude of your father, who ignored the family.

hi there! i think you have some serious issues here. it is ok to be angry but in your anger don't sin, meaning don't hate. we can be angry about the evil things that is happening around us but we can't put the law in our hands and just kill those bad people. what i can advice you is to first forgive your dad. it may be difficult but it is the first step and you can't do shortcuts with it. it you can communicate, the better. next, you go to God in prayer and talk to God just like what you wrote about your dad. don't memorize prayers, communicate because God wants to relate with us. You take care!

its never a good option to hate ur father....coz any moment u will realise that suddenly u need him the most!!yea ur father has some bad habits..y dont u do something to change him..theres no harm in loving ur mother but dont hate ur father

is he trying to be part of your family again? if not, then just accept what he said and wish him well. it seems you don't need any financial support from him anymore right?

it took him 3 families to get his head straight. i think it's also because he's getting older and knows he'll eventually stop working and get the usual sickness seniors get that requires constant care and maintenance medications.

i think the reason he supported his wife's education is for her to get a good job so that she'll take care of him. he has to make it right this time around because he knows there's little chance you or his 2nd family will help him in the future.

yes, it's easier said than done but moving on is the better option.

yes, you have enough reason to hate a father like that. but, I think, you must keep being nice to him because whatever your reason, he still be your parents