Things are getting back to normal - if there is such a thing...
By ElicBxn
@ElicBxn (64172)
United States
May 29, 2012 6:11pm CST
So, Saturday, the totally blind roommate came home from the rehab place. Today is the first day the roomie is back at work.
Hopefully this is a return to normal for around the house.
I took the totally blind roommate to the bank to get May's rent and then took her with me to deposit in the savings at my credit union.
Tomorrow, just to throw everything out of "normal" the roomie and I go to the dentist!
On the 1st, the roomie is going to another PT to see what they say - the jerk she had gone to was some kind of weirdo who apparently the doctor's office didn't like (they shouldn't have included him on their list!)
The 7th she goes to see if the doc is going to release her yet.
So...
Tonight the blind roommate said from the kitchen "Wow, I'm full," a couple of times.
I had finished eating my dinner and went in to put my bowl in the sink.
I casually said: "If your full, stop eating."
She replied. "Yeah, you're right." Long pause. "Is there some plastic wrap?"
I said: "Yes."
Another pause.
"Where would the plastic wrap be?" I asked.
"Under the microwave," she replied after a moment.
"The cats aren't going to be interested in that," I mentioned, meaning her food.
I walked away... Now, my shoes are silent, so I went in and said something to the roomie, then came back in, told the cats to get out of my way and went back into the front room.
There was another long pause, and I guess she figured out I wasn't going to get it for her (DUH!) and finally got up and got it herself.
Time for her to start taking care of herself again - there are no maids here!
What do you think? Am I mean or just looking out for my self interest?
6 people like this
12 responses
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
30 May 12
Or you are looking out for the interest of the blind roommate, to remind her that she needs to be as self-reliant as possible.
@GardenGerty (169538)
• United States
30 May 12
I will need to go look at your old discussions, because obviously I missed something somewhere. I knew V had fallen and injured both arms/wrists. I did not know D had gone to rehab for something. How did I go wrong? No, you are not mean, you have plenty to do to take care of the cats without having to take complete care of all of your roommates. If she is able to do things, she should be doing them.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
30 May 12
I don't know if I mentioned it actually... Then again, I don't know that I've been posting that many discussions...
It was actually quite nice not having her here - sad isn't it? But we had already had a number of fights about her doing stuff for herself before she went to the hospital.
AND... I agree, she should be doing things.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169538)
• United States
31 May 12
I did not find a post about it, so why did she go, and how long was she gone? I sure hope things get better as far as her independence goes.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
31 May 12
She failed to tell ANYONE, including her doctor, that she had a hernia. Then it got strangulated...
They had to do surgery, (and you can bet she was complaining that they weren't letting her eat or drink anything!)
Then, because the roomie had broken her arms, she suggested they put her someplace like a rehab place because we wouldn't be able to help her if she came home.
So, the roomie fell on April 18th. The hernia happened early in the morning on April 20th. So, she was gone for the better part of 6 weeks.
So far, no fights... but I gave her a break on the cat boxes today because it was the first Wednesday she was home.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
30 May 12
Not mean at all. I am almost blind myself, and can do almost everything for myself. I am not a very talented cook, but my husband, also almost blind, is a fantastic cook. Neither of us drive, so we rely on taxis and buses. Busses are free with our CNIB cards, and taxies are nice when we want to go off a bus route, since we don't have to pay for gas, maintainence, taxes, or insurance for a vehicle.
I attended a school for the blind for two years, and the people there learned how to be self reliant. I don't think you're being harsh at all, and if the Roomie thinks so, read this post to her, or gether some talking software, so she can listen to it, herself!
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
30 May 12
We've talked about an audio program, and some refresher courses on her mobility skills that she seemed to have partially forgotten since living with her mother for the last 12 years.
The roomie is also partially sighted, in fact, they met at a Lyon's camp for people with disabilities. They went to the Blind School together.
Its just that the roomie's folks expected her to take care of herself as much as she could and "D's" folks didn't.
Time to grow up - huh?
1 person likes this
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
30 May 12
it is good you are making her do things that she can do, otherwise she would become too dependent on others.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
30 May 12
That's just the problem, her family did let her off from doing things because it was easier to do them themselves and not fight about it.
Well, we've told her that we aren't going to fight about it, and she's going to have to do those things she can do herself!
@AmbiePam (121059)
• United States
30 May 12
If she used to do things like that herself before she came back, and she is more than capable of doing it now, then I don't think you're being mean. I mean if it was too hard for her I think you would have helped her out and done it for her. But she just sounds out of habit of being on her own again.
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
30 May 12
She WANTS to be waited on, but that's not happening in MY house! Sure, the roomie will fix a meal at night, but if she doesn't like it, then she'll have to find something else to eat (like I didn't like what was for dinner tonight, but I had yummy leftovers!)
We've informed her that the house hold works because everyone manages for themselves, but if ANYONE is the boss and has final say its ME since its my house!
And at a little over $700 a month, she sure can't afford too many other places...
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169538)
• United States
31 May 12
Not with everything that is included, like food and cooperative sharing of duties, and rides to places. My son often comments that he gets an excellent deal on what we do for him.
1 person likes this
@Kashmeresmycat (6369)
• United States
1 Jun 12
Good grief, I didn't realize you were going through all this with your roommate! That sounds pretty rough for you and I wouldn't be happy either. Just what you need is someone to wait on, no thanks.
I know you wouldn't make her do anything she couldn't do and would help her in any way possible, but this type of stuff isn't going to work at all. I think you're doing the right thing and she needs to be a bit more independent and not rely on everyone around.
Wishing you luck and I hope it all works out. Keep your blood pressure down girlfriend. 
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
30 May 12
Glad shes back home. But you and I have the same issue your roomie thinks you are the maid and so do my kids. Though I think your roomie will be easier to pick up on doing things for themselves. I keep telling them that they need to learn to help, cause otherwise when they decide to move out when they are grown they will have to pay for a maid or go to a nursing home *LOL* Even the simplest things they can't be bothered with. but boy keeping track for 3 kids and 2 adults and all the pets left alone to me is a disaster so they need to pith in.
@GreenMoo (11833)
•
30 May 12
If you'd been standing next to the microwave then it would have been nice to pass it to her, but if not then I don't think you're mean to require her to start looking out for herself. You're not always going to be there to fetch and carry for her after all.
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
31 May 12
Being blind doesn't mean you can't do alot of things yourself! You blind roommate needs to do more things for herself. You did the right thing! She won't be happy for awhile but I think she will get over it!
1 person likes this
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
31 May 12
I don't think you were being mean at all. She should start doing stuff for herself, especially if she was in rehab because of some weakness or something. Doing things will make her stronger, and make her feel better about herself also. There won't always be someone around to wait on her, so se has to do things for herself. So in a way you are doing her a favor. I know there is a lot of things that she won't be able to do, but wrapping her food isn't one of them and I'm sure you wouldn't expect something she's not capable of.
@ElicBxn (64172)
• United States
31 May 12
I totally agree that I wouldn't expect her to do something that would be hard for her. But wrapping her food... yeah, she could do that.
She was in rehab because she had to have surgery on a strangulated hernia - that she hadn't BOTHERED to tell anyone she had - the hernia I mean.
She had a lady here yesterday that told her she needed to braille (feel her way around) at least until she knew where everything was.
She asked her why she didn't do it.
D replied that "I think it makes me look confident."
To which the lady replied "No, and it increases your chances of falling!" So, that seemed to have gotten through a bit!
