Relationship Semantics   

I can understand your frustration in this relationship, because you and your girlfriend obviously have differences in how you communicate. You may not mean anything malicious or hurtful when you make a comment, whatever it is- that's just the way you are. If someone said "go to hell" to you, it may not have an impact or any meaning to you. But you have to understand that some people take things more seriously and literally than others, and your girlfriend seems to be one of them. Neither one of you is right or wrong. I suspect that she might tend to read a lot into conversations and maybe she is someone who analyzes everything that is said. If that is so, and you are the opposite, then you may have a real problem due to different personalities and communication styles. The fact that you fight often is a sign of that, I would think.

Personally, I would resent my boyfriend telling me to "go to hell", no matter how I interpreted it. That is a condescending remark, and it would give me the impression that my opinions were not important to you and that I was being dismissed. Try talking and communicating with her about this, in a mature and respectful manner.

Your girlfriend might be more sensible than others, and those words hurt her more than they would another person. Before saying those words, try talking. Yelling or calling each other names will never work out, even thought the fights resolve, they will always come back. Me and my husband have never had a serious fight since we are together (4 1/2 yrs)because we communicate well. We don't scream at each other or call each other names. When i see he gets too agitaded and that fight might emerge if i answer back, i wait a bit, let him cool off, and then talk about it. I must admit, i have a very smooth temper and a lot of my friends ask how the hell i do it to remain calm and not fight. I don't really know, maybe because my parents always used to fight (scream, call each other names) and ended up divorcing, so i tell myself by avoiding the fights we will be safe? I don't know, but one thing's for sure, talking will always be better than saying mean things and yelling. At least, if you let her cool off, when you talk to her about it after, you'll have time to think about what you'll tell her, and not scream things you didn't mean. Good luck!

just as simple,if you want your relationships last,just be patient,remember: always respect and love your partner to have a lasting relationship!

I do agree that "go to hell" was a bit harsh (and I don't even believe in hell!). While I can understand her being upset, I don't really think it should be to the point where she thinks you actually want her to be harmed in some way.

When I say or hear the phrase "go to hell" it registers in my mind simply as "get out of my face" "don't talk to me" "leave me alone." It never goes beyond that.

I'm a woman, by the way.

Well, if it bothers your partner so much, you better stop and use some other phrase or sentence to make her understand what you mean. Being a woman I can understand your partner's stand and having a husband who doesn't see why I shouldn't take everything he says (especially stuff like 'Go to hell'), I understand your stand. But frankly, it does affect most women (if not all). You know that's how she takes it...so try out something else. I wish my husband would do that and I'd be the happiest person in the world (with all our fights included)

I give you guys credit. Women are probably the hardest people to deal with and I am one of them. One my husband and I fight I also do that. I guess we are so use to reading between the lines. Were as men are more straight forward and don't really mean anything more than what they said. We tend to add more to things than what you really ment. In the end we realize you didn't actually mean that. If you truly love the person you are with. Communication is very important when you aren't fighting and letting yourself calm down while fighting is the best. We don't fight fair. Remember that and what ever comes out of your mouth my truly get you in trouble even if you didn't mean it that way. Also remember things forever. Good luck

Communication is one of the main ingredients of longer lasting relationships... maybe you should talk directly to your girl about these problems. Open communication is recommend...

You two sound like your to immature for each other. Judging by this post, you are to young to be in a relationship. You two should be just dating. You, as a matter of fact should be dating lots of girls and don't worry about connecting with girl. Gain more experience, confidence and girls will fock to you.

well if you are in an argument, whether you mean it or not it will come so negative that it will start a new fight. why not chose a different phrase or something that will not be taken literaly. girls are emotional, she probably know that you dont mean "drop dead" but if you can say bad things to her she would think what else can he do to me? what else would he say next? it hurts... that you have to understand...

You have to control your emotions, practice yoga or meditate so that you can control your mind and anger. You will behave the way have been, so try to change the behavior, be patient, be kind to people.