Help! I need advice!   

Well did they knwo about it? And my advice for when you go to work is just act normall... Like nothing is going on. Someone might think your acting strange and ask yuo whats wrong... Its happend to me before!

Your freind,

M0thakap0p

Never mind them. Just do what you have to do. Always remember that you control your life. I know you are sensitive from lots of this. Consider the what happend to you, its very hard to go back after the saddess thing happend to your life. Never mind people around that dont care. At the end of the days its always you that you can count on. Help yourself. Dont pity yourself coz if you pity yourself you'll be weak. You must fight and survive matter what.

First of all, there's no need to put pressure on yourself. If you're angry, it's okay to be so....and to help you through the anger, maybe it would be a good idea to get counseling. I'm not trying to stick up for your co-workers, but maybe they heard the news about the stillbirth and weren't sure how to react to it. When something bad happens to someone, people are often unsure about how to treat them. Some people want to talk about their difficulties, and others just want to be left alone so that they can work through them on their own. People know that, and sometimes they make the wrong decision about how the other person would feel comfortable with them acting.

It sounds like you're still really angry about this, and that's totally okay. Nobody should be expecting you to just buckle down and go back to things as if nothing had happened. I'm really sorry that you lost your little girl, but it's too early to know how your co-workers will react to your coming back. If you don't feel like being talkative and friendly, that's fine. I am sure they will give you the space you need to heal.

Response of every person to a sad event is different, some people do not like to remind of you the misery you have undergone so they just leave the topic aloof. Somehow if I am grieving for some cause, I prefer those who keep it silent as getting a card for the misery is revisiting the unfortunate event. But anyway that is your personal choice.

You poor thing you must be feeling sick to your stomoch about going back it is rather rude of your boss to have expected you to come back early because of your miss fortune but he is male some just don't understand... I think you should have looked for another job but I know may be very hard for you though...

I'm sure you will feel unsettled and people will be treading carefully around you. I went back to work after having my 1st son and some parents(as I work in Child care) we're afraid to ask about my child as they were afraid I may have had a still born and I could tell they were a little afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Be strong and try not to let things get to you. It will be hard but you will survive.. I'm sorry to hear of your loss and I hope that your wounds heal, best of Luck with returning to work :) *Hugs*

That is hard. I would just focus on your work..and don't let this bother you too much. It is a shame that no one acknowledged your pain..but sometime life is like that. Your boss sounds like a real prize too....

That must be so hurtful! The sad thing is so many people don't understand the pain that comes with miscarriage and still birth, often the attitude is you never had any time to really bond and love the baby. In reality though it is almost more painful because you missed the chance to experience life with the baby.

My guess would be that you are never going to be truly comfortable there again, so I would go to work and do my job. But on the side I would so be looking for a new job with different people. You spend so much time at work that it needs to be as positive of environment as it can be. This place is going to drag you down because this pain is going to be in the back of your mind.

This is so sad and my heart goes out to you for the loss of your baby. I am sure it is extremely hard for you and your husband.

Now let's talk about the sympathy card from work. It was extremely nice that people thought to send you a sympathy card. But this is something people do because they want to do it. Your current employer and co-workers are under no obligation to sent you a sympathy card or anything for that matter. The fact that you are nice enough to sign cards for other people, just shows you are a nice person who cares about others. You are already traumatized by the death of your child. Being angry people didn't give you a sympathy card is a waste of time. Just be positive and if you feel uncomfortable there. Look for another job.

Anakata, I understand how you feel. I would feel anxious about returning to work under the circumstances, but I believe you have a strength of character that can not only overcome, but also one that can be an example to others.

YOU are the master of your personality. YOU can make the day a positive experience. Tell yourself that no matter what happens to you, you will remain cool, calm and peaceful in yourself and towards others.

Try to understand how other people feel. I know of several people whose husbands died and they found that suddenly friends were avoiding them. It wasn't because they didn't want to be friends, but because they were unsure of themselves. They didn't know what to say or how to act, so they avoided having contact.

The same is probably true of your workmates. If you behave naturally and friendly towards them, the ice will be broken, and it won't be long before things return to normal. If you remain aloof, they will be too embarrassed and frightened, and they will avoid you.

So, Anakata, I know it will be difficult, but smile, be friendly, be at peace and everything will work out well at work.

Don't wory about them. It happens though it's a shame that workplace that you have done your good job does not really care with employer. Just do as you normally do. maybe this can be a start too when somebody gets married or dies, you can initiate to give cards, buy flower, so people in your work know that there's something they should do when someone getting married, having a baby or dying.