My daughter screams for everything she wants PLEASE HELP

My boy was like that and I can empathise with you as it is really a hair pulling out scream. Unfortunately I just gave in, because I couldn't stand it, I did do one thing occasionally if I was able tot tolerate it, I would ignore it and repeatedly say to him at intervals, i will not do anything until you quieten down,, it worked occasionally. But my neighbours must of thought I was doing him serious harm, the noise he made, I was so embarressed once, when a neighbour knocked on the door and asked if everything was ok, they soon understood when I said, that my son was screaming because I would not give him another crayon to draw on the walls with.

It's pretty easy for us to sit here and tell you what you should do when we don't have to endure the screaming, which I'm sure is nerve-wracking and stressful. But...here goes. I believe that the more you give in to her screams, the more she'll do it because she knows she'll get what she wants. You have to start ignoring her screams, for as long as it takes. It will be harder on you than on her, for sure, but parenting isn't easy. This is the only way she will learn that she will get your attention sooner when she asks for something in a reasonable tone. Also, make sure you are giving her lots of positive reinforcement for the things she does right. When she does ask for something in a nice, polite, reasonalbe tone, go overboard praising her. Don't give her attention when she screams. She must learn that this is not the way to get what she wants NOW or it will only get worse with time.

Good luck Mom! You're going to need lots of patience on this one!

Oh dear:( and she's worked out that the more I scream and the louder I scream the more likely I am to get what I want.

Hmmm she is a little young for time out but then if she has worked out that a) screaming gets b) what I want

Then perhaps you could try a minutes time out.

It seems you are in a vicious circle hun and you need to break that pattern.

Okay so if this was my child here is what I would do.
1) screaming in the house to get what she wants.

solution= ignore her.

2) Screaming outside to get what she wants.

solution= distract her.

If you yell back at her, scream at her or slam something down "Here Have It!" you are teaching her that's acceptable to scream.

As I said this is a very difficult habit to break and I am no behaviour expert but I was a childrens nurse and I studied psychology.

Stop this behaviour now before it escalates.

The time out thing.
Apparently you take hold of the child, sit them down on a rug, arms folded and you hold them there for 1 minute
The equation is
1 minutes for each year

So a 17 month old could be held for just over a minute.

The method of holding them is safer than putting them in a room alone and not knowing what they are getting up to.

Just one minute on the rug. "Time Out!" and after a while you can just say NO and if she starts to scream say in a firm voice "Time Out!"
You must carry it out though, even if the screaming stops, you must make her see that its not acceptable to scream.

Hope this helps Bright Blessings lots of HUGS and hopefully lots of parental advice from other myloters will follow.

My first reaction would be a swift swat on the butt or thigh when she starts the racket with a firm "no!".

My second reaction....a swift swat on the thigh with a louder "mo!"

There is no excuse to allow this to happen more than a couple of times before she gets a physical reminder that his is no acceptable The swat will not hurt her, will break her concentration, and give her an unpleasant result that she will be very careful to avoid. If you are consistent she should be cured of the habit in less than 4 days.

You could also try putting her in her crib and leaving the room until she calms down. I hate using the bed as a punishment, but if all else fails... It will also give you a break to walk away and calm down before you have to deal with her again. It is a viscious cycle to break and what works for one child won't necessarily work for another. The main thing is not to give into demands if they are not nicely put. At seventeen months she probably can't tell you want she wants by talking but she should be able to gesture without screaming. You might bring it up with her pediatrician as well for a doctor's opinion or parents as teachers.

Pretend you have no idea what she wants. Her screaming works because you take notice and she gets what she wants. She is learning that a scream tells you she wants it and she wants it now.
I would invest in a pair of ear plugs.
When she starts to scream,put them in and carry on with whatever you were doing.
When the noise stops,take them out.You probably know what she wants and can get her to ask properly or explain why it isnt possible. At 17 months she can understand an awful lot more than she can verbalise so do listen when she tries to say things and maybe help her to verbalise them.
EG have you had enough pudding now? or you want to get out of the pushchair but the road is very busy with cars.I dont want you to get squashed by a car.

it's called attention. she knows how to get it and that's what she does. you need to ignore her when she does this no matter how long it goes on, if you are in public you may have to return home or atleast sit in the car and tell her that you are not going back until she stops screaming. don't let her have everything she wants, but do reward her for when she behaves well. atleast thats what i do with my son and he is just an angel in public, except for when he is tired then he is fussy but he never screams cause he wants something.

Only thing I can say is do what my mom told me to do. When she starts screaming, scream along with her. She will be so shocked to hear you screaming that she will stop screaming. Don't get louder than her, just make the most funny scream you can think of. Also you can jump up and down and say you want something also, lol. Now if your out in public, don't do that, lol. Just do something to distract her. Let's say your in the supermarket, and she starts throwing a fit over some candy or something you wouldn't even feed your dog. You can distract her by saying something like let's see how fast we can get from one end of the isle to the other. You really don't have to go really fast, lol, just enough that she will take her mind off of whatever she wants. If your in the mall, try not to take her to an area that you know she will have a meltdown. Don't go out when she's tired or hungry, nobody is in a good mood when that happens. Normally screaming along with her and acting silly will cause her to stop and laugh at you.

At that age, you basically have to be one step ahead of them. Also at home when she starts you can also turn the music up and dance with her. Just have to have a really good imagination. Also give her options, either you can have this or that, make sure its two of something you don't care for her to have. My husband thinks I'm weird for trying to wheel and deal with small kids, but it really doesn't matter because I win either way.

If all of this fails, you can always put her in her room, tell her she will be in time out for about how ever many of minutes you feel is best for the screaming. That she may be able to come out when she's able to calm down enough to stop screaming. Then you walk away to an area of the house where you can't hear the screaming at it's highest point and just count to ten. Don't forget to invest in a pair of ear plugs just in case.

Hopefully this will work. Plus the screaming will help release stress. Also forgot, you can turn the music up and dance. Dance the most silliest dance you can think of. Every kid loves music and loves to dance.

Good Luck.

I realize i may not know what i'm talking about, seeing as though i have no kids, but i was always told not to give in. I realize it's embarressing, but if you give in they know how to get what they want. So they scream everytime.

I believe at 17 months, she is able to understand things you say to her. I am quite sure of this as my daughter understands most of the things I say to her at that age.
What you can do is that whenever she screams again to demand for things she wants, don't give in to her. Let her scream louder. She will give up soon and she will know that screaming doesn't work that effective anymore. You have to let her experience this for a couple of times so that everythime she screams, she will know that she won't get it anymore. After a few rounds, she will give up and not scream for things anymore. Then, that is the time we as parents must keep telling her that when she says "please", then only she will get the things she wanted.
You may want to try this out .....