Is it Destiny

@mayka123 (17083)
India
September 1, 2008 6:27am CST
Or is it our family background and circumstances that have influenced who we are? Or are we responsible for who we become?
4 people like this
17 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
1 Sep 08
i think we are influenced by our backgroud maybe sometimes for the good or for the bad but i think it's up to us to become what kind of person we are.
2 people like this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
Yes we are influences by our background. But the decisions that we make in life help us in becoming the kind of persons we are.
1 person likes this
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
1 Sep 08
destiny is what you get and what you loose in life at wht time due to which the circumstances prevail and which influences you , your life your decisions..but we as a person is due to our family. do u beleive in destiny...?
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
Yes I do believe in destiny. However hard I strive to achieve something I will get it only if I am destined to. God has destined something for us and he just guides us there. Sometimes we take that path but sometimes we go against his wishes and then circumstances change.
1 person likes this
@sang2k2 (1833)
• India
2 Sep 08
how true...thts really very right and we all have experienced it..that how much ever we put our efforts unless we ahve it wriiten in our destiny we wont get it...there are chances that iur efforts can go waste,
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
But if it is in our destiny and we do not work towards it we may loose it too.
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@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
2 Sep 08
I think it is the combination of all the factors. Our family background does play a role in shaping our destiny. If we belong to a well to do and respectable family, we are likely to get better jobs or business environment. Suppose if a person belongs to a family where most of the relatives or atleast mother and father are Doctors, the child may also become a medical professional, because since beginning he has been brought up in that atmoshpere. Unsual circumstances such as loss of any family member of some accident or mishap also become a factor in changing our destiny. Last but not the least, along with all other factors, we ourselves are equally responsible for our life - what we finally become. I have seen many of my friends who succeeded despite odd circumstances in their families. Such is the human tendency, if we succeed we give credit to ourselves and if we do not succeed, we blame other factors such as destiny or family cicumstances. Today what I am in my life, I myself is mainly responsible for the same. Excellent Post!
@dpk262006 (58679)
• Delhi, India
10 Sep 08
It appears that you have a different experience to share. I'll have to agree with you based on your personal experience that 'brining up' factor also plays a major role in deciding the fate and destiny of a person, like it happened in your case. Nice to know that you agreed with my notion that - 'what we are today, we are responsible ourselves for the same.'
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
10 Sep 08
I have been born in one family and brought up by another family. I am not at all like my parents or my brothers and sisters. In fact we are just poles apart and poeple find it difficult to believe that I am part of that family. I am more like the parents who adopted me. So for me more than the genes I have always thought that it is the ones who bring you up who mould you into what you are. And the decisions we make in our lives changes our destiny. I too have always felt that I am responsible for whatever I am today!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
12 Sep 08
The "bringing up" is the most important. If we are brought up by our parents we tend to be like them a lot. I have been visiting orphanages a lot and have observed the children there. Very often the younger ones are like the older kids who are with them constantly. Sometimes there are so many similarities that we sometimes think they are sisters.
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
2 Sep 08
Hi dear well in current situation all these things effect a lot , i mean where u born, ur family background, the area, culture and most important envioronment of your home, Ur school and teacher influenced u as well And i wont say that we are not responsible as what we are as Despite of FATE human being is given wisdom to select right and wrong path and his/her attitude towards life and fellow humans, its count as well So i would sau its Mixture of both Take care
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@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
3 Sep 08
Yeah u r right some traits are inherited my dear and they influence the life so its all the combination of all Wish u all the best
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
10 Sep 08
I dont know why I do not agree that traits are inherited.
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
For me the family that I was born in has not influenced me in any way because I had been adopted by a relative when I was just a few months old. But yes the environment in the home that I grew up in and the school and society has influenced me a lot. But I think it is the decisions that I have taken in life in the past that is responsible for my present and future.
1 person likes this
@shell94 (990)
• Canada
28 Sep 08
Alot is predetermined when we are born. BUT... I feel that we control it after we hit an age when we start making our own decisions and choices that influence our lives and the lives of those around us. There is always outside influences along the path as well. Whether they be friends, family, teachers, employers, the list goes on.
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
18 Oct 08
The outside influences does help a lot in our decisions and those are the major factors that assist us in making our choices in life. Thanks a lot for joining in this discussion. Have a great day.
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
7 Sep 08
As Ive learned in Sociology class, it is society thats what molds us on how we are. But I think it is our past or our history that makes us who we are. Sure I do agree that society does influence us on how we act like our family background, religion, culture among other factors. We have been raised and shaped by society from the moment we were born and it actually dictates our actions in life. But we are also free to be deviant and not to conform to the pressures of society but this deviance has stemmed from what society expects of us and so society kinda still dictates how we act even if its not what it wants. No matter what society dictates us, there are still choices and I think these choices separates us from everybody else. It is our individuality in a way makes us responsible for who we become. I sure hope that made sense somehow.LOL!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
17 Sep 08
Your reply has made a lot of sense. Finally we are responsible for what we are and who we become.
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
17 Sep 08
yeah, nice to know my post did make sense.LOL Thanks!^_^
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Sep 08
It's a combination of all the three. We come into this world and for a large portion of early life ,our path and future get determined by our family and circumstances. At some point we start taking decisions and making choices which then set our future. These may be done conciously or unconciously. This is my belief.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
[b][/b]If life gives us rocks, dont sit back and blame life for that At ever turn of our life it gives us a choice which we fail to recognize So when life gives us rocks its still our choice whether to build a wall or to build a bridge[b][/b] I think these words would describe what I feel about destiny. It our decisions and our choices out of what life gives us that determines our future.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16556)
• India
9 Sep 08
i do not beleive in destiny.though i know that lord knows our future.it is upto me to make it or mar it.i think our genes are quite responsibile of the functioning of the body.
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
9 Sep 08
I do not know much about genes because I have never lived with my biological parents and I am not at all like them in any way.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Sep 08
I think its ultimately our destiny that determines our future course of action in life. Take the example of so many rags to riches stories. I believe that these people who make it big in life in terms of business inspite of being born in poor families, have business somewhere in there genes….its their destiny that they are born into a family which was good in business and this person has inherited that genes. And then there are others who are born with the golden spoon but cant keep it…its their destiny that their parents were such that they did not teach that person the proper value of money and property. Destiny plays a big part…yes I definitely believe so.
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
8 Sep 08
I do not much believe in genes because I was an adopted child and have not inhereted anything from my biological parents. In fact I am so different from them that the people who know them find it difficult to believe that I am their daughter. I am a lot like my adopted parents and their family. That may be because I may have been imitating them a lot as I grew up!
1 person likes this
• Australia
12 Oct 08
I believe that there are 4 influences in our lives. God, Our family,Life and ourselfs. 1st God sent us down here with certain goals in mind He would like us to complete and has things in place to help us with those goals. 2nd Our family does have an influence on us such as how we are rasied and decsions we make based on their way of seeing and/or doing things. 3rd Life has it's own up's and downs that help shape us to who we become and who we are today. And the most important part of all. Our own free will. It is there for us to shape, control and use as our needs depend on it.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
1 Sep 08
I agree with alokn that it is a combination of all as well. Of course we are heavily influenced by our family background and other external factors but we ARE ultimately responsible for the decisions we make in life. Destiny can be controlled and influenced; FATE cannot so easily in my opinion. If anyone ever wishes to wonder why things in life seem to be the way they are for them at any given point in time then they should pick up a mirror and ask the question again!
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
2 Sep 08
I keep asking myself very often why things are the way they are for me. Probably I made some wrong decisions along the way. I have always been blaming myself for some of the things that went wrong in my life.
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@guybrush (4658)
• Australia
2 Sep 08
I certainly think we are influenced by our environment and the values and morals we are brought up with - but sometimes we consciously fight against some of the less attractive traits, I feel. I try to be a bit more social than the way I was brought up, and a bit more easy going.
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@mayka123 (17083)
• India
16 Sep 08
I think I was greatly influenced by my environment. Because I am not at all like my parents and brothers and sisters.
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@nini89 (670)
• India
6 Sep 08
Yes. we can say inthat way also that our family background is responsible for who we are now. Or we can say that the faith, from which all circumstances we have go through in life, that faith we cannot erase it. The things which we have to do and the responsibilities we have to carry on should be done by oneself. We cannot blame our family for that, the God himself had done everything. Have a nice day and happy mylotting.
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
6 Sep 08
I think we ourselves are responsible for what we are and what we become. There are times when we have taken wrong decisions in life and due to these wrong decisions circumstances change at times.
1 person likes this
@srikool (936)
• India
15 Oct 08
mostly our charcter based on our mom and dad..and our siblings..the environment only responsible for everything..if you want to shaoe you in a different one..you have see the world apart from your home and family members..you have to get differnt type of friends..we have to read lot of things about life..and we have to listent he old people words..in this condition we can make ourself..have a nice time
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
20 Sep 08
Mayka I would prioritise the following who have played important role in my life. 1. Family 2. My boss 3. Circumstance Family values have been there since forever and I learned the basics of life from my parents and grandparents. I imbibed their values almost unknowingly. It's a strong connection that I can't do without. I am privileged to have worked with a wonderful person. An ace cardiologist and a great soul. All through my career I have leanrt the way of the world, more practically from him. Lastly, the circumstances, I have been put into or shud I say I had chosen for myself is large;y responsible for all the pains and sufferings i my life. And guess what that has made me s much better person. Now I know what it takes to be a proper human. I am much better person now. Poised, at peace and patient. Thanks to my life. PS: I give little importance to destiny!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18441)
• India
8 Sep 08
To be politically correct, people would say that you make your own destiny. but its not always the case like this. there are times when so many things dependent are not in our hand. they are driven by some external force. may be something is contributed by family background and some by the luck
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8857)
• Singapore
15 Oct 08
mayka123, You can only change your destiny only if you change your mindset and initiate action accordingly to this altered mindset. Example: If you always believe that you are unloving, ugly, fat and such, you will always remain in that manner. You hold the power to change. Only you have the ability to change yourself. Talk is cheap - learn to exercise this freewill now. Have a nice day.
@mayka123 (17083)
• India
17 Oct 08
Yes it is mainly my thinking than can change my destiny. Thanks a lot for your reply. Have a great day.