are big difference of age gaps matters in relationships?

United States
November 13, 2008 5:51pm CST
We have seen a lot of couples who are having a really big age gap differences. I have many friends in their twenties who married men aging 50+ or even 60+. I even have a cousin who has a fiancee of 59 and she's 19. On the otherhand there are also younger guys who married older much older women. I have known a school principaql in one of the towns in our province who married a 27-yr old guy (her former student) and she was 53. Although this rarely happends, because mostly its the men who are mostly much older when it comes to age gaps, still sometimes people frowns on this. Does really age matters in relationships? Are there some effects if coluples are widely having big age difference? What's your view point on this?
2 people like this
14 responses
@narayan2006 (2954)
• India
14 Nov 08
A relationship is essentially a bond built between two persons based on common understanding,trust,love and commitment.As long as both the partners are prepared to live together happily,sharing their thoughts,ideas,love and other values of life,age should not pose any barrier for any relationship.However, emotional factors may occasionally create some strain,as a big gap in age is often associated with the deficiency in fulfilling biological and reproductive needs. Thanks.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 08
I agree with you, for as long as they are comfortable living w/ each other then no problem. But yes, at some point physical and biological aspects pose some threat in a big age gaps among couples.....and I guess this is most common if the woman is much older than the guy. There would be a big chance that soon he might be looking for somebody his age for physical satisfaction. The same is true with younger women who have older male partners (although this is not really very common as that w/ the former one). I have a friend who got married w/ her 37 years old husband. 15 years later she divorced him for a guy 3 yrs her junior. She told me she was no longer happy physically w/ him. Things like this really happends at times.
14 Nov 08
How to say, this rarely happens , but it exists. I know a younger man married an older woman, and a younger woman marries an older man. It seems that they live happily. I often see them go walking together, hand in hand. Maybe, if their hobbies are the same, age is no problem.
• China
14 Nov 08
For love relatioship, it relys on the love,trust,honest,habbit and so on. Age should not be the barrier.
@MIKEDC (207)
• China
14 Nov 08
i agree with you.it must be sth in common with them.so the age is not a big deal. for me.if the gap is not too many i can accept.actually my wife is elder than me. but barely two years
• United States
28 Nov 08
i am 43 and my husband is 59. Yes he is much older to me but i like it and i prefer older than younger or even the same age like me. I guessed age doesn't matter at all
• United States
29 Nov 08
I prefer much older guys too. My husband is just 3 years my senior but when I was still single I was always hoping to find a much older men like 10-15 years older than me. But I guess its not really w/ the ages, I guess its more on the maturity of both parties where they can be more comfortable in most aspects in relationship.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
14 Nov 08
While it can be said that traditionally men seem to be older than the women they marry. This served them both as he would supposedly be more financially secure and she more fecund because she is younger. These constraints do not necessary enter into modern relationships so the age difference can now vary. The large age difference affairs must fill some need in the participants at the time. There are some aberrations like Anna Nicole Smith and her decrepit billionaire husband, but I guess the old fool was happy someone younger was paying attention to him and she probably had an eye on his wealth.
• United States
14 Nov 08
well I guess what you cited are common scenarios w/ young women marrying a wealthy old man...and likewise w/ younger guys marrying wealthy and stable older women. it cannot reaaly be avoided that people will be talking negatively against them because its what always be the motive of those partnerships, although there are rare exemptions. Unless I guess the couple are really comitted and loved each other truely, the unions won't last for long.
@kunizzul (1066)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 08
I think age is doesn't really a big problem as its just a number. What is more important is the honesty of that relationship. If they love each other so that would be great for them. =p
• China
14 Nov 08
hi hi Kunizzul....I agree with you. age is does not really a big problems,what important is the honesty and respect each other careful each other,that is the real important to me. what a family member do not care or respect everybody,the family one day will goes to break up. cheers!!
@rosdimy (3935)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 08
Age difference should not matter much in a true relationship. If the couple can tune to one another then it should be fine. Not all relationships are motivated by physical desires so there should not be accusations like cradle snatcher or Dirty Old Man. Usually it is other people who like to give negative comments and there were those who became abusive towards the couple. For all we know the abusive person was jealous because he/she could not get into a similar relationship. Let me tell a story about my experience I had a relationship with someone who was 13 years younger. When the people in our housing estate found out, several men seriously campaigned against our relationship. Two of them were quite vocal. A few months after that I was informed by a neighbour they had eyes on this girl, and were thinking of taking her as an additional wife (Malaysia, Islam). In the end she was murdered by someone who is 6 years older than I am. After that there were several younger girls who wanted to live with me. Taking into consideration the possible effects on the people around us, I asked them to leave me and look for somebody else.
• United States
14 Nov 08
Am sorry to hear the tragic experience of your love life. But yours was an example of true love....something that people should ponder on. And I salute you for being a man enough to turned down those girls' proposals for safety reason. Well personally in my opinion, its not very much surprising if a man is much older than the woman....I mean its quite acceptable in some instances. But sometimes its more "indefferent" if the woman is much older than the man. Chances are the younger guy might soon be looking for somebody his age due to physical needs. But anyway, it depends on how comitted the couples are to each other.
• United States
14 Nov 08
Ashton and Demi - Ashton and Demi showing love even with age difference
Age is nothing but a number. Often people make judgments on this topic, but it is really just another prejudice. It should make no difference to anyone else if the couple is happy (or even if they are not) The picture I am posting shows a very happy couple with a big age difference. They have been a couple for quite awhile now.~Donna
• United States
14 Nov 08
Good question,i am 31 and have been with only 1 man who was 1 year yunger than me.But i always end up with the older man.Any where from 5 to 10 years older.I just started dating a man who i dated years ago.I won't say how many,but he is 40.So if yu can analyze that,I'd really like to know.(smile)Maybe i chalked it up to experiance,but have found that age doesn't always make the man.Older or younger,i suppose it's just a matter of who you enjoy being with.Ahh,love,it's a beautiful thing and so complicated yet so simple.
@daceyp (327)
14 Nov 08
if the two people involved are happy i dont think age really matters.the only problem i see is they may like different things eg music and the idea of a night out.the friends of each may not get on that well either. i know its not as big as some of the age differences you have said about but there is 13 years between me and my partner and i get on better with him than i have exs that are around the same age.we also have the same friends which does help when we go out.but like i said before we do dissagree over what music to listen to
@riyasam (16567)
• India
14 Nov 08
any relationship to work,there has to be respect.i know many such relationship which have actually worked.
@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
14 Nov 08
Age is not at all a factor to reckon with in a relationship. You can have no gap at all, and squabble the whole day long, never agreeing on anything. You've got to have the right base like, mental compatibility, love, understanding, trust, and all that goes with it. Live and let the other person live. You can only then enjoy a beautiful relationship.
@DWSMOMMY (55)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I think it depends on the relationship. If you want to have kids and marry a 53 yr old women that is very difficult to deal with. You love who you love. It does not matter how old the person is.
@Bebs08 (10685)
• United States
14 Nov 08
Well, for me... it matters a lot. I have seen so many older women who married younger men who are having problems in their relationship. The man who is younger often look for other women of his age. I have seen that many times and they end up a broken home. Only very few are successful in a relationship where women are older than men. For those young ladies who married older man like they are marrying their grandfather.. hahahah or sometimes the same age with their father,there are some who are successful but there are others also who are not. But if the man is rich.. well done.. the young woman will stick to the old and rich. This is very common among foreigners. Old men are looking for young women. In my personal opinion, I would not go for older man as my partner.5 years gap is fine with me but more than that is already something to think about.
@rsa101 (31352)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
Since it happens rarely then it becomes rather odd or different. That is why people tend to frown at this things from happening since its not what is the usual or norm that these things happen. I guess you should just understand and accept this things happen and its their choice to live and love like this.