Do Breakups and HeartBreaks Make us a Better Lover/Person??

India
December 13, 2008 10:54am CST
Do failures in relationships make us good in our future relationships. do they make us a good person, a good lover ,a good husband/wife..what is the use if we dont learn from our mistakes and keep on repeating them again and again.. do we need to change ourselves when we fail in relationships?how many of use the experience that we have from our previous relationships? or we prefer to remain the same egoistic,raw,obstinate person and wait to meet our match...
4 people like this
24 responses
• Belize
14 Dec 08
Being in a relationship that had its ups and downs, its good times and its horrible times makes us grow as a person - a lover. For me when a relationship ends, i do learn a lot about myself and about my actions so i do tend to change before getting into another one. But sometimes its not me that has the fault, its the person am with. So despite how much i learn and grow it all boils down to who u date.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 08
I would honestly have to say that some break ups, especially if you received so much mental and emotional abuse, can make you bitter in future relationships. i mean one mistake in one relationship might have been a negative thing, as in another, possibly could not hurt the relationship, or even be a mistake.
1 person likes this
• India
13 Dec 08
It all depends on the individual as to how it responds to this. If the response is negative it can lead to a complete disaster on an individuals life. But, if one takes it as challenge and try to learn something from it then surely make one a better person.
1 person likes this
@miamhae (339)
• Philippines
13 Dec 08
One thing I learn when I got broken hearted, I'm became more stronger... For me I thinks I don't need to change my self, because I know there are nothing wrong with me, I just wait the right person or the God really preferred for me, and I know this time the person I love is the one who preferred of God...
1 person likes this
@meow1978 (190)
• Malaysia
13 Dec 08
I always believe in 2 way we could grow up. First is by meeting an disaster accident and being hospitalized. Second is by breaking up or heart breaking. To be precise, being dump by someone. We will grow up or become more mature in thinking. Beside we never have too many chance to make the mistake. Each break up will make you stronger and firmer, especially women. Everyone will go through the hard time in forgetting the sadness of a relationship and later part will be scared to commit a new relationship or unless treat love/relationship not seriously.
@coffeebreak (17811)
• United States
13 Dec 08
CAn't say if it makes us better or not, but I would certainly hope it makes us smarter and not make the same mistakes, or repeat the same mistakes and most certainly learn from our mistakes.
1 person likes this
@LCHBheart (167)
• Singapore
14 Dec 08
It depends. Breakups could make us bitter. But I think that it is the relationship portion in where we grow, rather than the breakup portion.
• India
14 Dec 08
few words but very deep...thanks for sharing...
• United States
13 Dec 08
I think it can go one way or the other. If you blame everything on the other person then you wont learn from your mistakes and you will only set the next one up to do the same things the last one did. But ifyou learn and accept responsibility foryour actions and mistakes then you can be better for hte next one.
• India
14 Dec 08
yes you are right...very few people will take the blame of a broken relationship on themselves ...it's not natural...generally breakups happen due to misunderstanding and mismatch of personalities...both think they are right and they fail to understand each other....thanks for sharing your thoughts...
1 person likes this
@jha2x_09 (74)
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
Failures in a relationship make us a better person,because we've learned on our mistakes and this time we know how to handle relationship..
• Philippines
15 Dec 08
in relationship is a mutual give and take yes breakups will either make us or frustrate us that's depends on how you take it there are time that we have to change for our own good.
@savak03 (6692)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I think we should at least give it some thought. If after thinking it over we find that we were in the wrong at least part of the time we might want to change the behavior that caused the problem.
• Qatar
14 Dec 08
Breaking up from a loving relationship is never easy for anyone of us. It cannot only break your confidence, your spirit but also make it hard for you to trust anyone in future. We have to accept that the fact that a relation started has to end someday in case you are not thinking a long term relationship. We can be a better person, as experience is the best teacher! we dont need to change ourselves when we fail in a relationship. we should move on with life, its not the end of the world. There is a life after a heartbreak too. Happy mylotting!
• India
14 Dec 08
Cant say if they make us better persons but surely make us more resistant and more alert in putting up with relationships in future..
• United States
14 Dec 08
I would have to say that the breakups have made me a better person and heartbreks. It help me to become stronger as a person. I would have to say for all the things that I have been through in my past relationships and then finally finding the man that I love and spending now the rest of my life with. I don't regret anything that I have gone through.
@davido (1623)
• Canada
14 Dec 08
Well failures should make us better, if we are ready or if we actually learn from it. In a particular book by John Maxwell titled 'Failing Forward' he was able to analysed a lot of how we should learn from our mistakes and keep looking on and avoid the mistakes again. We all know this but just putting it into practice is the problem. Life can be viewed as a relationship, you learn fom your past mistakes so you dont get penalised again. But if we choose to remain egistic, obstinate as you put it then inside of us we should know we are the cause of all our problem and people can see us more than we see ourselvs and if they dont see changes (good ones) in us then we are done for.
@celticeagle (124394)
• Boise, Idaho
14 Dec 08
Failures in relationships gives us experience. We have a choice to either learn from the exerience or go into the next with the same ignorance. Until we see the error of our ways and wish to change it we go forth with the same vigor and lack of caring and continue to make the same mistakes. Things remain the same until we want to make change and there for change our lives. It is up to us. Ego and ignorance keeps us from making changes needed to bring betterment into our lives.
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
every failure will teach us a lesson. failed relationship is a manifestation that something is lacking in our understanding of how to make the relationship work. i do believe that every lessons learned makes us a better and wiser person. once a person committed a mistake he should learn the first time and he should not, never ever commit the same mistake again. if he does it again it means that he never learned. relationship is a trial and error, you never know when and where to meet your match. that is why there is so called getting to know you stage. this is where you and your partner are learning each attitudes, behavior as well as character. this is very important to be able to come up with a successful relationship.
• United States
14 Dec 08
NO, It just hurts. I don't make you grow, change, or learn, its just hurt. Life lessons do teach us to know better, but some time un be knowing $hit happens out of our control.
@pitsay (172)
• Philippines
14 Dec 08
Maybe and maybe not, but i think it change me or better to say i did grow up, i am trying (because a person cannot change over night) to be a better wife now, but sometimes when i get irritated i cant help bringing the old me =).
@Porcospino (30190)
• Denmark
14 Dec 08
The other day I was having an argument with my fiance and all of a sudden, I saw everything from "the outside", I heard myself talking to him and I realized that I was behaving exactly the same way as I did in my past. I was childish and selfish and I was saying things that I had already said in my former relationship, and I thought: "I haven't learned anything, I just make the same mistake again" But at least I noticed, and I want to change my behaviour. I don't think that the breakups that I have been through have made me a better person, and if I am not conscious about it, I will make the same mistakes over and over. So the challenge is to use my past experiences and learn from them instead of just repeating the same behaviour. The past experiences can be useful, but it all depends how I use them.