Forgiveness

@dawnald (84078)
Shingle Springs, California
February 4, 2009 11:05am CST
What are your feelings on the subject of forgiveness? Are you the sort who can forgive anybody pretty much anything? Does it depend on what they did? On how repentant they are? On how close you are to them? Have you ever completely turned your back on somebody you couldn't forgive? Regretted it or not?
4 people like this
28 responses
@kiran8 (15319)
• Mangalore, India
5 Feb 09
I am not too rigid about such things. But again it depends on the person and the seriousness of the situation and so on; Once long back one of my relatives began spreading malicious gossip about me, all the while being very friendly with me.But after many friends told me about what she was doing behind my back I confronted her in front of 2 of these friends, and she felt very sorry about what she had done, and told me that in fact the originator of the gossip was one of the friends present there( who had complained to me about her). It was too confusing and traumatic for me.I stopped having anything to do with both of them until our children studying together in the same school became good friends and started visiting each other, and, it automatically made us interact and clear all old disputes...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Yes it depends on what they have done and to whom. I can be much more forgiving of something that was done to me and much less if it was done to one of my children.
@kiran8 (15319)
• Mangalore, India
5 Feb 09
You know I totally agree with those views, we mothers tend to become more passionate when it concerns our children
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Definitely!
• Philippines
9 Feb 09
Forgiveness takes time but not too long. Yes, its not easy to forgive, specially its not easy to forget. I think if I can see the ways how this person asks for forgiveness to me, and i can see his/her sacrifices, responsibilities and no pride at all.. He/She deserves my forgiveness. We all know that we our only humans, We cannot stop ourselves from committing sins. It's normal. God do forgive our sins, then why can't we? right? It is just a matter of lowering your pride, reflecting and giving importance to a relationship that you don't want to lose at all.
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Feb 09
I'm with you but some people definitely don't forgive so easily!
• United States
8 Feb 09
I hold grudges until the bitter end. It's the scorpio in me I suppose. I feel that people know what they are doing and do it anyway, without regard to emotions. I definitely don't forgive thieves or liars.
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Feb 09
uh oh I'd better steer clear of Scorpios. lol I don't know about that though. Some people are pretty clueless...
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
8 Feb 09
I am known by my friends as a very forgiving and kind person. Yes I can easily or it might take some time depending upon the gravity of the situation. If the person is also sincere enough for the mistake he/she made it would be easy for me to forgive. Nope I have never turned my back on anybody as far as I can remember.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Feb 09
Depends on whether they repeat it too!
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
5 Feb 09
The subject of forgiveness is not always an easy one to answer to. I have had trouble during my life forgiving certain people. The funny part is that after I turned age 40 something happened to me inside my mind and heart. I think I experienced a sign of growth or something. The people that I could not forgive I figured I would give another chance. I might never see these people again but the best thing I can do is forgive if it is only for myself. I believe that the power of forgiveness is not easy for everyone. I think that a person has to be happy with them self and feel a little more whole inside to where they can love themselves and then they can forgive things in the past in order to move ahead. I would not judge anyone that has a hard time forgiving. Forgiveness is something that might need years of time. And I mean years. For some it comes naturally. Maybe some people have an inner growth experience that comes easier or faster than others. Thanks for posting on this wonderful subject. It gives many something to think about.
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Interesting. I read somewhere that some people who have a hard time forgiving don't feel so good about themselves.
@riyasam (16570)
• India
5 Feb 09
i am quite a forgiving type of person,i do forgive easily,if the person is not so closeto me.others also,i forgive but i take some time ,as it has hurt me quite a bit.(being unfaithfulis one type,where i would find it difficult to forgive)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
That's one that a LOT of people have trouble forgiving and many never do!
• India
5 Feb 09
it a characteristics of man and if its not there then they are called as animals i do forgive one who makes mistakes and do everything what they ask for me
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Even animals forgive...
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
i can easily forgive and then forget but sometimes if it hurts i could just forgive but never foget.. its such a nice feeling when you could really forgive someone! =)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Yes it is and it's much easier to do if they are sincerely sorry and make efforts not to do it again!
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
5 Feb 09
I forgive quite easily. It doesn't take me long to get over it, forgive that person and move on. It will only eat me up if I didn't let it go. There have been some instances where I may have forgiven them after a while, but have not forgotten what they did to me.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
harder to forgive if it keeps happening...
@zandi458 (27947)
• Malaysia
5 Feb 09
If "sorry' is one of the hardest words to say, then forgiving must be one of the hardest thing to do. The pain of being unforgiving eats into the very fabric of our lives. For me, I do not hold on to memories that cause awkwardness and anger? Forgiving can help us appreciate what we have achieved in life, our happy moments and the precious shared time we have had, and still have, with our loved ones. I am a very forgiving person and no matter how I was being betrayed in the past I will always forgive the offender. When we forgive others, we give love and accept others, even though they have hurt us, the chains around our hearts open up and we become free from the jail of painful past.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
You are right, good philosophy, hard to do...
@arlerambabu (1079)
• India
5 Feb 09
Regarding forgiveness, I draw a line within which I forgive .If the boundary is crossed, I will not forgive, Because, people should not take you for granted. They should not take the quality of forgiveness as my weakness.I'm of the opinion that forgiveness is an opportunity given to the other person to mend his or her ways.If people fail to recognize these nuances and repeat again and again folly after folly ,sorry, I won't forgive them
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
I might forgive them but I would stop trusting them and giving them opportunities to offend.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
5 Feb 09
It is good to forgive. It relieves you of the pain and the stress that you feel after an incident. Yes, it is not easy to forgive others and there are times when you simply cannot find it in your heart to forgive right away but once everything has been said and done, it is still better to forgive than to carry a lot of baggage for the rest of your life. There are a lot of things that simply cannot change and the only thing to make the pain and the heartache go away is to forgive and forget.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
harder when you're dealing with somebody who won't forgive you, but still it's good if you can do it...
• China
5 Feb 09
If someone important person for me makes me hurt,i will forgive him.But it is hard to forget it for me.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
especially if it happens more than once!
@zwitdh (47)
• Malaysia
5 Feb 09
I was with my X bF. He made many many mistake but i kept forgiving him for i felt pity on him since he was and orphan. I used to make compromise toward his mistakes, i couldnt blame him fully for every mistakes he made, since its strongly related with his family background, he got ADHD, procrastinator, and he was kind of megalomania. I was waiting and kept making compromise for 3 years till i realized tht i didint want to ruin my own life and sacrifice alot for someone who cant change himself. I left him, but i dont have any bad feeling about him now. I let him gone and i took my own way. One thing i regret is why is spent that long time (three years) for someone who seems so selfish.But howevre i m thankfull to him for giving me the lesson, he made me become a petient person than before.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
See the thing is, you can have a crappy upbringing. But what you do with yourself after you grow up is not something that you can blame on your parents any more. At some point, assuming your normal (and not mentally ill), you should be able to see that something needs to change and find out what you can do to change it. It wasn't your responsibility to change him and you needed to take care of yourself!
@amitksing (1323)
• India
5 Feb 09
Forgiveness is a very rare virtue. Even if anybody possesses it, it becomes really very difficult to implement it! It is said that one who forgives, attains the level something similar to that of God! I too believe in forgiveness. But at times, I find it really difficult to forgive someone who does something bad to me. But after few days, the feeling changes into a great relief! I come from the land of Mahatma Gandhi, who to believed in the power of forgiveness, and I try to follow it.
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
We need more Gandhis in this world...
@kerriannc (4280)
• Jamaica
5 Feb 09
Up until august '08 I never know what forgiveness was really about. Until I started to do an indepth study of the bible. This is when I realize that when someone hate you in order for God to orgive you, you have to do the same. So I started to forgive every persons who has hurt me in the past. I have never felt better. Now is someone hurt me I let he/she knows from the start that I am hurt about it and forgive on the spot. What I want to do know is stop murmuring because in the bible the book of 1 cor 10 vs 1-13 it told us to forgive and not to murmur. No I have never turn my back on somebody who I couldn't forgive. take norris for example he gave me the hiv virus and I stood by him until this year I tell myself it is time to move on. I forgive him. There are alot of persons who has hurt me who are very closed to me and I forgive them. I am happy that I have because my life is more lighter and brighter.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Carrying hatred and resentment around is only bad for the person who is carrying it!
@hildas (3031)
5 Feb 09
I always forgive people for what they have done, eventually. I see some people who fall out with say their Mothers and do not talk for years. I could not do this for long as I feel too bad about it all inside. I think lifes too short anyway to hold a grudge. Maybe if the person was a murderer or abuser though, it would be totally different with me. No! I have never completely turned my back on anyone for long. I have had fallouts, but not for more than a few weeks.
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
If I turned my back on somebody it wouldn't so much be because of a grudge. It would be because it wasn't good for me to associate with the person (because they're abusive, take advantage or whatever).
• United States
5 Feb 09
With me I forgive most things it really depends on the severity of what someone has done to me or other people I know . Never turned my back on anyone unless we were not friends.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
Which reminds me of the Junior High School 'friend' who turned her back on me after I accidentally sneezed on her. I hate to see what she'd do if somebody did something really bad to her.
• India
5 Feb 09
Forgiveness is something hard to do. But still it depends on the people, time and situation. If u ask me wheter i wil forgive or not then my answer wil surely depend on the factors of time, sitution and the person. Its said that LET US FORGIVE AND FORGET. But in my case, i can forget those mistakes but i never forgive it. If the mistake happened is because of time and situation then i really don wish to forgive the person. Because time and situation are the two resons using which people excuse us and request for forgiving them. Once if you decide to forgive people by looking at the time and situation has happened the problem can be avoided for certain extent. But what gurantee is there that the person wont repeat the same mistake next time and come to u wil the same excuse of time and situataion for the mistake If the mistake done is by the person whom u really love and respect, then forgiving wil not be such a hard task for you. Because when u love a person you have accepted that person compltely with all that persons good and bad. When some mistakes happens it falls in the category of bad of the person whom u love. Since you have accepted the bad in that person, you must forgive that person for sure for his/her mistakes. Ya once i turned back on my friend. I was not ready to forgive her for what she did to me. But still she was my friend. But later on i forgive her afterall she is my friend, let us try to forgive people as much as possible, this will help them to realise their mistakes in their life. happy mylotting:)
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
It is certainly hard to forgive somebody when they are justifying what they did. It tells you that they don't truly get why it was a problem. And if they don't 'get it', chances are that it's going to happen again and they are just going to make excuses again.
• Portugal
5 Feb 09
When I forgive someone I always think I'll have to forget, because if it isn't so I wouldn't be confortable with myself and I'd prefer not to forgive. I always take the time to ponder what I might lose and what I might get forgiving, and if it's worthy the loss against the profit. I just think that when you forgive you must think it's for a lifetime and I don't want regrets being thrown at my face, so I try not to do it to others. However, I did turn my back on someone some years ago, but as the time passes I always feel more like letting go than acumulating rage against that person. Sometimes I feel that it had no meaning at all and we could just work things out because we were really good friends, but then I think it might be difficult to go back to what it was, so I just prefer to leave things the way they are... I've always heard something that, in my opinion, is really true, which is "Men forget, but never forgive, and women always forgive, but never forget" ;)
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84078)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Feb 09
I can be pretty forgiving but forget? Nope.