Are you afraid of getting married

@mjanne (251)
China
February 12, 2009 9:09pm CST
Some of my friends are afraid of getting married. They prefer love to marriage. I think fall in love is easy but get alone with each other is much harder. You should be more patient and be tolerate. Some people back out just before wedding because he afraid of losing liberty. What do you think mylottor, what's your attitude to marriage?
3 people like this
20 responses
@rsa101 (21232)
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
I am married for some time already and I do felt the way your friends are feeling right now. But do not separate love from marriage, because in marriage love is very much alive and there is not much difference except that the love in marriage is supposed to be deeper and more committed to the partnership as compared to those that are not in a married relationship.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
You really said it well there. Being married is a serious commitment for those that are in love but it goes a little deeper after marriage happens. Marriage is not for everyone. Some people just continue to live together and never make it official. I do not judge those that do that though.
2 people like this
@rsa101 (21232)
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
Thanks! Well yes for me too I have deep respect to those partnership that remain unofficial too I have lots of friends and acquaintances too that do not really want to just partner themselves for whatever reasons they have.
@rainmark (4302)
13 Feb 09
Actually i am married, when i am single im not afraid of getting married, actually im so worried of what if i can't find a man to marry me, honestly im so excited to have a hubby and have a kids, it's my dream and now im happy deep inside my heart, but sometimes there's some problem in marriage but we always kiss and make up before going to bed. Happy Valentines day
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I think you have the right idea on how to make a marriage work. It is so true that there are problems and there are always going to be some arguments and differences of opinion in a marriage. What matters is that you make up and then go to bed with forgiveness.
• United States
13 Feb 09
I was ready to marry when i was 21.. I looked long and hard, even waited and found no one. Seen others relationships go bad and fall and i don't know about marriage anymore. Love is more powerful than a weeding anything. wedding band, vows, clothing etc. I guess after being drained of bad relationships and knowing how the world is spinning with the disdain women are starting to have for men and the feminist movement its getting hard to find someone through the confusion put to faces. so in end, i think at this moment i want love over marriage.
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I think that everyone has a different take or idea on the idea. Love definitely is very special and in most cases more important then just the wedding vows,ring,etc. I think that you prove a very good point here. Some cases show that two people feel better to get that true license proving they are in a committed relationship of matrimony.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
Why? are they forced to marry someone that they don't love? Well that will be a disaster. I would never want to marry someone i don't know very well, and i don't like someone forcing me just to marry the person whom i really don't like. It will be difficult to be in a relationship that does not have love at all. About liberty, well if you don't want someone to hold you down on what you like to do, then don't marry yet, enjoy being single, simple as that. But if you cant control yourself lusting , then marry someone who is right before the sight of God. But if you are still young, i think you better help your parents first. And if you decide that you know a person who loves you most and will do anything for you, then go ahead, the signal is Green!
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
There are some cultures where there are some arranged marriages to this day. I definitely can see the concern there with that kind of idea. It could scare anybody! Being forced to marry anyone would sure prove a life of unease and happiness in my point of view.
@samma00 (342)
• Canada
13 Feb 09
No I'm not scared at all. It's something I'm really looking forward too. I know when I find the one I love(which I have) it's nothing to be afraid of.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
It is true. The fear could possible go away of course if you know you have the right person in mind that you want to marry. If you feel safe and secure in the commitment then you have a chance of not getting cold feet when you say the "I dos".
@Alex18 (169)
• United States
13 Feb 09
Lol, I actually think I am the opposite, i dont think I am afraid at all. I think as long as you are with the person you love and the one you want to spend forever with i think marriage is an amazing thing. Im a little young right now, but when im ready I will be very excited to be married. It may seem like you lose liberty, but you gain a partner for life and I think if you do feel like your losing liberty than maybe your not sure you are with the right person.
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I believe that fear goes with any kind of commitment. You are right. As long as you are with the one you love and feel comfortable spending the rest of your days with then that is all that matters. There is a lot of sacrifice and compromise involved in such a union. It could be enough to scare anyone.
@thezone (9451)
• Ireland
13 Feb 09
Marriiage is just the next step of any relationship. It just kind of happens, I don't think it is something to fear, but then it depends on the person.
2 people like this
@bamakelly (5193)
• United States
13 Feb 09
It is true. Marriage is just the next big step after a long relationship. Well, some not so long. It just depends on how each partner feels about commitment and if either party is really ready or not.
1 person likes this
@okoyskabo (186)
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
i used to be scared of marriage - the responsibilities, the thought of being tied forever, and the unfaithful husband. but here i am now, very much married. i guess, it is one's calling to be married, if you are destined to be married or destined to be single, then you can't do much about it but to face the challenges ahead and live one day at a time. have a nice day.
• China
16 Feb 09
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and I think the feeling of staying together is good. Before , I expected for marriage because in our custom marriage is holiness .Now my family suggested that we should get marry,and I started to prepare for it for several month .The feeling of this period is complex, it makes me feel so tried ,sometimes i even hate it.I feel it is a painful course,and the feeling of love is becoming ......,I don't how to express. I'd rather to go back to the life before!
1 person likes this
@mjanne (251)
• China
17 Feb 09
Hi, redtomato, I have been prepared for the wedding too, so I do know it is dull. But you will find that the wedding is worth that.
• China
16 Feb 09
I think marriage should be a happy thing ,when you get married with your boyfriend
1 person likes this
@hhlylily (14)
• China
16 Feb 09
It depends on the attitude that different people have on marriage.Also during different age period,you will show different attitude to marriage.Some believe marriage is the sublimation of love,but some say marriage is the tomb for love. And at present,marriage is so far away from me.
1 person likes this
@hahalee (28)
• China
15 Feb 09
well,for me, marriage dosen't make any sense. After marriage, if you don't get on well with your husband/wife, you can divorce and seek for next Mr right.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Feb 09
Hi mjanne, Good day to you. I am not afraid of getting married because I want to get married someday. This is one of my dreams in life, To be with a person whom I'll treasure and share my life with. Getting married will prove that my couple and I really loves each other. You know, the commitment and faith is there. There are responsibilities of being married and I am ready of taking those responsibilities. Maybe some of your friends aren't ready for that. Happy mylotting.
@brew2x (3095)
• Philippines
13 Feb 09
I'm not afraid to get married and I think I'm ready. It will be hard at first because we will need to adjust (me and my partner) since we will be under the same roof but eventually I know we will get used to it.
1 person likes this
@Lore2009 (7386)
• United States
13 Feb 09
I was not afraid when I got married because I knew he was the one. After we divorced... I'm not too sure of the importance of marriage.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Feb 09
i am not afraid of getting married i just wish i could find the right guy to marry it is just the next step in life so there is nothing to be afaid of
1 person likes this
13 Feb 09
ilove being married its the inlaws you have to worry about if you dont get on with them or they put there noise in everything you do it can be hard for you. i know someone who was married becouse the inlaws were so bad he scard of going throug it again.
1 person likes this
@max1950 (2313)
• United States
13 Feb 09
i deffinitly believe in marriage, i was married once for 6 years, we got married very yound had 2 kids and i just didn't work out i was the one mainly to blame, we are still best friends to this day, we still see each other she's re married hes a great guy and we meet on holidays at my kids house 37 and 39 boy and girl. we just couldn't live together back then. any way she was my 1 true love and i never did it again, now i have friends that are on their 3 and 4 wives, and thats just down right crazy.
1 person likes this
• China
13 Feb 09
Marriage is love's Tomb!!
1 person likes this
@fwangaa (3058)
• China
27 Apr 09
the marriage will lost liberty. and will let you more patient and tolerate. i have a the sense. but by the press of my family , i married. and now don't feel very well. why many man feel patient , why they also marriage. so i don't decide to disvercement , you will also face patient and lost liberty. if you have another marriage.