Online chat abruptly ended. Is it impolite?

@kevchua (1004)
Malaysia
September 1, 2009 2:29am CST
Is it impolite to you when you ask someone a question, or while you're chatting on MSN or any chat application, and suddenly that person goes offline without saying goodbye? To me, it is impolite. I would write an offline message to explain in brief why I went offline - it could be an emergency, or it could be bad network congestion. I'd just leave a brief message like "Sorry, got disconnected." or "Had an emergency last night" or "Oops, the line was cut", rather than having my friend wonder if he has been too talkative or he has said something wrong. What's your comment on this? Should we just assume that the other party is OK with it when we end abruptly?
4 people like this
18 responses
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
At some point , you can consider it to be impolite. But you have to understand that you really do not know what has happened on the other end. It could be that internet connection abruptly stops or there could be a power shortage. I have been chatting for a while. Sometimes, in other chat programs, I get offline for no apparent reason. And my friend from the other end told me that it could be that internet connection was slow. So, it really depends on what happened exactly.
@hotsummer (10523)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
yes that is true. we don't know the reason why the user just suddenly went offline. but if this same user do that often then it is not cause by accident or by some problems but mostly by his attitude and that is really irritating and impolite.
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
2 Sep 09
Thanks for your comments. I guess as long as I'm doing it politely, it's OK. From now on, if no one replies, I'd just ignore; they might really be busy or got disconnected.
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
Hello kev. I think it is already understood that the person is busy or the line was cut when they don't reply to your message so i don't feel that it is being impolite. But if i am having a really nice conversation with a friend then suddenly he logged out without telling me why, then that would definitely bug me the whole night! So if i am having a nice conversation to a person, i would leave a message or text him if i cannot reply back at all so that everything will be clear for the both of us.
2 people like this
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
1 Sep 09
Hi koalapenguin, you have a point there but instead of making the other party (who's waiting for your response) to guess what happened, why not use the Status feature which most chat applications have? For instance: Available, Busy, Not At the Desk, Be Right Back, and so on. These status are there so that users are able to inform the other end what's happening at that time. If the status is Busy, I'm sure the user will not be disturbed. It's like sending an SMS to your friend. You say "Hope things are fine"; you're concerned and you're waiting for a reply to confirm that things are fine. You wait and wait but there's no response because your friend assumes an answer is not needed. My point is, in a non-face to face communication, we have to be extra cautious with our ethics because the other party doesn't know how we feel and can't see what's happening. Hey thanks for the reply
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
Hi there, well probably if the person has the reason to cut the conversation in a not so nice way like that, you would have heard from that person already. People would always have reasons, be it intentionally or not. But I always do tell my friends if I got booted or logged off. It is always a good way to explain them what happened and they might think that you must have done something bad to them that they disappear or be out in the blue. Anyway, just don't think it seriously too if a friend got booted, usually it is an online communication, anything can happen like power cut, internet interruption and so on. But if your friend is good enough to tell you the reason, then no problem too. Some would never explain because they don't even owe you an explanation so just don't compare people. All are different in nature. Some may explain, some may not. But just do what you think is right for you to do. Have a nice day.
@kevchua (1004)
• Malaysia
1 Sep 09
Thanks for the response. Agreed that some people would never want to explain to you the reason for abruptly ending the conversation. Like what you've said: They don't owe us any explanation. I guess sometimes, we're put in the dark as we'd never know if we've been making them bored, if it's really got to do with connection or whatever. Hey thanks.
1 person likes this
@Boffle (124)
1 Sep 09
Well, it does seem impolite. But you don't really know the circumstances. Did the person you were chatting to suddenly lose their internet connection; did they get called away suddenly; was there a power outage that meant their computer stopped working? I really wouldn't take it personally; next time, if you get to chat to them again, just ask why they had to disappear so suddenly.
2 people like this
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
2 Sep 09
while we chat online, we got to be ready on the line interruption or emergency since we can't see what the other party is doing.. As for me, if I am in a IM chat, and the other party suddenly went 'silent' I would understand, and will just leave whatever message I need to tell the other party.. I believe once they come online again, they will be able to read all the messages.. If my line got interruption, and once I am online I see some of these messages, and I will also reply no matter if the other party is online or offline.. sometimes, due to my baby give me 'emergency' call, I will have to drop everything, even not saying goodbye.. and all this are being 'warn' much earlier if my friend want to chat with me.. I will say... 'hey, be aware if I suddenly go missing, means my boss calling, so just leave message and I reply you once I am off the hook' and I am glad my friends understand..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
i personally think it is impolite to suddenly go offline without saying goodbye. true, there are emergencies and line disconnections but it would be appropriate that as soon as u come online, u explain why the sudden or maybe, a temporary stop.
@bvijayks (137)
• India
1 Sep 09
ya its often frustrating that whenever you begin the conversation the other person turns off or doesnt respond to us. nowadays i met with some people that the other person is male then they immediately turn off. but i feel if you are really there for having chat with others then why dont you do it properly in a responsive manner
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
2 Sep 09
Hi kevchua At first, I felt shocked and wondered what happened when it was the first time I do online chat. I thought that's impolite. Then I ask her the next time and from that experience, I know that it's normal and often happened. Anything can be the reason, from bad internet connection, immediately in emergency situation or no electricity at that time, even sometimes I do that. If the connection bad, I can't send anything.. I explain it the next time I chat to that person.
@seanbryan (351)
• United Arab Emirates
2 Sep 09
Hi kev! You can say so, always I feel being disliked when a friend suddenly logs off while chatting without saying goodbye. But of course there are some reasons that comes in my mind like there are net or power interruptions that it was really unintentional. However, there are many ways to inform a friend of what had happened if not instantly then the next time you were both online. I am doing the same as i don't want to be tagged as impolite. Though some tends to think that they don't owe any explaination of their actions, still one should be conscious on what are good manners in dealing with people, friends in particular. Good Day!
@dolmitta (221)
• India
2 Sep 09
Hey all, It is rude to sign off in the middle of a conversation. But, if it is an unavoidable situation you can definitly explain it to the person later on. People will surely understand these things, coz it is normal in CHAT.
@anklesmash (1414)
1 Sep 09
yes i think it is if you were talking to someone face to face you wouldn't just stop talking and walk away i think this is the same thing
@elmiko (6637)
• United States
1 Sep 09
no its not impolite. theres no telling what others have to do as people are busy.
• India
1 Sep 09
I love chatting. But if some one goes with out informing me it is impolit.even though i will check wheather they are in invisible mode or not. Then i will send offline message to them and I llwait for their reply.They must explain the situation about what happened.That is a good manners.i ll do That. So i expect others to do that.nothing wrong in that know?
@vandana7 (72960)
• India
1 Sep 09
In our country so many things can go wrong. :-) Start with net connection failing, followed by power outage, then unexpected guests, and may be somebody whom u dont want to show the message turning up in the room. I now remember I went offline once because I had placed some milk on the stove, and it boiled over. Had some cleaning to do, and I quite forgot about it. I dont think my friend remembers it either. But whenever my friends disappear, I presume that something like that happened so its ok. That is the reason I never thought of it like that.
@cupkitties (7489)
• United States
1 Sep 09
Maybe they aren't able to get online to leave you a message like that. I've been talking to someone on IM before and suddenly got disconnected and was not able to chat or even web surf for two whole days. I'd just not assume things and send them an email or go on about my business. I would watch out though if that behavior becomes a habit. If you are talking to someone who is lying about their marital status for example maybe the wife walked into the room. Of course they aren't going to stop and think about saying "gotta go.bye"
• United States
1 Sep 09
It is not really that impolite. Connections move in and out all the time causing people to sign off abruptly.
• United States
1 Sep 09
Yes it is impolite but sometimes it can not be helped either connection or computer problems is the root of it. I have had this problem lots of times but have always went back to let them know some how what happened. Usually my daughters computer would be up and she would send them a message letting them know what happened and they were always happy to know they did nothing to upset me or wrong. It is always a good thing to let someone know and if they did say something wrong then let them know. Hope this helps.
• United States
1 Sep 09
Just my opinion...but I don't believe on-line chat produces many friends...the truth is they can act anyway they want - it doesn't matter - you may never meet them or have to talk to them again...they aren't real friends, unless you have met them on the outside...only people you imagine them to be. So I wouldn't get so caught up on the ideal image of a great person you are talking to...because most likely they aren't who you expect or imagine them to be