Are you in favor of "cool off"?
By markmoney
@markmoney (2868)
Philippines
March 29, 2010 8:52pm CST
I have never experienced this but I just heard relationships having this status called "cool off". It is mostly happened when the partners needed space. It is happened when they are getting bored to each other and getting tired of the same routine they were doing. It can also happened after a love quarrel. So what are your thoughts about this thing called "cool off", would you let it happen? Do you think cool off will make the relationship revives or it will just lead to a more complicated relationship? Me, I'm against cool off, I won't let our relationship be in that status called "cool off". For me, all problems should be talk about and should be solve by you and your partner. You should share everything and you should be open to each other. Cool off or having space between you and your partner will just lead to a more complicated situation, in my opinion. So how about you, are you in favor of cool off? I would be glad to hear from you. Have a nice day! Happy myLotting! 
2 people like this
21 responses
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi saph! Well, you better tell her that coz I think she's in favor of it. Hahaha! Maybe by this time, she is changing her mind. Lol! Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@sexy_jessica (105)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
This is one biggest mistake of my like. We tried to cool off then suddenly I discovered in his facebook that he has a new girlfriend already, the girl post on his wall "I love you bb". I feel cheated that time because we are still exchanging I love you then promise that we will not find another partner. :(
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi jessica! Cool off is not really advisable. Hmmn.. you know I'm so sad that the guy you have chosen to love was not really worthy of your love. You have chosen a guy who is not sincere and unfaithful. He don't deserved a tear. So stop crying for him, you should move on. Just choose for a sincere person next time. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
i guess cool off as the word stated to separate from each other to have time to think and reflect about what has happened on your relationship. It is not always associated with complication, I guess if you really love each other you are just doing it to solve the problems and to find yourself again. If you still love each other, the decision is to still get back on each other which of course needs the initiate of one of them, usually the guy. Cool off is just giving space on each other to find themselves and to realize something that we they are not together they can live a day. I am in favor of cool off, that it the good term for the words STAY AWAY FROM NOW BECAUSE I HAVE TO FIND MYSELF.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi grecy! You have explained well what a cool off means. I respect your side that you are in favor of cool off. But for me, I just don't think that cool off will be a solution to a problem, coz if they will separate with a negative feelings to each other, the more tendency of it to lead towards a break-up. For me problems should be solved together by partners, they should always be there for each other, no matter what happened. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi ebuscat! Yes, no communication will lead to coldness of a relationship which will soon become a break-up. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@bulastika (5966)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I think its nothing wrong with cool off. But it will end in off than cool..lolz.
I think in relationship. We must face problem together not individually. Problems can make relationship stronger not break it.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi bulastika! Haha, yes it often end up in "off" rather than "cool". You are right, problems should be face and solve together by partners and not solve it separately. No period nor comma should takes place in a relationship, it should keep running continuously. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@shermaine1112 (203)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I agree with you. I've experienced cool off and the result was worse. Cool off gave us both the opportunity to have space but it also gave him to be with somebody else while having that so called "space". Cool off is not made to fix the problem. It's just an escape to feel single again once in awhile. If you're not ready for a commitment then don't commit. Don't do cool offs 'cause that would make it worse.trust me. I am speaking through a lot of experience.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi shermaine! I'm glad to have you hear in my discussion about cool off since you have already experienced it. Well, I'm really not in favor of cool off, good thing that you testified that cool off is not really good and it will just give more problem to a relationship. In your experience, cool off was been the reason why your boyfriend had the chance to be with another girl. It's really sad. Yes I agree with you, if someone is not ready for a commitment, then he/she should not really commit him/herself. Thank's a lot for sharing. Have a nice day and happy myLotting!
@grayxenon (1313)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
yes, its because you giving a relationship a chance to review/ reassess things, make some thinking and weigh situations..sometimes absence makes us feel what we lost, in cooling off we are not yet actually lost everything, there is a chance needing to be revived, breaking up are almost cause by a lot misunderstanding, when we are at high at emotions we tend to speak words that we don't mean..
that is if what cool off means to you? (the things that i've just said)
some define cool off at different ways, like transition to letting go and laying it down slowly so as not to implicate hurt.. if this is the kind of cool off you are talking about, then i will not be favoring this..
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi gray! I'm talking about the "cool off" period in a relationship. Your first statements are the answer to my question. So you are in favor of cool off. You want to temporarily separate so that you can review and reassess your feelings. Well, there are really people thinking like you. I respect your thoughts. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar 10
hi markmoney nope I am sure not in favor of that, it would just
make more problems. when you have problems between you in a marriage,
if you really love each other you will work together to solve the
problem then go forward with a stronger marriage. a good marriage
does require a bit of work, a lot of compromise, a lot of love
and good communications. also you should try to be best friends,'
and best friends do not cool off they work out any problems between'
them and go on forward.You are right, marriage is sharing, sharing every
thing between you. For one thing I know in our own marriage we let each o other have some by yourself time, when I went off with my best woman friend, and he went off with some of his men friends. we all need
those times too. They keep each of us happy and glad to be back together
again.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi hatley! Yes, I also believe that cool off will just result to more problems. I believe that partners should face the problem and solve it by themselves. They should not escape the problems by having a cool off. They should talk about the problem and work hard to fix it. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
1 Apr 10
I am not a fan of a ‘cooling off’ period because I don’t think problems are resolved by being apart and taking a break can sometimes create too much distance between the people in the relationship. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with going away to cool off for a day or so especially after an argument but the sooner both parties comes together again the sooner there will be a chance to resolve the issues. 
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi junmae! Some may say that it's just a semi break-up. But yes, I agree with you that cool off is almost the same as break-up. It will just lead towards a real break-up. I also don't want to be in a "cool off period", I won't allow it. If there's a problem, we should talk about it and solve it. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@dhysanne (449)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
I'm in favor with this. Sometimes partners are encountering some problems that affects their relationship. Both need some time to think than talk about it, or they already talked about it but they can't compromise on the situation. Cool off is better than breaking up. Better chances to get together again.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi anne! I know some girls are in favor of cool off, and you are also one of them. Even though we have different opinion, I also respect yours. Maybe cool off really works well with your relationship. Maybe by having a cool off, you and your partner will realize that you can't live without each other and you will be together again for a better relationship. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi ghie! Yes, I agree with you. Couples should should always be there for each other at all time. Thank you for your response. Happy myLotting!
@chipesterkhan (2925)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
cooling off usually leads to having another relationship. and others would justify this as their way of comparing their old relationship to that "fling"
It's so high school to cool off.
Last time i heard that, I ended up with no girlfriend and she with 3 boyfriends all at the same time.
which lead me to my being a "hermit"
@jenrose930 (119)
• United States
30 Mar 10
The term that I'm much more familiar with is "taking a break". I hate this term and this it is ridiculous. I feel like the people involved should either be in a relationship with each other or just flat out break up. This "take a break" period just gives the couple an excuse to act like they don't care about each other. If you care about each other to want to only "take a break", then you should just be in a relationship. Just because you are going through a tough time doesn't mean that you get to wimp out and half break-up. If you don't care enough about the other person to be in a full relationship then you should fully break-up.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
Hi jenrose! Oh, so in your place, cool off is better called "taking a break". It's good to know. Well, I'm glad to know that you are also not in favor of the so called "taking a break" period. It's like a 50-50 situation or half break-up. Yes, it's not good to think that just because of having tough time, you are going to be apart. Where instead, you should stick to your partner and solve the problem with him/her, because that is the time that you really needed to bind with your partner, the time that you needed to support each other. You are in a relationship and you are committed to each other that's why you should face the problem and not avoiding it. For me, "taking a break" means you are escaping the problem and not solving the problem. If you really love and care for each other, you will be able to solve whatever problem that will go on your way. Well, I agree with you jenrose. Thank you for your response. Have a nice day and Happy myLotting!
@angel_kaycee (1112)
• Philippines
30 Mar 10
my answer... a big NO!!! NO! never! and my boyfriend knows that. even all my ex's. i really don't believe in cool-offs. i don't even get the point of cooling offs! i mean, when you have problems with your relationship, why not talk about it, resolve it. if it really doesn't work out then break up. for me, "cool off", is like escaping from your relationship problems, while having the time for you to chill out with someone else. sometimes i think partners take a cool off from each other to test their love and faith for each other, that when time comes in, they know whether to stick in or shut it up. but sometimes, cool off only means, you don't want it anymore but you can't help without it. its like you don't want your hands empty with pile of bananas that's why your not fully letting it all go out. i don't know, im not just in favor of cool offs and that's it. thanks! happy mylotting! ~ 
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
30 Mar 10
No. lol. People still use that excuse huh? "Cool off" and "taking a break" is usually the first step before complete break up. It is used when one person in the relationship wants to hook up with someone else but they don't want to be seen as cheating. Instead of being honest though they claim "trying to find myself". To me its either they are with me or we are broken up for good. None of the games.
@Ingkingderders (3832)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
I never had a cool off with any of my relationships. Like you, I really don't believe in it. Cause if there are problems in our relationship, there is just two ways to solve it, whether we really talk about it and work it out, or we would just go on our separate ways. There is really no middle ground. Arguments and problems in a relationship should be solved and worked out and not just be buried by a cool off, cause a day will come when all those things would be dig up then there's a bigger problem ahead.
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
31 Mar 10
I'm not in favor of cool off. Each time a boyfriend and I would cool off, something crazy happens, like he starts dating other women, or I start seeing other men, or we start sleeping with someone else. I guess it's good in a weird kind of way as if it were proof that we weren't meant to be together. But for me it's the root of cheating. And i never liked saying I was with another guy while I had a boyfriend. So if there's a problem in the relationship, it should be fixed. Space is only for those who want to do something else. Sure they say they want a little breathing room. But sometimes, when one is willing given the space, they tend to miss being single and end up doing something that single people do. So I am not in favor of cool off.
