Returning a Child after Adoption
By Jess
@JJ4Ever (4693)
United States
April 12, 2010 8:44pm CST
Do you think it should be allowed to return a child after adoption? Normally adoption occurs for life because the parent or parents commit to raising the child to adulthood. Adopting a child isn't like making a purchase at a store where the item can easily be returned without a second thought. Adoption can also take months or years before the transaction is completed, not to mention all the expenses involved. If a child can be returned after being adopted, what's to say the birth parents couldn't come back and claim the child as well even though he or she had already been legally adopted? It seems to me that if people invested all the time and money it takes to adopt, they would never consider giving the child up. What do you think...should a child be able to be returned after being adopted?
3 people like this
6 responses
@GardenGerty (169530)
• United States
13 Apr 10
A few years back there were some occasions where birth parents backed out of adoptions and got their children back. Some adoptions, especially, but not only from foreign countries, are not done with proper research. People just think "I will love the child and love fixes everything." I think there needs to be an option to help when troubled children are adopted, and in the case of adoptions in the US there are financial and thereapeutic helps for people who take on "at risk" children. Some people should not be parents, adopted or otherwise.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
22 Apr 10
I've definitely heard of parents planning on putting their child up for adoption and then deciding to keep the child. I don't think there is anything wrong with that as long as they didn't sign a contract or already promise their child to someone else. I know adoption can be risking in some cases as well when it is an international adoption. I guess I've never looked at it the way you describe - that because I couple may be adopting a child, that they just expect to love the child sight unseen (or only from a picture). Love doesn't always cause things to mesh into place. I think as expensive and time-consuming as adoption can be, the potential parents should definitely do their homework. Thanks, Gerty!
@Polly1 (12644)
• United States
13 Apr 10
Adopting a child is a lifelong commitment. At least thats the way it should be, the same as having a baby. Children aren't throw away, you get tired of them and throw them away. In a case of abuse and hatefullness, then a child whether a natural or adopted, should be protected and taken care of. I suppose is better to be in foster care then o be abused and not loved. I feel so sorry for some kids, they go thru some unimaginable horror.
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
22 Apr 10
I feel sorry for some children because, not of their doing, of course, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. So many children can't seem to have permanent homes. I don't think any child should have to live like this, but it continues. I agree with you that adoptions should be looked at as birthing a baby. The commitment must be there as well as the desire to raise the child to adulthood. So many people take this choice for granted. It's sad when children have no home and family of their own, but it's even worse, in my opinion, when they are adopted and sent back to the agency they came from. Adoption is a solution for these children, but it's not fair for potential parents to take advantage of it. Thanks, Polly.
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
13 Apr 10
The parents who might find them in such situations must not adopt in the first place. Whatever may be the reason and how justified it may sound, giving up a child after adoption is just not done. It's indeed not a purchase that we can abandon, give away or return just because it didn't suit us.
A couple of years back when I was thinking of adoption seriously. I faced many problems. Being single, I was denied and also I do not earn that much to take care of all the needs of a child. I was initially very upset but then I understood. What's the use of just adopting a child if we cannot take care of his/her needs!
1 person likes this
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
22 Apr 10
I appreciate your response in that you've been through part of the adoption process. Unfortunately, at the time, you were denied that responsibility, but I love how you've looked at it from a different perspective now where you can understand why things work out the way they do. Many people wouldn't be able to look at a similar experience the way you have. Things always happen for a reason! I also agree with you that a child shouldn't be given up once adopted. The parent(s) make(s) a commitment to care for that child until he/she is an adult. This is a decision that takes a lot of research. Thanks for your excellent response!
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
13 Apr 10
Hi JJ4Ever,
I know what story you are talking about. The mother claims that the child was violent and out of control and she just could not take any more. The childs own mother had him for 6 yrs and so it makes sense that the child has some serious issues that may not have shown up right away. Do I think she should be allowed to change her mind? Yes, I do. Just as parents have the choice to keep or put a child up for adoption when the child is born. I think putting the child back up for adoption is kinder than keeping him when you clearly don't want him. That being said, I do think that the way she went about it was careless and cruel.
@JJ4Ever (4693)
• United States
22 Apr 10
A violent child is obviously a completely different story. In my opinion, it is the same as if a wife were in an abusive marriage. She should have a way out as should parents with a violent child. No one should be subjected to that kind of torture. You're right - it's the same as if a couple chose to put their baby up for adoption. I think it should only be in certain cases, of course, as you already stated. If parents could give up the child they adopted relatively easily, I'm sure there would be people who take full advantage of it. A child deserves to be in a family that loves him or her. To keep that child when love is not present wouldn't be fair. Thank you for your response!
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
13 Apr 10
I don't think it should be allowed except under sever circumstances like they turned out to be Esther from Orphan or some of those kids from Children of the corn.
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