What Do You Want From Me?!
By Daddy Neil
@neildc (17238)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
April 29, 2010 12:47am CST
I have this neighbor who is a German national. He runs a music bar for over a year now. He came here and since he is already a retiree and he has a Filipina girlfriend, he decided to stay here and run the business under her name.
There is a city ordinance that prohibits videoke to operate beyond 10PM, especially in the residential area. They will be charged by the police once someone in the neighborhood complains. He never been charged though, since he is following the ordinance, but his direct neighbor, the one who resides just beside his place almost always complains with the barangay, about the noise of the music that is created by the videoke machine even in low volume or from the voices of the already drunk guests he may have.
Once, we came there to spend the night out with my friends, this German national and I talked about his stay in the country. He told me that he have to be in the immigration bureau to process his stay, every six months, and people in the bureau asks him a huge 40,000 pesos. I told him, I could see if it is legal or what, and find ways to help him lower the fees, if I can, since I also work in the government. Actually, he didn't want to talk about his stay, his visa. I thought he might just be afraid someone will go over his place and bother him with his visa or something.
This week, I heard that he was charged by an American national before the Prosecutor's office. I don't know what exactly the charge is but I told this German national about this matter, though I should haven't. But I thought he might consider my help since I believe he considers me as FRIEND.
Since I am not that good in English conversation, I can only speak slowly and calm, as I have to interpret the words and thoughts before I deliver the phrases. So I guess, people would never think that I am rude, or something, especially if they are foreign nationals. But what made me a bit annoyed with him is the "What do you want from?!" she uttered first when I started telling him, explaining him the situation, the charges against him in the office.
I really just wanted to help him. He is now alone as I have heard, his girlfriend already left him. No one in the neighborhood ever bothered to extend help or even talk to him. And I am so disappointed to think, that whenever someone comes to him, he thinks that they want something to get from him. You know that, money. He thinks, as I assess it, that people would come to him and will ask for some monetary thing as he is a foreigner. It really saddens me to think about his thinking about us. Us, who are Filipino. Us, who are state workers.
3 people like this
22 responses
@Genericbe (1376)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
I empathy with that situation. Even you have a big heart for that person to give generous help. That foreigner will always stick in mind those acts committed by people who did took advantage of him. Sad to say, but there are people who are insensitive enough in other people that only showed greediness for money.
I hope those people do have a conscience. You are right that it is a sad part knowing what others think of your community. However, somehow your foreigner friend will understand that not all are like that, because you are one of them who are considered to have a gentle heart.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
thanks for the nice comment here my friend. i really do appreciate it. one more thing that i am trying to make myself clear is, does he really considers me as a friend, since the time he came at the place, there was no one, except my family and my sister in law and her family frequents the place and have a good conversation with him and his girlfriend. if he thinks of me otherwise, then there is really no way i could help him.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
1 May 10
i also think so. well, he lost a lot from his American friend. and he have to look for another girlfriend. 
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
1 May 10
well ybong, i know you will feel the same thing if you are here and you have followed his stay here, his business, how neighbors treat him. if i were him, i will just go back to Germany. at least there, his son will be beside him.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
1 May 10
Put yourself in his shoes. He is doing the right thing and he is in trouble in a foreign country. He is alone and probably not young. Maybe he has no idea about the laws in your country or the way things really work, the proverbial fine print.
I'd be pretty scared...maybe he is anxious and worried and if this is the case I can understand him saying that to you. He does not know which way to turn and it seems everyone is out to get him/hurt him.
I would say he needs a friend right about now.
@celticeagle (189838)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Apr 10
First off, I would like to say that your concern for this man is very commendable. It is sad if he does think such things but not anyones fault, just the way the ordinance reads. Hopefully it won't deterr him and he can make better of it. It must be hard to try to communicate with foreign speaking people. We have foreign neighbors here where I am living right now but they seem to understand 'hello' and those type of things.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Apr 10
i really don't know how to react to commendations i have been receiving from this thread. all i can say is, thank you all.
at least i can understand him though i have a little of replies to his statements when we have a talk. sometimes i would just have to move my head, or say, "aha" or "ok".
1 person likes this
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
1 May 10
Hi Neil,
There ies something not right about all this, as you are only trying to help him, maybe he has something to hide? something he is not telling you, the best thing for him to do now that his girlfriend has left him, he should go back to his country, but I still think something is not right here. Hugs.
Tamara
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
2 May 10
i have said it too, tamara, he should only go back to his country (of course not in front of that old guy. lol) when things get even worse. at least he have his son there that will take care of him.
@qujing1710 (210)
• China
30 Apr 10
i think you a kindhearted man.if i were you,i would have left him.because i think h can try to believe someone in his life.after all,life is real and not much complex.is a German more carefull than others when they deal with people?maybe it is just his character of his own.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
1 May 10
i am not familiar with Germans actually. and i cannot compare them from the other nationals. well, i just hope he will have a change of mind and hope to get him better with his stay in the country.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Apr 10
That's kind of funny, because my husband is German, and most of his family has this "people are out to take you" kind of attitude. I find it very annoying...
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
29 Apr 10
I wonder if it is not just a defense mechanism. Maybe he is afraid to be kicked out of the country, or maybe he's had something happen to him which has made his trust in others become faulty. I would not take it personally though. He also may be hurting because his girlfriend left him. I hope your neighbor can get things sorted out.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Apr 10
even before his girlfriend left him, i was already defensive when someone asks about his Visa. he doesn't want to see people, especially the locals talk about his stay. well, this could be the last time i will offer my help or i will do this. once i get the papers from the prosecutor, i will leave him alone.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
30 Apr 10
I think you should feel very proud of your own character as you are prepared to help someone in such a situation. He may have his own reasons for not trusting you intentions. It’s a shame that he is pushing your help away but I guess there is nothing more you can do if he is not appreciative. I would offer to help once more and stay away until he calls on me.
@piya84 (2580)
• India
29 Apr 10
@neildc
Ohh dear now thats really heartbreaking that you want to help this man and he is seeing you as a robber.No one cant do anything in this matter.Its better oyu leave him alone till he come to you for help.
The way i see things you might get trapped as well he f complain against you.SO oyu better stay away from this matter now.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
i know what you mean. but i don't think he will ever come to me again to ask help. if this is what he thinks about me, then let it be. once i get the papers, the affidavit of the complainant, i will hand it to him and leave him alone.
@jaiho2009 (39140)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
hello neil,
I do understand your sentiments,our kindness sometimes were mistaken with self interests.
We cannot blame the foreigners,but,sometimes they(the foreigners)had to be more sensitive to feel,who's cheating and who's willing to help them.
They should not judge the whole nation by the hundreds.
We can also assume what kind of person the Germans are...but,not all of us were judging them from the kind of country they came from.
Well,you've done your part.
Leave him and let him think about his deeds.
Cheer up dear brother...it's not your loss...it is his loss.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Apr 10
thanks my dear. i agree with you, we should not be judgmental by the nationality or race of one person. they could be one or hundreds who are bad or something, but not the country as a whole. 
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
30 Apr 10
tata, i could just be a light-hearted person that i feel help the poor old guy. but yes, it is upsetting especially on the first time we had a talk about his stay in the place. he really hates people asking about it.
but yes, it is upsetting especially on the first time we had a talk about his stay in the place. he really hates people asking about it.@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
i thought you'll gonna say, i want nobody nobody but you.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
29 Apr 10
Hi neildc, its disheartening to learn that you offer your helping hand and people are suspicious and refuse your help. On the other hand if I was in his shoes I would feel the same and perhaps react the same. If I am surrounded by people who think I am a fat cow to be milked than I would be wary why people are so nice and are trying to help me. Thus its seems hard to offer him your help.
Try to have a good chat with him when he is calm and quiet and see how it goes. Good luck
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
ronald, we have been meeting each day. remember, we are neighbors. and one time or more, he even come to our place whenever he see us spending some times outside our house, drinking, and he drinks with us. there were even times, he comes to us and tell us, you can bring your drinks at the bar, sing songs and i will not charge you or something.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
29 Apr 10
That is the stupidity of this man. He can't differentiate between a stone and a diamond. Or he needs to study deeper on human characters before he can judge a fake and a genuine friend. Knowing very well that he is a loner or an alien in a foreign land he should have entertained your call to help him when in troubled waters. It is a known fact that we Asians are friendly and helpful people and foreign investors should not be unduly worried that they are being fleeced of their money. I can see and understand the scenario you are in. There is no point of rendering your help to this kind of person who don't appreciate and value the locals. Leave him and let him taste his own bitter medicine.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
i couldn't help to think that his girlfriend already left her. the bar, for months is not earning. he only gets few visitors and mostly are also foreigners. now, i see no one shouting for his name out in the street, to let them in and have drinks. no more foreigners coming to drink at the place and have a friendly conversation with him. i only see one last night, came in the place. but the bar is closed. he peeped from the glass door but the place was dark, so he walked away. you know, zandi, i maybe a bad boy sometimes, but i have a light heart for people who needs help. for now, i am waiting for the prosecutor's resolution. if nothing happens after i hand him the paper, then let him taste his own bitter medicine.
@coffeegurl (1467)
• United States
29 Apr 10
Well, it sounds like you care, but I wonder what this guy did to the American. And it sounds like he is being secretive and doesn't want help. If the gf left, how is the bar? Did he leave the business? This sounds like a novel, not RL. Sometimes factis stranger than fiction.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
i heard one foreign national too offered him to do business with him in a not so far bar by the beach. i am still not sure if this is the same American national who charged him with the prosecutor's office. i still have no idea what transpire between the two foreign nationals, as i have not yet received a copy of the affidavits.
i saw him this day doing the laundry and cleaning the place. i thought he will going to open the bar tonight. but when the day turns night, i see no lights turned on from inside. and even the room at the second floor. his room is visible within our door, of course not the entire room but you can tell if there is someone or if the lights are on.
but the place is too dark until this moment. my wife couldn't help to expect that he might just lost connection, he may have failed to pay the bill.
well, truly, i love true stories than fictions.
@strawberrychocodahi (4817)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
His girlfriend left him, hmmmm wonder why
after being with her for so long and helping her in the business. Anyway, what you did is right. To help someone for the good cause.
He might be really cautious about people so he was asking you what you want, thinking again of bribe or money. Anyway prove to him that he is wrong and that Filipinos are not like that or all that.
after being with her for so long and helping her in the business. Anyway, what you did is right. To help someone for the good cause.
He might be really cautious about people so he was asking you what you want, thinking again of bribe or money. Anyway prove to him that he is wrong and that Filipinos are not like that or all that. @neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
well, definitely, we could think of the same thing why she left. 
i just hope that someday, he will realize it. that i am not one of those who can be bribe or someone who asks for some rewards, that i am just a friend who just wants to help. i will wait for the documents and when i handed it to him, i will leave him alone if he really don't need my help and clear his name.
i just hope that someday, he will realize it. that i am not one of those who can be bribe or someone who asks for some rewards, that i am just a friend who just wants to help. i will wait for the documents and when i handed it to him, i will leave him alone if he really don't need my help and clear his name.
@eurekafemme (5874)
• Philippines
29 Apr 10
Firstly, let me commend you for such noble intention.There is no doubt about your sincerity to help the poor guy.I do empathize with your sentiments, too, Neil.
However, I feel like it is partly SOME FILIPINOS' fault why some foreign nationals couldn't help but doubt our integrity.Some times those people are abusing their power thinking that these foreigners are stupid rich.. Sad thing, isn't it?
Nevertheless, I m still a Filipino and I couldn't help being sad because of the way your neighbor had perceived all of us... He has forgotten that there are still some good men out there who are sincerely willing to help them without expecting for monetary rewards...
I hope that thru you he will give us another chance and see that we are not all rotten eggs...
God bless your kind heart, Neil.:-)
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
that's right, there are really such abusive people in position and this poor guy just thought we are all the same, and that is saddening for me, to all of us who have kind hearts. thank you for the very nice comment, my dear.
@Professor2010 (20156)
• India
29 Apr 10
Well if you consider him as a friend, than help him, it is immaterial if he considers you as friend or not, as human being we need to help others, i am sure he will realize this one day, at that time you can feel contended and happy..
Thank you so much for this nice discussion, cheers 
God bless you.
Prof
Thank you so much for this nice discussion, cheers
God bless you.
Prof
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
29 Apr 10
hi prof. that is one thing i have not thought about or i just have not realized. that i will be contended if the help is accepted. and it will be a great relief if he will remember my name and will consider me as his friend.
