Life Has Seeds

Tweet

When I was a small girl, my mother doted on me, & it harmed me. How? She made me think I was so special that I was above all others. Perhaps all mothers feel that way about their children, but most have the good sense not to let them find out what they think. I was brilliant. I was beautiful. I could sing, draw, & write. I learned to play the piano by ear, & had plans to be an ornithologist, or maybe a writer, someday. I was the smartest, most beautiful child ever to grace others with my presence. I knew this because it was true. It had to be; my mother assured me of it daily, & she treated me like royalty. I had lovely handmade clothes & clever handmade toys. Music lessons with a private tutor. Books galore. The best cuts of meat, & the finest of everything. I didn't like the crusts of bread? Mother trimmed them off. I ate only the hearts of the huge, sweet watermelons we grew. Heaven forbid I should be vexed with a seed. A bother to remove, &, why, I might even choke on one! So, hearts only. I, a mere tot living in the poorest state, on a small, if productive, farm, grew used to being treated like some princess. Not that I lacked chores--I did my share, but I suspect that, had I disliked them, mother would've done them for me. Eventually I grew old enough to go to school. Imagine my surprise when my peers didn't think so highly of me! Ah, the decades of therapy to get over that! You see, Mother did me a disservice by teaching me I was above others. She never taught me how to struggle, & that very thing primed me to have to struggle, harder than most, I think, because I had to fight against my nature, my peers' disgust with me, & my own lack of strength, having been deprived of the one thing I needed most--the muscle to fight at all...& to fight as well against my own mother. I don't think she ever truly understood what drove us apart. But you see, I learned, eventually, that life has seeds, & that it's everyone's duty to learn to deal with them, & still know how to enjoy life. And until I learned how tough life could really be, & how to cope with it, I never understood how wonderful life really is. That was the day I promised myself, never, ever again, to try suicide. That was half & more of my life ago, & I've kept that promise, even though I've had much harder seeds to get past to reach the sweetest part of it. I tell you now, learn to accept the seeds. It's the only way to be really happy. Maggiepie "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences." ~ Robert Green Ingersoll, lawyer & orator 1833-1899