So I Am Wondering, "What's With Our Children Today?"

@neildc (17239)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
September 25, 2011 10:40pm CST
Hiya myLotters and friends! Yesterday, we did some kinda make over with kitchen of our rented house. So everyone was busy all over, cleaning and sorting out things which need to be disposed and could be recycled or could be sold to the junk shop. Sunddenly, a commotion was heard from one of the rooms. So we run to the room and checked what was happening. Joel the special child and Joan, one of a kind stubborn step-daughter were fighting. We learned that he punched her on the chest when she started murmuring something on him. Their fight actually started the night before with a cellphone battery. I could not really understand why all these things are happening with us. And so I asked my wife, "what happened to our kids?" I cannot find any wrong with me, with my wife, with how we raised them. I always thought I taught and raised them good and to the best that I believe the best for them. ~~ NEIL™~~
6 people like this
14 responses
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
You're not alone in that predicament Neil. Having three kids myself, it's really irritating when they fight among each other for some petty things and worse is when the start to hurt each other. My solution is when they start to fight and hurt each other they'll all get spanked. The fault of one is the fault of everyone.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
spank? does it still applicable to teens and young adults?
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
If there's one thing that a parent should not do to their children particularly teenagers is to spank them otherwise they'll run away. Besides, teenagers now can be a big as their parents already if not even bigger so you have to command respect otherwise they'll take you for granted. That's why respect should be taught early in life and one of those lessons is for them to be accountable to each other. Siblings should be there for each other no matter. I don't really intend to spank them all through their teenage life, in fact I hardly spank them at all. As they say, you have to bend a trunk then you have to do it while it's still young otherwise there'll come a time when you can't bend anymore.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
though i grew-up with not so violent father, i never wanted to experience what i had experience with my father. he's a good father though. besides, i avoid hurting my kids especially my step.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
26 Sep 11
Hi sweetie. Nothing worng with the way you and your wife rasied them. That's kids for you. Always some stupid thing to argue and fight about. You should see me and my sister. And we are suppose to be grown-ups.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
i hope there's really nothing wrong about me sweetie. yes they are kids, but i assume they should be matured enough now. of course, it's a different story for joel.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
26 Sep 11
I don't think you have to worry about Joel sweetie. Just be patient and give it time.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
i have more patience with joel but with joan? nah... with what happened yesterday, i hope she had thought about her shortcomings...
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
26 Sep 11
No matter how you teach them siblings fight at one time or another. WEll I dont think I did I am five yoears older than my brothre I took up for him when growing up my sister came along I was out of the house and had my 3rd child 9 days after she was born so I wasnt around to fight with her. BUt I know my kids fought once in awhile they get over irt and sometimes make them closer
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
27 Sep 11
yup but wishing time away just makes all older
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
i wish time will run faster and see them get closer with time.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
it doesn't matter to me Lakota. we will all come to that.
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
26 Sep 11
Kids are kids. And they go through stages and peer pressure is such that kids take on behaviors from their friends. Kids are growing up so fast now days and learning all sorts of things from friends and just watching others. We have to hope that we have taught them correctly in their formative years.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
we keep teaching and guiding them all these years. and it's a disappointment to see them acting these ways.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Sep 11
I know. That is the heartbreak of parenthood.
@celticeagle (159058)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Oct 11
Thank you for the BR!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
26 Sep 11
I only have one child and I am the one she usually fights with if she’s in a bad mood lol! My sister in law has two children and the fighting is a regular occurrence at her house too. My husband is from a family of six children and he said that the noise and squabbling at home was at times unbearable, yet now, as adults, he and his siblings are all well- adjusted and successful people who are very close to each other. It is part of the growing up experience I guess. It is like kids that go through the teen years and turn into unpleasant individuals who hate mum and dad until they get to about twenty and love them all over again!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
I wish thay was the case with me. My daughter was an only child and hated me fromt he start for no reason. She will be 20 years old, married, just had our first grandbaby and she still hates me and my husband. She don't come around no more. She is hateful and there is no excuse for it.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
for me it's fine or normal for siblings to have a fight but no hurting no physical contact. that makes me more disappointed. how she hated you that much stephcjh?
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
27 Sep 11
I am sorry to hear that about your daughter stephcjh!Have you attempted to talk to her about why she feels that way about you? Who knows...As an adult with her own baby she may be more opem to talk things over...I pray that she will...
@Danzylop (1120)
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
This is common among siblings, when the birth spacing between them is close, when there is competition for parental attention, or the complicated personality brought about by how they were raised under various atmosphere.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
The way they are acting these days is worse than just arguing with a sibling. It is hands on alot of time and foul language and total disrespect even though they are related.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
they are supposed to protect each other but it's really disappoints me seeing them like wild animals fighting at each other.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
you could have a point there.
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
I have no idea. We raised our daughter right also and she is now some person we do not even know. Wild, disrespectful and you name it. She does not even claim me as her mother anymore. It is nuts!
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
what?! this is the worst situation i heard today. and i am really disappointed with the children of today.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
26 Sep 11
Hi neil, It is a common thing fight among siblings. Once they grow up they will be best siblings. I know it is difficult time for parents when the kids do fights. I have two kids 4 and 10 years old they often do fights and I am really tired up with them. I tried to make understand the elder one many often but seem no result; he behaves like younger than his younger brother. However I noticed that if am angry on younger one for any reason, he is there to pacify him by hugging and all…. they do fight but I can felt the bonding in between them.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
I have siblings to and we argued, not fight. It is very different these days.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
upsetting to the point that when they fight, they fight. but i never saw them bonding like siblings. joan is the younger one and joel has special needs. and i was always hoping joan has an understanding with the situation but no.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Oct 11
They are their own people, and you can only do so much. But when they are older, most likely, your good example will come shining through.
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
28 Sep 11
Hi Neil, it happens to my kids too. they got those violence from media such as TV, PS or internet. it is hard to avoid such things so it won't impact our kid's attitude. i only pray when those things happen to my kids that in the next day they will realize that violence is not a solution to any problems
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
28 Sep 11
i also think about that ifa that one day they will realize how immature they are today and will change their attitude for the betterment of themselves, not only for their parents and other siblings.
@ifa225 (14364)
• Indonesia
31 Oct 11
maybe this is one phase that they just have to pass through if they already know the effects of violence and feel how bad it is they can try to not doing that and behave better
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
26 Sep 11
hello neil, I am also a parent dear bro. I know what you feel and your sentiments. Thu it's only a petty fight, but constant quarrel seems like "hey...can't you stop even for a day?" or maybe their day won't be complete without fighting. Fine..if it is only for day...but what if it is "for every hour" Hugs to the little bully
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
26 Sep 11
if i could only let them fight all day that they want but no cause there's their mother who are more concern and i am more than concerned with her health. if only i can make her happy and delighted all the time.
• Philippines
28 Sep 11
Don't be sad, maybe they will outgrow this soon and will have an attachment to each other. They will soon realize each other's faults. Just continue to teach them good lessons in life and your effort will be enough to make your everyday life peaceful.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
28 Sep 11
i just hope it will happen soon and quickly.
@ckciasigurl (2081)
• Italy
27 Sep 11
hi neildc actually this kids today is different maybe because of the generation , here in our country an example is a 13 years old boy kill a 16 years male because of jealousy and a 12 years old boy kill his classmate , as you can see they are still young but there mind is developing it is really hard to have a kids like this but i can say that it is just depend how there parents guide them.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
even how much parents guide them, if they are stubborn, they are stubborn. i am just sad hearing the same story blaming parents when kids get bad.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
26 Sep 11
Hi neil, I have two children aged 14 & 9. And at times they fight like 'tom and jerry'. They will start fight for all silly things and at times it is really upsetting. Some time back I put a condition on them. It was the one who do not start fighting will get a gift / treat on weekend and they did not fight for two weeks. That did a bit change but children are always children. At 14, my daughter feels she's senior and my son should listen to what she says. My son is very moody and he has his own opinions and views but as long as he is moving in a right path, i have no voice there. Someone has rightly said if you have two children, you are a referee of a boxing match. We have to worry only if things are out of our hands. My husband mostly tell both the kids to follow 'give and take' policy.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
26 Sep 11
Alot of kids these days act like wild animals even though they are not raised that way.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
27 Sep 11
two children could be more bearable than having three and more.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
27 Sep 11
hi stephcjh, i know they are not raised in that way as the parents would never want to teach violence at home. May be they are too much on a 'self centric' way rather than 'co-operative', 'forgive and forget' type like their parent's generation. yes neil.. it is fine to handle two, i wonder how my mom had bought us up .. we are four, thought at that stage, it used to be a joint family and the womenfolk were at home to manage the house and take care of the children.