how to be a big time failure
By pergammano
@pergammano (7682)
Canada
December 21, 2011 11:00pm CST
I'm outing myself! Today as some know, I had my God son, to bake for Christmas with me! I failed, on every front! As I skulk into the park and lick my wounds.
First mistake...first he wanted to bake Peanut Butter cookies, first taste, I failed he wanted soft cookies...I put in Baking Soda, makes them crunchy..HE wanted soft! I said, I'll melt chocolate and we'll dip them. I melt Chocolate, we dip 1/3 way thru he tells me he hates DARK chocolate..too late, danG! We then make Peanut Butter Cups..I go to store, buy White Chocolate, mix with already melted Dark Chocolate...and it doesn't meet his taste values! Still tastes too dark!
Failed again. So now...Pull Toffee...What I forgot I must use Cane Syrup...I only have Corn Syrup...hop on my bike, traverse to the only two stores here...not available on this Island! College try..(crystallization point very different) I cook, boil to 275...take off heat, by the time we can handle it...and start to PULL (remember it's Pull Toffee) we get about a foot (buttered hands) it BREAKS...I Fall on the Floor) with ultimate laughter...WHAT THE HECK?
Simplest tasks..and I failed like??? Have you ever had a dog day like this..please share..as I realistically faced NO challenge at the beginning of this day..BUT now I am questioning..my name!
5 people like this
20 responses
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
We sometimes overlook to ask the person we would like to please, like in your case your godson. That always happens because we are right away excited of doing what he wants. 
Maybe next time, a clarification as to the specification of what they want should ensue first.
But if i were in your shoes, for the first time that i failed, i would have asked him to go out with me and search for the cookies to his specification. At least, i wouldn't be tiring myself. 
Maybe next time, a clarification as to the specification of what they want should ensue first.
But if i were in your shoes, for the first time that i failed, i would have asked him to go out with me and search for the cookies to his specification. At least, i wouldn't be tiring myself. 2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
You are right, I should have asked first! I did remember to ask about any recent food allergies..but as my son is grown, I forgot how at that age they have really distinct likes and dislikes....and they change weekly, too! I explained the "good stuff" about dark chocolate..but just couldn't convince him it was best...LOL!
Your little "Bakers" in your avatar are tooooo cute!!! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
27 Dec 11
Children are not into something that's abit of bitter yet. It will take time before they will grow to like it.
Those cute chefs are my niece and nephew in Australia. 
@celticeagle (159319)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Dec 11
Hey, you tried. You did more than alot of people do. I would say you did quite a bit. If a recipe calls for soda you otta put it in. And it was a learning experience. How are you supposed to know he doesn't like dark chocolate? You did good and you will do better next time.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
Thanks for the ego boost, dearheart! I will almost bet tho' by the time we get around to baking again...He will want HARD cookies and DARK Chocolate! I completely forgot how quickly their likes and dislikes change in this day...and age! WHAT I did remember to do tho, was ask if he had developed any allergies..like peanuts, gluten, dairy or whatever! I can never remember kid's having allergies to foods..as a youngster...but you sure have to be careful today!
Merry, Merry Christmas..and Happy New Year, may all your Joys be real JOYS..and all your pain be Champagne!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159319)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Dec 11
I dont recall any allergies when I was a child either. We were tough back then. 
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Sounds like you had a rough baking day. I have those,too.
Not many people make soft peanut butter cookies. I made soft and my husband wanted hard. So he used a fork and cross hatched the dough and put them in the oven.
Never made taffee or toffee. My husband grew up making that and it's one of his fondest memories.
If it made you guys laugh, perfict.
Sounds like you had fun anyway and that's important. If he didn't like the cookies, then great. You're part of the fight against childhood obesity. Also if he doesn't like what you make, it will motivate him to learn to cook for himself.
But I bet the taffee moment will live in his memory forever. Take
care.
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
Thank you, dearheart! I am NOT so sure that the little Monkey wasn't having me on....as he took home more than HALF of everything! He informed that all his friends (key word ALL)loved crunchie peanut butter cookies, and dark chocolate, which we used in the Peanut Butter cups, that's why he was taking soooo many! I just think I was lovingly duped!
Pull Taffee...was a Christmas Eve tradition, and always yes, provided a lot of laughter! Course, we thot every family did this..and now I find most do not know what I am talking about. We also made, mashed-potato mints...and that was the only two candies that we had! I did learn something, tho! I forgot to get "CANE" syrup...and only had "CORN" syrup...Corn syrup reaches a much harder, faster chrystallization point..so must be worked with really fast!
If you like, I will send you the recipe..and you and hubby could have a good Christmas laugh, one year..makes lovely gifts, too! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year..to you and yours!@writersedge (22563)
• United States
1 Jan 12
That would be a lovely personal message, recipe for taffy pull. Mashed potato mints are a new one on me.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Dec 11
omgosh, i think yesterday would have been a good day for u to have stayed in the bved'all day long', lol.
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
JO...9 is an mischievious age...warning you, dear. Ryan is close, and their little minds can really outwit you..you do feel a little foolish! But I have to give him creedence, I am easy (when it comes to children) to be manipulated...and he did, with aplomb. Did he learn that from me..please, JO, say no! LOL!
2 people like this
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
22 Dec 11
But the real question is ... did you have fun? If you can answer "yes" you did have fun, then it was not a failure at all.
You had quality bonding time today, which is worth far more than a bunch of cookies or sweets not to mention that is what will last in your God son's memory. The pull taffy incident sounds hilarious, and I bet you both laughed about it. Some of the funniest and "best" times I can remember are when things went horribly, hilariously wrong and we could laugh at how ridiculous the situation was.
You had quality bonding time today, which is worth far more than a bunch of cookies or sweets not to mention that is what will last in your God son's memory. The pull taffy incident sounds hilarious, and I bet you both laughed about it. Some of the funniest and "best" times I can remember are when things went horribly, hilariously wrong and we could laugh at how ridiculous the situation was.2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
DUH..(hangdog look)..the Little Monkey has had me from the moment he was born! I sure hope he didn't learn his "duping" tricks from me! And, you are so right..the hilarity of me, on my buttinski, flat on the floor when the "Pull Toffee" broke, was far tooooooo funny! And after, thinking, all day..WTBlazes...I think little Monkey had my number, cause his "take home" left me with WAY less than half. A real GOTCHA!3 people like this
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
22 Dec 11
LOL! It sounds like you are a failure at being a failure!
I suspect that he did "get" you, especially if his take home amount was a lot more than yours. My little one will do that sometimes as well ... she will complain just to tease me and to hear herself complain. Then, when we go to eat what we have made that she insists she doesn't like, she will be highly indignant if she does not get some!
I suspect that he did "get" you, especially if his take home amount was a lot more than yours. My little one will do that sometimes as well ... she will complain just to tease me and to hear herself complain. Then, when we go to eat what we have made that she insists she doesn't like, she will be highly indignant if she does not get some!2 people like this
@allknowing (130063)
• India
22 Dec 11
"Too many cooks spoil the broth" even if they are just two as in your case You know what I mean. The moral of the story is let those who want dark chocolate keep those who do not want dark chocolate at bay son or no son. Full Stop! And talking of disasters in kitchens that is a common phenomena. I had high fever when what I tried to do did not turn out O.K.
The best was when I was newly married and both of us were trying to impress each other with our culinary art only to land ourselves in a mess. We both ventured into making chapatis. When the dough was thin we added more flour and this went on till there were 19 chapatis but we just wanted 4. By the time they were ready it was past midnight and we both went to sleep as we were dog tired.
You know what I mean. The moral of the story is let those who want dark chocolate keep those who do not want dark chocolate at bay son or no son. Full Stop! And talking of disasters in kitchens that is a common phenomena. I had high fever when what I tried to do did not turn out O.K.
The best was when I was newly married and both of us were trying to impress each other with our culinary art only to land ourselves in a mess. We both ventured into making chapatis. When the dough was thin we added more flour and this went on till there were 19 chapatis but we just wanted 4. By the time they were ready it was past midnight and we both went to sleep as we were dog tired.
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
Oh, my revered friend..I needed you as my sanity Angel, yesterday! Today, I look back, and realize...the little Monkey (ashamed maybe) duped me good...Not like what we did, there is just mere morsels of our culinary creations left...MOST went home with him. He got me GOOD! But a a so needed time, I can laugh heartily today!
I have so missed your presence!1 person likes this
@allknowing (130063)
• India
23 Dec 11
You are right there with me where you belong. I had a disaster this morning. I was baking my favourite date and walnut cake and you know what I forgot to chop the dates. Nothing would let them mix with the dough and finally I did it by hand. These things happen when I have guests around peering!!
It did turn out good finally! Here it is - nothing much to look at but believe me it tastes yummy!
It did turn out good finally! Here it is - nothing much to look at but believe me it tastes yummy!1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
22 Dec 11
Come on Pergammano! CHeer up! Soft cookies one day isn't too bad an ordeal after all[however, I agree we feel miserable when our devoted loving task becomes a fiasco]; and 'pull toffee' was indeed a lot of fun isn't it?
"EVery cloud does have a silver lining " and I am sure that Godson would have been in splits seeing you. Who does not have such days?
As I told you it never really rains but pours. I have written a true account of my culinary escapade as a novice. The end is of course fictitious where I have exercised the writer's liberty of an aesthetic lie.
Read it when you find time. It is a short article.
http://voices.yahoo.com/humor-but-was-not-intention-please-2693766.html
2 people like this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
22 Dec 11
Don't be so hard on yourself! He'll probably look back in years to come and treasure the memories of that day. I had a day like that years ago with my two sons--we put salt instead of sugar into a pound cake and various other small disasters and that was about 15 years ago. Today, my adult sons laugh about that day and say it was one of the best memories they have in their childhood! Nearly every day I thought was a disaster, they look back on with fondness and laughter.
So don't beat yourself up over it or think you're a failure. In a few years your godson will probably remind you of it with laughter.
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
Thank you, dear dragon54u...I needed a little "feel better" talk! And yes, you are sooooooooo right...a Memory! Honestly, how do you know these little tykes...I see him almost daily...am I not paying enough attention. I think, honestly...my number was up..and my dear God son, had it! For something he didn't like, there is WAY less than 1/2 left for my efforts. I think I might have had a "gotcha" day..the kind only 9 year olds can hand you...LOL!
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
22 Dec 11
well we all have them. hope yours dont last. ive had that for 3 or 4 days in a row lately. 
then suddenly one good day. then back to messing things up again. good luck dear. better days coming. @pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
So sorry to hear that, bunnybon! As I said before, the only real thing that took a beating, was my ego! Especially after his Mother had just said;"I want Lucas to learn to bake from one of the best!" Ego--inflated, then it took a wise little 9 year old to deflate it..LOL! Beings my son is 31 this Christmas, I had totally forgot how little one's could be so opinionated..LOL!
May all YOUR JOYS be real JOYS..and all your pain, be Champagne! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year..dear!
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
23 Dec 11
LOL, it sounds like you had quite the day. I bet your God son had a good time, even if he didn't care for things made the way you make them. Oh, well live and learn.
Next time just tell him to dunk the cookies in milk, they definitely will be soft.
Don't feel bad, you didn't fail. How were you suppose to know he would tell you he didn't like this or that, or this is the way he likes his cookies.
Next time, ask him in advance and find out exactly what he likes. And if his mom makes candy or cookies ask her for her recipes that he likes. Then take him shopping with you to get the right kinds of chocolate, etc.
Chin up, you 2 will have something to chuckle about when he gets older.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
24 Dec 11
Sorry, so long in responding, I was called into work last nite..a new wrinkle in my plans!
I live in the Southern Gulf Islands...in between Vancouver, B.C. and Vancouver Island! I can see, both from Bluff Park..a real bonus...as I see the lovely lights, but know the city invasion is OVER THERE..LOL!
All your happy greetings, wrapped up and returned to you with great happiness! I have to work Christmas Day/Boxing Day, but my mind will be with ALL of you and yur families! Very BEST of the Season!1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
Thanks a million, dear one! It was one of my "duh" days...as I thot I knew the "little mitey-mite" quite well, as I see him almost daily right now (Crhistmas break) and every weekend thru out the year! My son being grown, I forgot how fast their likes and dislikes change...but I did remember to ask if he had developed any food allergies. Who woulda thot...hard vs. soft cookies...Dark vs. Light Chocolate? You're right tho...I did tell him the hard cookies were better for dunking in hot chocolate!
His Mother is NOT a baker,, and that's why I offered! I live on a small Island, with only two Little Corner Grocers (like a 7/ll) that don't offer much of a choice of anything...so lot's of times, choice is not an option! Just like "Pull Taffee" asks for CANE syrup...and only CORN syrup was available...and it makes quite a difference!
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. May all your JOYS be real JOYS...and all your pain be Champagne!@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
24 Dec 11
You are very welcome. Sounds like you were having one of those blond moments, lol. Sometimes we forget how fast the younger generation can change, they can change from minute to minute on certain days.
I am sure the 2 of you will have a wonderful chuckle about this when he gets older.
So where do you live as you were saying you live on a small island.
Merry Christmas to you and yours and have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
Hugs
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
22 Dec 11
Hi pergammano
I should be saying - Oh dear it is been a bad day...and stuff like these... But No! I would say that it is good that it happened today. Christmas is still a few days. And when things go all wrong on one day, the next many days are much better and happier. So to me, it is the right thing to have happened today.
I have been though many such days the last year before September. And everytime a day went bad, the next many days were really great.
The last one (still fresh in memory) -
Delayed Work resulted in Delayed Payment, A refund that cost me more to send the money back(The client mistakenly issued me 30 USD more and asked me to refund! Would you believe I had to pay three times the Money I needed to Transfer as Bank Service Charges - Simply Because Paypal India doesnt allow any Indian to send money?), A refusal of work which was about 70% done... All that on one single day... and yes, a small fight with my love of life too All this on a single day... But things have been better since then.
I should be saying - Oh dear it is been a bad day...and stuff like these... But No! I would say that it is good that it happened today. Christmas is still a few days. And when things go all wrong on one day, the next many days are much better and happier. So to me, it is the right thing to have happened today.
I have been though many such days the last year before September. And everytime a day went bad, the next many days were really great.
The last one (still fresh in memory) -
Delayed Work resulted in Delayed Payment, A refund that cost me more to send the money back(The client mistakenly issued me 30 USD more and asked me to refund! Would you believe I had to pay three times the Money I needed to Transfer as Bank Service Charges - Simply Because Paypal India doesnt allow any Indian to send money?), A refusal of work which was about 70% done... All that on one single day... and yes, a small fight with my love of life too All this on a single day... But things have been better since then.@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
Dear son, my ego so needed your complimentary massage! Gosh! I am the God Mother..supposedly something to revere..Could I not step up to the plate. I did, tho...teach him the stragedy of "Bones" (dominoes) hopefully that was right. To be honest, I was looking for sympathy, because I so..looked forward to this day!
My dearest, your disaster was NOT a creation of you..YOU were the victim! My ID put me in my place...LOL! Takes a young'un! 1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
Hey Mike...what do you mean..do I have a communicable disease Iam NOT aware of ...?
Oh, the nuances of a new apparition...should keep the Holiday homefront smouldering for the holiday season...LOL!
Dear Friend,.. I stumble..I fall but it gives cause for reflection when you are duped by a 9 year old.
Yes, today, I lick my ego...and??? Thanks, dear one!1 person likes this
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
22 Dec 11
Hi!
I believe communication will work fine on your situation, you should ask him in detail what he wants and what he likes for the cookies. and also experience count in making cookies.
I have experienced the same when I first starting to learn how to make a icy skin mooncake, I used a wheat flour instead of cooked rice flour and I have calculated wrongly the shortening almost more than 10 time that it required, and the worst part was I was so confident and I make a very big portion and though that I will be successful, and of course, I have wasted all the material and ended up all were went into the dustbin. That lesson taught me that I should always start with a small portion first and if that successful, then only make a bigger scale. I was just over confident on myself.
I was just over confident on myself. 2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
You are right...almost, dear soul! This little Monkey has been a part of my life, forever, it seems! I thought I knew the nuances! Not! Even tho' I sound totally chagrined, I am almost proud of the little tyke..he manipulated me good! Thinking it over..it's all good..a little Monkey cheeks gave me cause, to pause!
May all your JOYS be real JOYS and all your pain..BE CHAMPAGNE! Happy Holidays!1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
22 Dec 11
Hi dear pergammano
Don't be sad about it. Just consider it a bad day. I think first you can ask your God son what it is he really likes, get all the details before making one. So that you have it all on your mind. I hope he won't forget to say some details so you won't feel sad when he said something. So I hope you and your God son decides to bake once again, 3 days more to perfect the cookies
Don't be sad about it. Just consider it a bad day. I think first you can ask your God son what it is he really likes, get all the details before making one. So that you have it all on your mind. I hope he won't forget to say some details so you won't feel sad when he said something. So I hope you and your God son decides to bake once again, 3 days more to perfect the cookies
2 people like this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
Thanks, my dear enelym...This is my God son, dear one! I thot with all my heart I knew his whims in life..I do spend a great deal of time with him...I hate to say, but I sap some youth from him. I really think my post, I hate to admit..that I was duped by a young'un. whom is part of my moulding! It was a gotcha day..and en==I have a weak portion of our creations left...I shared, he the larger portion. But the huge culmination of his coupe, was the Pull Taffee breaking...and me on my butt! Hurt..biggest, my ego! Thanks, precious!
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
20 Apr 12
Personally I think everyone has been there at least once in their lifetime, and in reality many times when you will look back you will know you did the Best you could and how were you really supposed to know. Many times we do try to do things and they might not always turn out as planned, but we need to just learn to always make the Best from them and go on from there.
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
22 Dec 11
My dear Ambie...hate to say it..the little Monkey had my number! Thinking back, I now see the little glint in his eyes...but honestly, I laugh now, a 9 year old tripped me up! He took home a big, big box of cookies...he DIDN'T like...even his Mother (upon retrieving him) laughing said.."you don't like them, put some back!" A gotcha day....and YES it is good to laugh!
Thanks my dear...a special HUG to you and yours!1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Dec 11
hi pergammano well I think we all have days like that but too
perhaps you did not fail altogether as as my own mom wou ld have said to God son you may not like crunchy but take it or leave it, as thats how these turned out, so he did not like dark chocolate so tell him look little godson dark chocolate is good for your heart and will make you big and strong,.the best thing you did was to laugh and make your god son know you are not God you are just the godmother and he has to deal with things the way they turned out. my week has been like that,mousetrouble computer mouse I mean and finally my son gets me a computer mouse, and it wor ks beautifully but I get sick really sick. awful sore throat so now finally my throats noi longer sore so now I have pink eye and its almost ?C hristmas. I have not even got to fi nish my C hristmas shopopong and my best friend who would take me is also ill with the same virus. so here I am with onehundred dollar gift that needs to be stuck in my bank account and no way to get to the bank so will have to have my son do this for me.ah the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray as robert Burns said.So unless I get over this pinkeye quickly I may be in quarnatine ofn Christmas day bah humbug I hope it clears up before then
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
23 Dec 11
Hatley...dear MsHatley...I am sooo sorry that there is an awful BUG going around, of all times, now--to ruin so many Christmases! I had a horrible bug..and it lasted nearly (hate to say it)FIVE weeks! Infected sinuses, rhumy, cold, feverish..tummy always on the verge...and never far from a toilet..so I havean idea...BUT Lordy, I have never had Pink Eye..I do remember it being more prevalent when I as younger...It is very painful, isn't it? And highly infectious..too!
NO...that would be the worst Christmas ever...quarantine, that can't happen Ms. Hatley..I pray in the two days left you will heal, miraculously!
With all your ups and downs...I now feel like my bad day was just a walk in the park! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, dear lady! @JenInTN (27514)
• United States
24 Dec 11
Oh my dear...not to worry...it sounds like a memorable day and that in itself is the true importance. Ok..so the cooking didn't turn out as planned...but there was that wonderful time you spent together "messing it up" Sometimes messing it up can be a bit more fun than everything turning out perfectly timed anyway. I would rather spend a ton of time messing up than a moment than a moment without the thrill of trying. Take care my friend and know that dog days are just sometimes rainbows in disguise. You found one!
You found one!1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
24 Dec 11
I think you can re-name me..."Calamity Jane!" It's been a while Jen, that I doubted myself so tremendously...and hilariously! But it renewed my faith in the younger generation...but right now, I am not sure how???? I am talking double batches of everything..he took MORE than his share, and I found out yesterday morning, he took them to the Pub...but cautioned everyone they were DARK Chocolate...too funny!
I was called into work last nite, I work TWO shifts today...plus a long day Christmas day/Boxing Day...so by the time T.J. comes home the 28th...I will be a BUMP..and I have 11 people coming for his birthday on the 29th..so ALL I want for Christmas..is a BIG bag of energy..LOL! Luv ya, girl...please have a very special time...2012 will be our coupe year!
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
30 Dec 11
hi dear pergammano I am just playing catch up with all the mails as well as I can thats why I am so late in responding now.
I didnt know there is soft and crunchy peanut butter cookies. I made simple soft cookies once but would prefer the crispier ones.
Reading your posts reminds me of what happened to my husband when we were not married yet. We wanted to bake and he chose to make cookies, started to prepare the dough and then he said it doesnt work so I came to his help and instead of using rolling pin and cookie cutters I just cut the dough with a knife when it was firm enough to. LOL
@francesca5 (1344)
•
23 Dec 11
it sounds like a very ambitious project, if it were me i would have been proud to have made anything under those circumstances.
yes, he obviously was enjoying the game of getting you to do what he wanted, but as long as you were happy, and it was fun, then it doesn't matter.
the toffee making sounds like fun, and though it may not have gone according to plan i am sure a boy of that age would have absolutely loved it.
if you have an inner control freak that part of you may not have liked it, but the fun part of you must have loved it, and so it sounds like a success to me, as its always good when that side of ourselves wins.
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
24 Dec 11
You might of outted me, francesca5...(hang dog look) when I do things, I like them to be right!
But after all the sweet things you have said...I concur, we did have fun! Made memories....and I learned that a 9 year old can dupe me...LOL!
May you have a very special season..and all your dreams come true!
