Peace Offering
By Amber
@AmbiePam (120987)
United States
March 20, 2012 4:10am CST
I was given a peace offering - in the form of Pop Tarts. Some of you may remember a discussion I did about a month and a half ago. I had finally had it with my sister after an e-mail conversation that just sent me over the edge and pretty much told her how I felt about her sister skills. A lot of you know how I help my dad take care of my dementia stricken mother (I live about 15 minutes away), and although she lives about 3 hours away, she never comes to help (she gives music lessons a couple days a week from her home, to keep her from being bored, not because she needs money). And not only does she never visit to help, she never calls me to see how it's going, or to ask, hey, how is it seeing mom reduced to two year old behavior and watching our father die a slow death inside his heart watching the love of his life deteriorate so quickly? No, she never does that. Nary an e-mail either unless I e-mail her first about something.
So I was determined not to be the first to contact because I'm always the peace maker. But on my birthday (March 1st) she sent me an e-mail. She had already sent me a card, which I expected no matter what because she probably figured my dad would ask. But she sent me an e-mail, and one that was friendly and dare I say, somewhat loving. A few days later she e-mailed me to ask if I wanted something that she and her husband were getting rid of. I thanked her, but declined. Still, I had initiated an e-mail to her. Then late last week she sent me an e-mail telling me she was going shopping on a sale and would I like some free Pop Tarts if she bought them for me. Well, I don't eat them since I'm on budget and have tried really hard to smart and healthy. But I like them, plus, who turns down free food? So I said sure. She sent me a picture after she bought them, which I included with this discussion. I had no idea she would buy so many. Anyway, my dad saw her Monday afternoon and she gave them to him to give to me.
So I'm going to send her a thank you note, and I guess this is her peace offering to me. Makes for an interesting peace offering. I feel good about how I didn't cave to contact her. I think a lot of you know I've made concessions for my sister for the sake of maintaining harmony, but I'm glad I took a stand.
Tell me about some of the peace offerings you have been given. Or maybe some you offered others. And when you see the picture of the pop tarts, which looks the best? I've never tried some of these flavors.
7 people like this
16 responses
@Kojigirl (188)
•
25 Mar 12
I couldn't see the picture very well, but I'd forgive my evil brother if he bought me some Pop Tarts. I live in England, and just spent a fortune getting some blueberry ones as I haven't had them in years. As a displaced American, I think I'm losing it.
Your sister might always let you down, it's probably the way God made her, but keep being strong for your dad and mom. After all, when they're gone it will be you and your sister.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Mar 12
I have a Souix friend. her whole family is pure blood souix.her husband at times gets abusive and we had a big arguement him and I yrs ago about it. I hated and wouldnt speak to him for a couple of weeks. but I missed my friend and he obviously missed my husband at the times, friendship. So, one day he brought by some beads (we did beading together, both families) and said, "We ordered to much and I thought you might like these."I couldnt help but laugh, and said"So its kind of turned around. this time indians are offering white men beads?" well, she finally got rid of him and is living well on her own. btw. 
2 people like this
@carolscash (9491)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Well, I don't know that it is a peace offering so much as maybe her way of feeling better about the fact that your relationship is going better. I have eaten many of the Pop tart flavors and I enjoy some of them. I like the Cinnamon Roll ones and the Fudge ones are good as well. I also like the ice cream flavored ones. I hope you enjoy these as well. I would thank her for them and I would ask her if there was a way that she could come to care for mom one day so I could have time to do something for myself. It never hurts to admit that we need help.
2 people like this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
20 Mar 12
That's one heck of an interesting peace offering indeed! I agree though when one can't afford the lil luxuries of junk food it's nice if someone else splurges for you.
I am not a fan of pop tarts excatly, some aren't too shabby when warmed but I wouldn't call it breakfast by any means, more like desert.
I think your pic showed fruit flavors. I dunno which is best of those just strawberry would probably be the better choice. I like the s'mores and the alike they have. But it is rare for me as well to buy them.
I am glad she's hopefully realizing a few things. However, it does break my heart what your family is going thru with your Mother. You are very thoughtful and considerate of you parents. I imagine it hurts badly to see your Mother in her condition as well as how badly it hurts your Father. 
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
20 Mar 12
So for a month and a half, you get all of these Pop Tarts? If you stop communicating now, you'll get more just around the time you run out! Or, if there's other foods you like, you could send your sister an 'FYI, I also like...' message. I'm not really meaning that in an unkind light, either.
Some people are just not wired to deal with anything on an emotional level, my brother is one, perhaps your sister is another. A message above would let her know in a some what humorous way that you acknowledge the peace offering, but without touching on why it was needed. At least that gives the opportunity to resume the sister-sister relationship without rehashing.
Years ago I had a grape Pop Tart and it was wonderful, so I'd probably pick the wild grape first. When is your Pop Tart Party? 
2 people like this
@success1625 (532)
• Trinidad And Tobago
20 Mar 12
Ok maybe it's just me, but while the pop tart is all well and good, a better peace offering for me would've been her actually making some steps to visit your mom and dad.
I ain't trying to stir up no mess or nothing, but she was able to see your dad to give the "peace offering" as you call it, but couldn't drive a little further to give it to you in person, or see your mom???
I will say this about you: You're a very patient,giving and forgiving soul. Wow you are sweet. May GOD continue to bless you, because what you're doing isn't easy.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's ill health, and I hope that GOD continues to bless both you and your dad with the strength needed to handle this situation.
I've never had a pop tart so I don't qualify to enlighten you as to which and what looks best.
Stay strong sweetie, much blessings to you. :)
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (120987)
• United States
20 Mar 12
: ) Oh definitely a peace offering like that would be better. But that's not going to happen. And she wasn't trying to make up for the lost time with my parents. This was simply to get me to talk to her again. I think she was shocked I had cut all contact with her. She's used to me always being there. Growing up, it really was Mindy World (my sister's name is Mindy). When we'd be at the dinner table, I'd raise my hand so I could talk. That was the only way I got a word in. To raise my hand like I was in class. She's just always been in a place in her head where I couldn't reach.
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 12
I think I agree with some others here. It may well have been her way of making herself feel better rather than a peace offering. But then, if that's the way you took it then that's what it is.
Your sister does sound very selfish though. Being 3 hours away is a pain but, if she has nothing else to do, there is no good reason why she can't help you out even once a week.
Anyway, to the question. It is a very interesting peace offering. I had forgotten about Pop Tarts. They were about around here in the 90s but then disappeared. Although, I have discovered something similar called "toast-me". I like them. They're the same kind of concept but they are breaded and have chicken and ham and stuff in them (well, I guess it's all reconstituted mush which once wrote a letter to a chicken farmer, but they taste nice!).
Sorry, have I gone off topic again? I'm always doing that! I can honestly say that I don't recall ever giving or receiving any peace offering. I don't tend to notice if people fall out with me. If they do, it's up to them and I will treat them as I always have. I don't fall out with people myself. If one of my sisters was like yours, well, let's just say, she'd be sorted subtly!
Enjoy your Pop Tarts.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
21 Mar 12
It sounds like she is looking for an ice breaker. Enjoy them. I am glad that she is the one that contacted you. I cannot think of any peace offering that I have received at the moment.
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Well at least she is trying. I think the cinnamon roll flavor will be the best! Enjoy!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Mar 12
Hi Ambie, I am not big on pop tarts, but that is a great peace offering..I doubt my sister would offer one, because she is certain she is right and I am going to he11. I did call her on her birthday, got her voice box and left a Happy Birthday greeting, but she Never returned my call. I guess she is really mad that I no longer deal with her on FB, but I wasn't going to continue to allow her to leave degrading remarks on my wall either..
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
20 Mar 12
That is one weird peace offering but maybe it was a friendly gesture she was hoping you would really like. I just woke up and am trying to think of some of the peace offerings, and I have to admit I think they were all centered around food as well. Though I've not had many peace offerings so to speak.
Now Cinnamon Roll looks good, I've had smores and cookie dough ones too and those are awesome.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
20 Mar 12
It's nice that she is doing this, but at the same time I am wondering why she is acting like nothing ever happened. Why can't she apologize and say she'll make an effort to try harder or be nicer?
But still, it's nice she's making some sort of effort to get back in your good graces.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9460)
• United States
20 Mar 12
That is an interesting and different peace offering. But since she knows that you like them it works. I'm glad that you took a stand. And I'm sorry to hear that she doesn't help ask about how your mother and father are doing. But I know that my siblings would be the same way in some areas. I have a brother who is autistic and if anything happens to my mother I'm the one who will have guardianship of him (mind you that I'm the youngest and I do have a family of my own). By other siblings just aren't responsible enough to take on such a responsibility. Even though this will require a lot of care I know it is what is best for my brother. I also could see them acting the same way your sister does. I hope that your sister tries to help more.Because it is good to have support system when you are a caregiver. She should at least be checking on you and offering to give you a break sometime.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
31 Mar 12
hi dear Ambie sorry for the late response. Last weekend I didnt get to all my e mails cause I was recovering from the small move from my rented apartment back to sweet home.
When we were still engaged I once told my then husband to be that if we get into an argument it would be a great idea for a peace offering when he prepares his wonderful homemade Tzatziki the following weekend. Sadly we didnt stick to it. Would have been a looooot of Tzatziki so far.........
The pop tarts really look great. I would like to try these with cinnamon as I love that spice so much.......
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
20 Mar 12
I am flabberghasted..and when I am, Ambie..I, in my mind, resort to OLD adages....and the FIRST one, that comes to mind is; "beware of Greeks bearing gifts!"
With that being said, I am in awe of you...you are such a kind and gentle, and more-over trusting soul! I guess I am getting too old...and dubious--as I would be parusing that gift, for "strings attached!" Sounds bitter, doesn't it, and that's what I admire about you...accepting things as they are!
Given her track record, I would be wary...AND moreso, for the fact she picked YOUR FAV., as a peace offering!
With all that said....BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dearheart! Little did I know, replying to your other March discussion..and the first words out of my mouth "the Ides of March"...that I was relating to a "Miss Pisces"..I am at the other end of the month..next Monday (an aries)!
In the spirit of good things..enjoy your gift...and I truly hope there is magic, for you..in the coming year!
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
20 Oct 12
I can't remember any peace offerings that I have given or received, but I like to hear about good things that happen to people. Thanks for sharing this!
