Crazy offer from the ex
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85135)
Shingle Springs, California
April 19, 2012 8:12am CST
Well I never did say he was sane. lol
He offered to buy me out of the house (no, the other offer did not work out).
He started the conversation by talking about how low prices were, more foreclosures, we could only expect to get so and so much, bla bla bla. Laying the foundation. Then he said, so what if we start with that amount, subtract all the fees we would pay if we sold the house, subtract the mortgage, and he pays me half the difference?
Well, I ask you, why should I:
1. take his doom and gloom amount or
2. subtract fees that we never actually had to pay
I think we should get an appraisal, subtract the difference, subtract the mortgage and fees we actually do have to pay, and then he can pay me half the difference.
Then the children...
He works in a restaurant that serves breakfast and lunch. He leaves around 5 in the morning. So when he proposed that the children be with him during the week, I really had to wonder which head he was thinking with. And I pointed out that he can't take the children to school in the morning, some days he can't pick them up either. So he says I can come get them and take them to school.
Huh? And who's going to wake them up, make sure they eat, brush their teeth, pack the right stuff, etc. Oh well, alarm clocks he says.
No no no... The kids stay with me during the week. Crazy man. I'm not going to leave them alone from 5 Am when he leaves until 7:30 when I take them to school.
Who says an alarm clock will even wake them up.
Sometimes I really wonder about him...
5 people like this
20 responses
@GardenGerty (157837)
• United States
20 Apr 12
Has he changed jobs? Wow. Normally around here, for a buyout the spouse doing the buy out assumes the mortgage and pays half of the equity that has been earned. Simple as that. At least that is what happened with my friend. He could pick up the kids after school so you would not have to worry about them, and take them to whatever activity they had, then he could feed them, and bring them home to you, I guess. I agree, however, that they should sleep at your house so you can make sure they have a good start for their school days.
1 person likes this
@crazzydolphin (3636)
• United States
19 Apr 12
wow he really does have some issues.
i also would not allow someone else to worry about getting the kids up and ready. much less expect him to make sure they have the right things ready for the school day. now i think it should be a "joint" relatioship with the kids but it seems to me that he will only have to do some work if they stayed there because you would have to do everything else. i do not know how to say it without it coming out wrong but i will say this....
do what you know in your heart is right and what works for you. dont let this man ruin your life by doing this to you. it isnt fair to you or the children involved for him to change EVERYONES life around to make it more "convienant" for him.
1 person likes this
@BarBaraPrz (45655)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
19 Apr 12
He's still trying to control the situation.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
19 Apr 12
Wow, I hear you..No way would I trust my son to another to get him ready for school, I can barely do that job and I have been doing it for years..(Yes literally at least 24 years, because then I had my first child going to school and by the time my youngest started school, my third child was just graduating, so I NEVER had a break in between).
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
30 Apr 12
Wow, spontaneous conversation, I love it...
Not right now, but sometime, in the last couple weeks when I am here, I am on my new (used, but new to me) laptop..I still need to get the card so I don't have to plug into the desktop, but at least I can get online if my husband or son are on the computer...
Not right now, but sometime, in the last couple weeks when I am here, I am on my new (used, but new to me) laptop..I still need to get the card so I don't have to plug into the desktop, but at least I can get online if my husband or son are on the computer...
@celticeagle (159832)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Apr 12
I certainly agree with you on the house. And does he ever parent the kids? I mean really parent them. Sure doesn't sound like it. If he believes kids are going to just jump up to an alarm, get ready and be where they are supposed to be by the time they are supposed to be there without input he definitely needs some help.
@celticeagle (159832)
• Boise, Idaho
1 May 12
Well that is good. As you can tell I don't have a very big/good opinion of men at this point.
@WildHorses (718)
• United States
24 Apr 12
There are a couple of strong points in the responses. In a courtroom, no judge would take out those fees if they weren't there in the first place.
As for thinking he can manage the kids in the morning, he's clearly wrong. In the afternoon I understand but even then he gives you a hassle too at times.
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Apr 12
not a hassle, he just isn't alwaya available
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
19 Apr 12
If you went to court they take the value...subtract the owed amount...and split the difference....anyway that how they did it when I got a divorce years ago....so that might not be the same type of way they evaluate it now......the kids do need someone to send them off.....and if they didn't get up etc...could he get back home for rides etc to school?
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Apr 12
yes that the typical man. not ever knowing what all a mom ends of doing 24/7 for her kids. and some never get it when they never had to do it. and enough is changing for the kids that you need to tell him they are already dealing with enough and he wants them to start doing more?
@savypat (20216)
• United States
20 Apr 12
I want to point out that you will have life after divorce and after your children are grown. So make sure that the choices you make now ae the ones that you feel
comfortable with, You don't want bad feelings to haunt you for the rest of your life. I think that appraiser would be worth the costs and you would get fair market value from him/her. The thing that needs to be decieded is whether to take the costs of selling from that market value. As to the children's location during the week, I think you have reality nailed there. I came from a home of a very bad divorce and saw both of my parents affected by this poison the rest of their lives.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
19 Apr 12
Sounds like R is talking out of the wrong head! Liek alot of men he has it all figured out and the truth is he has not! Mom's,at least most,like you are so much better then dads in getting their kids up and ready for school! I hope you can have the kids during the week! R is so cluelss on this subject!
With the house I never have bought one much less had to sell one! I think the appraisel idea is a good idea! Then maybe R could buy you out then! I hope this doesn't drag on! What you have been through,I would of had a nerveous break down by now! Hope things get better and take care!
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Apr 12
Easy to say - he thinks he is being perfectly reasonable
@scarl3t (89)
• Greece
19 Apr 12
He is playing hard to get, but deep inside he knows that he can not control the situation, on the other hand you can not control the situation either, seriously you both have issues and children are in the middle
you need to leave your differences aside first take care of your children and then take care of the rest, the house isnt going anywhere
my opinion: kids stay with mom and dad visit or take kids on the weekends or on his day offs, I wouldnt accept any other option especially as far as my children;s concern
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
19 Apr 12
This is simple. he finally sees that you got a man! You Really Wanted a divorce. And He may even assume you had your guy on the side . So now he is saying. " He won't get My kids." So he thinks I'll keep the house and throw the b!tch out! let her wh@re around without my kids. The problem? One you are a good mother, two, the kids Need you , 3 you Just met your fella and He Can't take the place of their dad. So all of this is his ego being broken. Most husbands Say And Think their wives can never get anymore else. Well, well , well! Just take it with a grain of salt.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
19 Apr 12
I think him and you know who's man just needs help... SERIOUSLY.
Is he serious??? Dawn, go with what you know will work out for the best . . . it's not just about a gut feeling . . . my gawd it's about common sense!! 
@netrod (182)
• United States
19 Apr 12
Wow this is a problem for sure... The financial issues you could get some help from a realtor and find out for free just where the market is right now in your area... My sister is an agent and helps people make the right choice all the time... She is there to make money of course so if its not going to be profitable in the long run she is just wasting her time... As far as the Kids go whom ever can give the most safe, secure and attentive structure to their life is very important... Being there to get them up and see to their needs is very important, I know... Both my parents were off to work hours before we got up and leaving us to fend for ourselves was not the best idea... I usually was late to school or did not go and have had a difficult time with education ever since...
