Going along with what everyone else wants, just for a peaceful life.

@jugsjugs (13038)
June 15, 2012 7:31pm CST
Well for months now if not years I have gone along with what everyone else wants here, as well as at the drs, hospital, well everyone.I am getting tired of trying to voice what I want or do not want and no one wants to know, as they have all mapped my life out.I feel like the nodding dog on an advert, yes yes yes, no no no, anything for a peaceful life.
6 people like this
18 responses
@ybong007 (6657)
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
You have a choice to ignore what other people are saying but I don't think that same choice apply if it's against your own doctor's opinion.
3 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
The drs keep giving me more pills, etc and they are making me feel so ill and weak.I feel that I was a lot healthier being on less pills a few years ago to what pills I am taking now.I have to take a form of viagra that is male form to open my blood vessels and they have upped them and I have lowered them back down, as they are making me ill and nearly passing out all the time.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (112477)
• United States
16 Jun 12
That just is not right. It is your life, and your body and doctors are not infallible or omniscient. I have been fortunate as an adult to have doctors that usually listen to me. I try to listen to them as well, but I seldom see them. What do you want that you are not getting? How can you get it? Who can you tell? Who will be a voice for you?
3 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
All I want is to have less appointments, less pills, less blood tests, as all opf these are a pain to get to and very time wasting as well.I want to be able to drive again and return to my job, but have been told that I will not be able to work, which I do understand, but I want to drive a car again.Im on morphine and with lack of energy, as well as concentration have been told that I can not drive, even if I get a car adapted for my health reasons.I have friends that say they are going to pop in and they stay all day and I get so tired and I get to the stage that I feel ill.To me popping in is for an hour, not 6 or 8 hours, it crazes me.
1 person likes this
@loonys (418)
16 Jun 12
My friend use to say that her time will come and it did.. I'm still waiting for mine. Hope you will get your time soon.
3 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I hope I will get it soon as well.It feels that people are draining me of all my energy at the moment.There are people that want to just pop round and they then stay all day, where as I have to lay down sometimes to try to ease the inflamation, hard to do when you have people here.
1 person likes this
@PoppaDave (438)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I too feel this way. But I hear a voice from God that says to just be me. Thats what I live by!
3 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I just feel that my life will always be the same now.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
Hi jugsjugs, it is nice to hear from you again. It is sad to hear that you have been in this situation for a long time now, but please let me say that, as humans and as a patients, we have certain rights that medical practitioners should uphold. We have the right to ask about everything the doctors or any health care practitioners do to us. They are just human too and might commit mistakes. Besides doctors and nurses have the obligation to explain every procedure they do to their patients. You have all the right and these medical practitioners knows that. Take care always and keep your faith in God. God Bless!
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I feel that the drs are constantly wanting to see me and put me on pills or upping a dose of pill, then they want bloods and other scans done, I know what things they are having to keep an eye out for, but it crazes me that the only time I now go out is the hospital, drs or to see schools.I get so tired so quick and I know it is the morphine I am taking, along with my health problems, but being tired also makes you grumpy as well.I have friends that come to see me and they out stay their welcome, as all I want to do is sleep on rest.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
Well, if it is necessary then we could not do anything. But i know feeling so tired and grumpy is uncomfortable. Anyway, just keep your self busy in mylot, at least you can relax your mind a bit and divert some discomforts for a while. I pray that you be okay, just be strong and hold on to God. Take care!
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 12
I know the feeling all too well. Due to Randy losing his job in September and us having to move to Nevada in October things have been horrible. My parents told us we could live here until we get on our feet again. We told them we would help with food and pay one of their bills (the heat bill). It has been hard to do since Randy's health has gotten worse and now he is collecting SSI and SSD (it will be coming in August) and I have been taking care of him. I am not ready to work because I am always worried about randy. My parents expect and randy and I to continue living here and pay their bills. I refuse to help them out and need to move out before I say anything that I will regret. I feel so unwelcome here and I feel more like a guest rather than her daughter. She has not been nice to randy since he broke his foot and even though she does not say it I can tell that she thinks that Randy us a deadbeat because he is not working (it is not his fault he is hurt). The other night his late mother came to see me. I felt her sitting next to me on the bed and she was telling me what a great job I am doing, how proud she is of me and how I am a great wife. I know she is gone, but I really felt her presence.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I do think that people that have passed do visit us every now and again.IO get so tired and so fed up of not being able to do things, as well as feeling low and ill all the time.I had made plans to go back to work to my favorite job, being a carer and when I was told that I can not work any more, I think that finished me inside.What with not be able to drive a car either anymore, this means that I have lost something else that I enjoyed doing.I hate having to ask for help and I would rather struggle or go with out, but I get so stressed out not being able to do the things that I was use to doing a few years ago.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (122949)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Jun 12
My daughter had been doing that with her son for a long time. She has just recently started making him accountable and setting strict boundaries. Things are so much nicer here now. Quieter. I don't have to listen to her yelling and threatening cause she is so upset. She is doing much better and I am really proud of her. I guess you have to do what you have to do.
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
Some days I do feel so stressed out, as it seems that I have to be polite and play the nodding dog for everyone.I feel that the drs are not helping, as they keep upping my pills, as well as changing and adding to the pills that I am already taking, the pills are making me feel sick and tired all the time, but they say that I need to have them, or I will feel a lot worse.Friends say that they are popping in to see me and they end up staying all thats all day and I get really tired.
1 person likes this
@roberten (3131)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I understand what you are saying, I've done it myself at times. The strange thing is that when you go along to get along, you feel so out of control. The whole point of agreeing is to have peace but you end up with self-distain, and general resentment for others. No matter what you choose, you're going to suffer some form of discomfort. You just can't win for losing.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
You are right there that you can not win no matter what you do.I am getting very tired and sometimes I know it sounds horrid, but I wish friends would not keep popping in, or staying all day when they say they are going to pop in.I mean some friends even want to come to my appointments with me, my mum says they are trying to help, but I can tell you I hate the feeling of people trying to help and they really hinder me in the process.Some days I could just scream.
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23464)
• Singapore
16 Jun 12
That's a form of sacrifice in return for peaceful life. But it doesn't necessary mean it's good. Too much of going along with others will make us lose ourselves in the long run No matter what, we need to think of ourselves instead of thinking of others before us A peaceful life means we have to be at peace with ourselves, find inner peace within us not via others.
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I think that I have been sitting here playing the nodding dog far to long.I have friends that say they are popping in to see me and then they end up staying here all day, it do not help when I am in pain or need to lay down or even fight being tired.I have so many appointments as well and trying to keep up with them, is getting me down as well.The drs keep upping my pills that are making me feel worse than I did.I could scream.
2 people like this
@winterose (39899)
• Canada
16 Jun 12
yes it certainly can be difficult I know
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
Its all the upping the pills and then changing them, then there are all the teats and appointments.I am sure that the pills are making me worse, as they are making me feel so ill, I feel tired all the time as well, so that do not help.
1 person likes this
• Canada
16 Jun 12
That's not me at all. People had better run things by me, before decisions ae made. I'd rather have my freedom, than peace in the world around me. I am not going to surrender my will to everyone else, just for the sake of calmer waters, so to speak. If you want something, SPEAK UP!!! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR RIGHTS!
2 people like this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I feel that I have been to quiet for to long now and I feel that there are all manners of people that tend to take advantage of my good nature.I am getting so fed up of keeping all the appointments that the hospital, ot plus schools give me that this is what I exist for.I get so tired so easily, for in my eyes no reason, that when people come to see me like friends, I just wish they would hurry up and go.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20245)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I am always surprised when I ask, has anyone asked the person what they want? For some reason this is the last asked question. Anyone who is an expert assumes that they know what is best and it is always that word assumes that causes the trouble. Of course I know this is not always possible, sometimes the person in question just can't voice his needs. In that case all we can do is what we do best.
1 person likes this
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
18 Jun 12
I've learned over the years to hone my verbal jujitsu skills for the arrogant and over educated. When I started back at college I learned some very interesting things about communication from a human relations teacher and ever since then I have been noticing that it is a lot harder for people to get over on me. It isn't in what you say, but how you say it. Sometimes people like doctors need a reality check. They spend all of thier time in thier work place competing intellectually with thier peers and at the same time compartmentalizing thier own existence apart from thier patients. This leads to that arrogant over educated vibe. We've all met doctors who are obviously smart otherwise they wouldn't be doctors, and yet they are clueless. These guys need a kick in the butt. Once you snap someone out of the mindset of "I'm superior because of some title or degree" you can get them to listen. It is just most people don't know, or beleive that they have to be nice.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
I have explained to the drs that their pills are making me feel worse, rather than better.I think that there are times where as I feel like saying I aint taking pills anymore, but I am worried that if I do that then I may become worse off.I am also feeling that I have to have friends stay here all day, when they have said that they are just popping in.I get really tired and then I get pain worse, as stress do not really help at all.
@pergammano (7691)
• Canada
16 Jun 12
First, let me say, dearheart..it is soooooo very good to hear from you! I am sorry, you have resigned yourself to just going along with all and sundry...but I am reading that you are doing this just for some peace in your life.....but I am truly sorry, NO-ONE is willing to take the time to hear what you have to say. I hope you have the strength soon, to put down your foot, and take back your power!
@jugsjugs (13038)
19 Jun 12
Thank you.I do try to come on here when I feel able to, as well as try to stay on here as long as I can.Some days I wish that I never had so many friends, as they all seem to say that they are going to pop in, but end up staying all day when they come.I get so tired so fast and when I do I need to go to sleep, or at least lay down.I think that the drs are making me feel ill, as all they keep doing is upping my pills, as well as giving me more pills.
@AmbiePam (51136)
• United States
20 Jun 12
I know how that is! I can't imagine adding the role of wife and mother to all that as well.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36659)
• United States
19 Jun 12
This is something that seems to happen more to mothers than to other members of a family because of the fact that all we really want in our lives is to have harmony in the household and in the family. I am noticing, however, that now that my children are getting older, I am actually stating what I would like to have happen in my life more often than I used to do in the past. And, amazingly, it has not disrupted the harmony in our home.
1 person likes this
@tawny_24 (351)
• United States
18 Jun 12
Don't do it. Be who you are. Stand up for yourself and don't take any crap from anyone. Don't let Doctors push you around, they can literally kill you. Don't let people project thier weaknesses and fears onto you. Don't be afraid of them. Most people push others around because they are too afraid to be who they really are and are meant to be. They would rather go along with everyone else, just for a peaceful life. Let me ask you, when you fall asleep at night do you feel peaceful for letting people walk all over you? When you go down the wrong path for your soul because someone else said you have to or they won't approve do you feel peaceful? Don't be a lemming jumping off a bridge. Be the one sitting on the hill watching everone else jump. Think about this: While you are busy going along with what everyone else wants do you ever catch yourself pushing someone else away from thier dream? I only ask that because usually what happens is that person who is good and only wants peace, and therefore sacrifices that desire to fit in usually ends up becoming the kind of person who crushes other people's dreams. They may not be that person on the inside, but outwardly that is what they put out to the world.
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
18 Jun 12
Hello Jugs. I tried to [post this yesterday but myLot wouldn't let me. Better late than never. I see that you must be feeling some what better to be pasting any thing on here, It so frustrating when no one will listen to you, I know most of the Drs I have seen in the last thirty year Only one has really listened to me. Some of the meds that work for me can do a real number on my blood and internal organs. It's not like I'm not aware of that fact. Some Dr.s don't want me to continue on them but I don't want to be totally dependent on ant one else. I know what makes me feel good. I know it is difficult to be strong and stand up for yourself when you don't feel good. When they don't listen it feels like they don't care. Hang in there and keep strong. I'll be praying for you.
1 person likes this
• Janesville, Wisconsin
23 Jun 12
yes yes no no can only help in some areas.. But in matters if your body if something is making you feel more sick and more week you have a right to ask.. What are my other treatment options? What else can I do other than pills? .. Where can I get a second opinion? ... You have every right to get opinions and advise from other doctors too or even to change doctors if they are making you sicker and not more well... You have a life to live.. do not let everyone decide for you you have a right to say no I do not like this take me off this and find another solution...or try a different med... it may take tme to wean you off one treatment or med to try another... but if its not helping and making you worse.. its worth it..