Why do you think some people don't get married?

Philippines
January 5, 2013 10:42pm CST
Marriage is one of the longest surviving institutions in the world. The reasons why people get married vary from person to person, what is true is that almost everyone does get married. Marriage is a bond of commitment between a man and a woman. Why do you think some people don't get married?
1 person likes this
37 responses
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
I have a colleague at work who said that she is not ready for marriage right now because she is still supporting her siblings' schooling. So I guess responsibility is one of the key factors that affect people's take on marriage. Those who are still attached to their families and have responsibility find it hard to commit into marriage which is another responsibility before they have fully fulfilled their duties to their family. Other factors I can think of are fear of commitment or maybe immaturity. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
I may assume that she has no boyfriend yet because she is very committed to her family first I can tell. And we are the same though. My focus is still on my parents and sibling. I can also say I might be immature still.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Hi there, no my colleague has a boyfriend but her boyfriend has a baby. She said she is fine with that and she doesn't plan on having her own baby much more getting married. I don't know if she will change her mind in the future but it looks to me that she is still enjoying her time doing what she love! I think when you get married, your actions will be limited, you can't go to where you wanna go without permission first, etc. It sucks in a way. But anyway, for me I guess marriage is fine as long as you are truly madly deeply inlove. Or something like that
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
Well, thanks for sharing. We should respect what she thinks and believes and after all if she is happy then let her be happy.
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
6 Jan 13
i think it is because some people don't believe that you need that piece of paper in order to eternally bond you together. some people get married in name only, like for business reasons. then again, there are some people who stay longer together unmarried, than people who are married. i believe that if two people love each other, it's up to them whether or not they want to get into a contract with the state or not. it really has nothing to do with the bond two people have with one another.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
This is the modern view. Although some of my friends tell me that it is somewhat oversimplified and undervalued, sometimes,it really comes to this. I once read that marriage is a on-going process and it need partners to work at it. And only that piece of paper is a reminder of that relationship if anyone asks. Although a marriage certificate may mean a piece of paper for some,some people view it differently. I agree that the modern times have opened a lot of possible relationships and arrangements and it is for the two parties to choose which one is the best for them, without adding the complications of third parties and outside forces.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Yeah. Marriage is an going process. It does not end in the marriage ceremony. In modern times, there are many kinds of relationships built and ruined.
@Absinto (2385)
• Portugal
6 Jan 13
In some countries people tend to wait a long time to get married because of the lack of money. Especially with the way things are now a days, people are lucky to have a job to keep their lives minimumly comfortable nevermind to have a wedding. Most people i knwo my age at leat (20) get married but a small 50 person wedding or less to cut down in all the expensises and to stay out of debt. Others dont see the point in getting married because married or not you are comprimised to a person and it isnt some paper that is going to make it oficial. It is just a signed paper. The people that are together a long time have memories and a marriage wont change any of that.
@Absinto (2385)
• Portugal
8 Jan 13
In my country that doesnt matter. Just because you are pregnat doesnt mean you get married.
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
I am in the Philippines and people often get married at an early age. Young ladies got pregnant and the men fulfill these responsibilities and they get married. They can't do nothing about it. It's already there.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Thanks for commenting.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
6 Jan 13
Maybe they have tried marriage and it just didn't work for them and they don't want to give it another go. They probably don't want to feel "tied down." Maybe they just don't want a "ball and chain" (my Uncles words not mine) telling them what they can and can't do. I might try marriage again, but not anytime soon. I am still working on some goals and I want to complete these goals by the time I'm 50. I have much work to do and there just isn't time for anyone else in my life right now. I have the kids and that's all I need.
@Arieles (2473)
• United States
6 Jan 13
I haven't been able to do to much that I wouldn't do if I was married. I'd like to go out more now, but I still have two kids at home, I have to be a good example for them. I like to shop but our funds are limited. Even if I was married, that wouldn't stop me from being my own person.
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
They are your angels and being with them is already very fulfilling.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Sometimes it's better to be single now because you may have time to figure out things for yourself. How has it been for you? I think you have done some things that haven't done when you were married.
@franseman (516)
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
In Western countries 3 out of 4 couples get a divorce as well. Marriage is nothing more then an agreement. Many people get dissapointed later. I was never married because the governments didn't allow it. S what the heck? I live with the one I love. No official papers signed. But happy!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Well, I'm happy for you. You don't need to be married to be together. But in our country it is a culture to get married with the one you love. Just for formality.
@Nursefrai06 (2498)
• Penrith, Australia
6 Jan 13
Marriage isn't for everyone. not everyone is capable of maintaining a successful marital relationship, the world has evolved into ways that people now have diverse opinions about what they want out of life. Some people don't want to have children which is an almost necessary part of any marital relationship. Yet, rest assured, marriage is a choice. Some people just might not view it as a priority while some people just know deep down in their selves that marriage isn't for them and the best we can do is respect them for that.
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
Yeah. Having children can be magical and fulfilling but also a hard situation to maintain. For me, it's more of the fun and smiles that you see in children that makes you happy in your married life.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Yeah. The tuition is so high right now and in return you didn't even get the right education. In college, that's a lot to prepare for so that your children will sustain the education and graduate on time.
• Penrith, Australia
8 Jan 13
That's true, having children is so expensive, around here, kindergarten costs around 40,000 pesos per year, and that's just kindergarten if you want them in a decent private school.to be honest, I don't think I'll ever be ready for such things like marriage or kids, there's just so much things I want to do and focus on, and having a family will be a ng hindrance to it at the moment.
@celticeagle (156162)
• Boise, Idaho
6 Jan 13
Being one of the longest surviving institutions doesn't mean it is anything wonderful. Marriage is socially correct only. It is the thing to do. I think that some people don't get married because they are selfish and self serving. They are stuck in their ways and they don't want someone trying to curb their interests or change them in any way. And still others are just unable to committ.
@celticeagle (156162)
• Boise, Idaho
8 Jan 13
And being honest with ourselves is very healthy.
• Philippines
8 Jan 13
Yeah. Maybe I am kind of in that way also. I am selfish at times and don't want to intrude other as people don't want to intrude me as well.
1 person likes this
• Marikina, Philippines
6 Jan 13
Like me? Ha ha Marriage is an institution and it is bond between a man and a woman. People don't want to get married because some might not be ready or some people focus other things that made them happy rather than marrying someone. It is because if you are married to someone, well, they are many risks to be involved like money, taking care of the children or training children to be well behaved... sometimes, argument within marriage is difficult. Infidelity can be involved and fighting between children and parents can be a headache too. Freedom is another thing why they choose not to get married. Mingling to other friends, lots of girlfriends or boyfriends that were not serious if they have that kind of attitude, travelling to other parts of country and many to mention is what makes them give too much freedom rather than marrying someone. Well, they don't care if they got old. If they got sick and no one takes good care of them, they can stand on their own if they have lots of money.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Freedom is nice but is boring if you overdo it. Hanging out with friends and lots of gf and bf can get old. At the same time, marriage is not easy. You deal with the family and children in the future, raise them well and take care of your financial wealth.
• China
6 Jan 13
Maybe they are just waiting for the right one.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
10 Feb 13
hi, i think the number one factor why a couple not get married because lack of money,of course we need money when marrying someone,another reason happened here is the family of both sides are not in good term,another thing is no time.those are the simple reason why there are couples not get married.
• Philippines
10 Feb 13
Thanks for replying.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Usually, it is either for feelings or a economic arrangement. It depends on how you view marriage in your life. and how important you consider it. It may also depend on the state fo your relationships and how those relationship starts and stop. People have different and convenient reasons for starting a marriage and breaking up as well.
@blummus (451)
• United States
8 Jan 13
Well, if you marry for money, what do you do if you want or love someone else? Is it acceptable to marry one person and sleep with someone else if your husband or wife does not otherwise please you?
• Philippines
9 Jan 13
Well, that's why many get divorced because they thought they were happy.
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
Thanks for replying. Chinese concentrate on economic views and considers monetary values in the requirement for their possible partner. In these days, it will be considered that money is important in marriage.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
5 Feb 13
I think there are many reason for not getting married...Some people just have not found that special one whom they are willing to spend the rest of thier life with...some don't \get married because they prefer to be by themselves...Some people just don't have a desire to be in a relationship with that one person forever....
• Philippines
8 Feb 13
Yeah. I mean for me I don't imagine myself being alone for a long time. I hopefully want someone who I can love and share my life with.
@ungu89 (1999)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 13
i think everyone want to be married to have partner in their live until the end. maybe they still did not find any that suit them yet
• Philippines
6 Jan 13
yeah. Thanks for commenting.
@ungu89 (1999)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 13
• India
10 Feb 13
I agree with your thoughts on marriage.I respect the institution of marriage and its a respectable one as well.Well,i am single.In my case, its because of the religious things.In Hinduism, we have horoscopes.If the horoscopes does not match,then the marriage is usually not agreed on.Sometimes our astrologer says its not matching and sometimes its the girl's astrologer who says it does not match.It has been sad thing.And i have been going through such things for a long time.My family is equally sad on this front.Hopefully things may get better.On a personal note, i think the big reason people do not get committed to marriage is because they feel the soulmate they found is not quite right.They could delay a little further to find other such prospects and moving on with things.Everybody is looking for more desirable and perfect brides or bridegrooms.After all,its sort of section of things and we have only a life to play with.And this has happened for many people that i am aware of.I do not think money usually hinders getting married.Its the commitment or lack of other such things which forces to delay marriages.Thanks!
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
Interesting. Some cultures also follow some cultural beliefs. I am chinese and we usually only get married to chinese people. Chinese people discriminate other cultures and tend to mingle to only their kind. But me, I am a Filipino Chinese because I live here in the Philippines. I have grown to love this country and I personally don't have any issues with other people in terms of discrimination.
@Goludipe (59)
• Lagos, Nigeria
10 Feb 13
Nice discussion! To me the basic reason why people don't marry is because of fear. Some people are afraid that their marriage can end up in a divorce, some other are afraid because of finance. If you want to marry you first have to overcome fear! As a Christian, it is writing in the word of God that " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." In 2Timothy 1:7. We just have to overcome fear. And remember, marriage is a good thing. God is the Author of Marriage!
• Philippines
13 Feb 13
Thanks for commenting. Generally in life, we have fear in continuing any decision that we make.
@pumpkinjam (8419)
• United Kingdom
7 Jan 13
There are lots of reasons why people don't get married. Sometimes it's a matter of the cost of doing so. Other people might plan on it but circumstances prevent it. Then there are people, like myself, who think that marriage is just a piece of paper and/or a religious requirement rather than anything else.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Some people don't believe in marriage because it's just a piece of paper. What is important is commitment, trust and long-lasting relationships.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
7 Jan 13
Religion. Some believe it is our "God given duty". Others feel that they are called on a different path and that path can not involve anyone else because it takes their focus and time away from their God. There are people who never experience romantic feelings whatsoever. Its really hard to make a marriage work without the right kind of love.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Yeah. You said it right. So before committing, always evaluate and be sure because marriage is a big deal. Different religion offer different beliefs and have different views on marriage.
@Manasha (2719)
• Pondicherry, India
3 Feb 13
Those people are lucky and clever in this world than married people. They are the happiest persons in this era.
• Philippines
5 Feb 13
Thanks for commenting.
@edvc77 (2140)
• Philippines
7 Jan 13
Some really meant for it. They just don't want to have commitment. They want freedom. And some are meant to be single. They just could not find their partners. However, being single is a blessing too.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Yeah. I sometimes feel how am I single up to this day. I've got to find someone to share my life with. Hopefully she will come this year.
@neelia27 (896)
• Philippines
7 Jan 13
there are lots of reason why people don't get married.. maybe they are afraid of responsibilities, don't believe in marriage, haven't found the right one..not all people is capable of being married.. it is a choice and destiny.. but whatever reason they have.. let's just be happy for them if they choose to be single and that what's makes them happy and comfortable.,
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Thanks for replying. Well, they should find someone because they would find someone to take care of them when they get old.
• Philippines
7 Jan 13
For some reasons of course... Mostly, they didn't believe in marriage and commitment because of some heartbreak or broken family issues. The other reason is they got so busy with their careers and being too much driven lead them to that.
• Philippines
11 Jan 13
Yeah. I've observed some of my coleagues are very concerned with their work and are career women. I wonder if they are already married and have plans to get married. The fear of divorce will be there because it is the trend now.