Deal Breaker? Or Not?

Valdosta, Georgia
March 26, 2013 5:51pm CST
So I was reading this story where this girl and guy were going to go bungee jumping. They get up there ready to jump, and the girlfriend says I can't do it I'm scared. So the boyfriend says I will count to 10 and if you still don't want to do it I am okay with it. The girlfriend says sorry I just can't do it. So, the boyfriend tells her to hold the rope. She pleads and says don't push me off, please. He says I won't, I would not push you. Right after-he pushes her off! As she goes down she yells up to him I am breaking up with you! That would definitely be a deal breaker for me. Trust is such an important part of any relationship, if you cannot trust the person you have nothing. I would not be able to trust my partner in life if he just pushed me off a cliff, rope or not! Especially knowing I am afraid and don't want to do it. It would most definitely be a done deal for me at that point... So, mylotters-deal breaker for you or no?
10 people like this
32 responses
• United States
26 Mar 13
I probably would have had a heart attack on the way down. Ohhhh, I would have been so pi$$ed at him and yes, probably would have broke up with him too. How could he be trusted after that one?...that's actually scary. If anything he should have supported her and let it be since she was terrified. I think if he would have left her alone, she might have done it at a later time. Wrong on his part for sure.
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Yeah, I am super afraid of heights so I would not have gotten up that far anyway but still, so wrong... And I agree with you, if he let her be and gave her space and freedom of her choice she might have tried again another time. But he was too pushy.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
I almost used your first name, ugh! BRAT! Lol.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Not your name???
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
26 Mar 13
I agree, after she told him not to push her and he did. I would have lost all confidence in him.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
and another thing what if something had gone wrong with her jump then what as he forced her and if she was hurt badly it would be all his fault too,
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
I would have too. A man is supposed to protect, not push!
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Your right, and if there is no confidence hen there is nothing at all. Thats how I feel about it...
1 person likes this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
27 Mar 13
This is really a deal breaker for me and I am not a fan of someone who knowingly uses both his hands to PUSH me into harm's way. I know and understand that this may be recreational but I am also aware that it can be done together - tandem. It is about being together and the fact that he decided to push just shows how selfish and disregarding he is. He definitely did not have the slightest bit of sensitivity and most of all, honest. I cannot even respect such a person. Bungee Jumping is considered extreme sport and not without a reason otherwise the activity would not have a million dollar insurance accident policy attached to each signed up participation. The least he could have done would have been attaching himself to his girlfriend to reassure her all the way. Retrospectively, I believe that's what relationship is about taking the leap together and free falling together but not pushing you to test the rope and collect the insurance policy after, should something happened. If I were the girl, I would not hesitate to grab him along and release my grip while we are midair.
@artemeis (4194)
• China
28 Mar 13
Sadly, there are a lot of these verbal chivalric men out there who would not hesitate to get their women to be the guinea pigs to test the ropes and collect the insurance after a mishap.
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Mar 13
Yeah it would be a deal breaker for me too for sure! No he was not sensitive toward her feelings at all which is terrible. If you care about someone you should not purposely hurt or scare them. Yes if he would have went with her that would have been a much better idea. At least then she would have felt more comfortable. LOL, I would have done something to hurt him too!
1 person likes this
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
I agree, some men can be so bad sometimes.. no, most of the time. happy easter..
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
26 Mar 13
This sort of thing is done all the time to people who have issues with heights. The person doing the pushing thinks they're helping. To be forced into doing something I'm not ready for ticks me off. They've got no right to decide the right time for me and God save them if they try. That would certainly be deal breaker. He lied and pushed her off after she had had begged him not to. If he went that far, what else will he do?
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Mar 13
LMB...you're too funny! I would have pushed him off too..without a rope!, and I don't feel bad saying it! Up above I said I would have cut his bungee in half, and you can take that anyway you want too, hahahaha! cupkitties....I agree with you all the way...if he went that far, where else would he go and he obviously thought this was funny. I don't see anything funny about it, and he would have found that out after he was done.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Yeah that would not be helpful to me, it would just make me want to push them off a cliff without a rope!! Sorry, that was a little mean huh? Lol. Exactly, how would I be able to trust someone who just lied and pushed me off a cliff?!?
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
Yup...I win!
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Mar 13
I agree with you. The woman said 'No, I don't want to jump' and the guy thought it would be funny to push her off anyway. My question is this though..was there no-one supervising the jump for safety reasons? Surely that person should've said to the guy, 'Look, your girlfriend doesn't want to do this,' then punch him on the nose!
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
26 Mar 13
Too right!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
It would not be funny too me and I think most women would have reacted the same way she did, I would have punched that guy if I made it alive and then laughed at him instead! Lol. I don't know, it didn't say if there was someone up there with them or not. I would imagine there was a supervisor of some kind though... And whoever it was should have told the guy to leave her alone!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
hi fellow mylotters ikf there was a supervisor when I got through slugging the boyfriend who shoved me off I would also find that supervisor and slug him too right in the gut.
• United States
26 Mar 13
Oh you better believe it! That would end it for me. I would probably press charges on him too for assault if pushing me against my will.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Yeah me too! He deserved having charges pressed against him. While I was reading it I was like no he did not push her, oh my gosh he did!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Mar 13
hi bigfoot I have never slugged anyone in myl ife but if someone shoved me off when I told them I was too afraid when I got to the bottom I would really sock that fellow so hard his head would spin.that could have been really bad too if anything had happened to her as she was not even prepared for the fall. i do not know anything about bungee jumping but I wo uld assume you must be prepared for the fall before you jump at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 13
Imagine if the bungie cord broke? Imagine her back or neck got whiplashed? Anything could have happened. What he did could be considered battery because he pushed her off the cliff.
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
27 Mar 13
IF I survived it, YES!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
Yeah exactly, if I survived he might not have! Lol.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
27 Mar 13
Yeah... I'd've been looking to shove HIM off something!
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
26 Mar 13
I think that's a little off.... I would never push someone if they really didn't want to do it. Of course I would also tell them not to go up there with me either if they didn't intend to do it. People can be so fickle, you know? I take a lot of crap from people because people always think I'm not serious about something or that I'll change my mind or I don't really mean what I say. I don't get that at all... I mean, if you know me WELL, you learn one of the first things about me is that I will TELL you what is important to me, as well as what is NOT important to me. Also, I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Trying to sway me or change my mind is neither appropriate nor is it going to work 99% of the time. Just because OTHER people don't hold value for certain things does not mean it's the same for me. Just because OTHER people change their mind every time the wind blows a different direction has no bearing on how I am. As far as bungee jumping, sky diving, or gliding - or any other dare devil activities, I would probably do them, and if I committed, I wouldn't back out even if I got scared last minute lol. People who commit to something and then back out bug the hell out of me. If you are at all unsure, then don't even commit to begin with.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Oh I agree. I would have NEVER said I would do it in the first place if I didn't actually want to do it. But then again he still had no right to push her off, especially after she begged him not to. I am the furthest thing from a risk taker, lol but everyone knows that about me... Funny thing, I kind of like both feet on the ground most of the time. Haha!
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
27 Mar 13
I think it is possible that the boyfriend thought that he was helping her and thought that she would appreciate his "help" after they jumped. But even if he had good intentions I don't find his behaviour okay. When she says that she doesn't want to jump I think that he should listen to that instead of trying to help her face her fears. She didn't ask for that kind of help and I think that it is wrong of him to assume that he helps her by pushing her. I don't know if it would be the end of the relationship if it happened to me, but I would definately tell him my honest opinion about the thing that he did. I would be furious and I would not try to hide that at all.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
I think he probably thought he was helping too but probably not the best way to do it. Right, if someone says no it is no. They should not be pushed like that! I would be furious too and it would have scared me too. I would not have been able to trust him again after that, I mean that is something serious being pushed that way.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Could be right.. but no means no. In any language.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
27 Mar 13
Trust is one of the biggest issues why I don't date anymore! To me men can't be trusted! It is bad enough I have trouble trusting other people! Trust is so importnat in life! If you don't have trust,you don't have a relationship! Period!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
Yeah without trust there is no relationship, I would have broke up with the guy and then punched him too! Lol.
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
Same reason I say, most men are dawgs... hate them....
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
I'd probably break up with him if he was just a boyfriend. But if he was my husband, then I would have the right to torment him after!
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
Yeah it was just a boyfriend in the story. I know my husband would never do that to me so I don't have to worry about that one.
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
Break up with him?? Id just kill the guy...
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
27 Mar 13
It would be a deal-breaker for me, too. If someone promises me something in such a crucial thing (it's not like forgetting to bring milk from the grocery store, it has to do with someone's FEARS), and then out of fun or their own personal reasons, purposedly not keeping them, they have just bought a ticket for break-up with me. Trust is the most important thing in a relarionship.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
I agree with you, playing with someone's fear is a serious thing and a serious promise to break! Trust is the most important thing, once it's lost it is gone...
1 person likes this
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Same for me. I say thanks but no thanks. never speak to him again.
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
26 Mar 13
I completely agree with you, this is with friendship, relationship and so forth.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
Yeah having trust is a big deal!
1 person likes this
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
26 Mar 13
It is, we don't realize it until a situation arises.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Trust means everything in any relationship.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
27 Mar 13
that was terrible. he already knew that his gf is afraid to do it, how come he pushed her down to the cliff. what about if the girl has a heart failure during that time. what will happen to her or what will the boy do for this situation while they hang theirselves in the rope. sometimes, forcing one person is not good. we may call an abusive act. that was absolutely a deal - breaker and lapsing the right of her girlfriend. if i was in that situation, i do not know what will i do to my boyfriend. grrrrr
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
It was terrible! I don't know why he did it but it was wrong that is for sure. Forcing is never good in my opinion. If someone wants to do something they should not have to do it.
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
Very true, what if she had been hurt? Now... that would have been very sad.
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Sure was. Id be so afraid to have that done to me.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
26 Mar 13
What he did was totally out of order, unkind, and plain cruel, trust is a major issue with me, I have a terrible time trusting anyone, but that's due to the abuse as a child and the abusive relationships I have been in. There has to be trust in any relationship, it's trust that builds the relationship, if you can't trust your partner, then there's no basis of a relationship.
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Mar 13
I agree with you. Trust is SO important! If it is broken, especially like that there is no relationship. I would have done the same thing she did. Although, I might have punched him when I got to him too! He would have deserved it.
1 person likes this
@meumeu25 (917)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Mar 13
That's so true wolfy, if I am the girl I will scream the same words she did. It's a little funny but if that happens to me I will surely smack that BF on the head if I get back up alive and never trust him again.
• Mexico
27 Mar 13
Sure is, Id never talk to him again after that. No confidence in anyone who could do that.
• United States
28 Mar 13
I guess he would have broken up with me Way before . Why? When he mentioned bungee jumping I would have said Oh Hell No!I'm not going up there! I agree trust is the most important element in a relationship. When the trust is there, true friendship and then real love can grow.So answer your question it would be so over and worse I would see if I could get him arrested for pushing me off the cliff.
• United States
29 Mar 13
We all do!But many ignore the signs.
• Philippines
28 Mar 13
Hmm... yeah, trust is very important for any kind of relationship. However, you must also be an observant about things coming in your way. Remember, women have a powerful instincts...
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Mar 13
Deal breaker. The only possible excuse I can think of is if she told him before they got up there that if she chickened out he should push her.
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Mar 13
Yeah that would be the only excuse that would be acceptable...
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
Your right Dawn.. but OMG!!! Happy Easter....
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
28 Mar 13
I read the same story and also saw it on TV. He said she had told him to pusher, if that was what it would take. The couple did break up, but s supposedly, the push had nothing to do with the breakup.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
29 Mar 13
The way I understood it, what she hollered on the way down was not the break-up. It was just a spur of the moment exaggeration. Have you no said, "I'll kill you for that"? Of course, you had no intention of killing the person who made you so mad. The actual break-up came about later when they decided that they were really not compatible. In my opinion, the push was what triggered the break-up, but she told the reporter that it wasn't.
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Mar 13
Oh okay, it did not say that on the thing I read. The thing I read made it sound like the guy was a complete jerk! I feel better now knowing she told him to, if that is what really happened anyway...
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Mar 13
I'm curious though, if it had nothing to do with the break up then why did she break up with him on the way down? Why not wait until they were both done with this jump. Something is not making sense here...
@celticeagle (160489)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Mar 13
It's a definite deal breaker for me. Any man whose ego is so big that he cares more about his own objective of seeing her jump more than he does her feelings is not a man I would want anything to do with. If I don't trust him to respect my feelings in any given situation I don't want to be with this man. What a jerk!
@celticeagle (160489)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Mar 13
Ego is such a problem for some men. And some men shouldn't be married or involved because theirs is just too big.
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Mar 13
Yeah me too. I agree with you, it was more important for her to jump than for her safety or wants. That is terrible! He is a jerk, he should have been more respectful toward her feelings...
1 person likes this
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
Deal breaker?? I d hope Id never meet a guy like that... ever..
1 person likes this
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
27 Mar 13
I would say yes. On the other hand she could have told him later she was just scared and blurted that out. Don't worry, I didn't mean it, honest. Then do what ever was necessary like drop off his stuff or return the ring or whatever to end the relationship. ... or be better than that and be totally honest? There is a question of practical jokes. Some are just not funny are they?
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Mar 13
Yeah, this was so wrong. I cannot believe he pushed her! I would have knocked the guy out if it was me! Lol.
• Mexico
31 Mar 13
I would not have said a word to him. Id get down and walk off into the sunset.