Can't handle rejections well
By hora_fugit
@hora_fugit (5862)
India
September 19, 2015 8:59am CST
Sometimes you like a person a lot and they seem to be reciprocating... and all of a sudden you are blocked! It happened to me recently. 
And, in a rapid manner, all my interests towards that place waned away... I was shocked, then withdrawn - being furious would have helped, but I couldn't get myself to dislike that person. 
That was the reason I found out myLot's resurgence sooner than I would have in calmer times. Don't find myself ready to be chirping again yet... but that's another matter.
So like my other posts, I will deviate from my post caption now and tell you a story about older myLot times There was a lady here, from my country and quite elderly. I used to be friends with her.... she had quite a cool persona.
And then one day she lost her cool. There was some discussion about India (by a guy whom I followed) and she mistook it to be a mockery of our country. She was furious and blasted the OP. This OP, being famous for "oh that's how he is" replied in same manner, even more so.
Thing is, I had not been frequenting this place for some time and came to know long after. Else, would have tried to calm her down... because it indeed was her misunderstanding. As it happened, the fans of OP swarmed her and it was all a mess. There was an Indian boy there, who seemed to be in love with OP o.O and he was most uncharitable towards that lady. (Later on had my own interactions with him, and that was not all nice...)
All it needed was some patience and composure, surely you could entertain an elderly lady? In the end, she said she would not be to a place she was called a liar in and left promptly. That was the time when OP chose to write a new post making amendments but the recipient was gone already. As I said, I came to know later... and miss her since then.
So OP, you are a great person and blah and I love interacting with you, but I can never forget - or forgive - that incident. My brain works like that only. And you know, your fans are dangerous. Seriously. 
And, in a rapid manner, all my interests towards that place waned away... I was shocked, then withdrawn - being furious would have helped, but I couldn't get myself to dislike that person.
That was the reason I found out myLot's resurgence sooner than I would have in calmer times. Don't find myself ready to be chirping again yet... but that's another matter.
So like my other posts, I will deviate from my post caption now and tell you a story about older myLot times There was a lady here, from my country and quite elderly. I used to be friends with her.... she had quite a cool persona.
And then one day she lost her cool. There was some discussion about India (by a guy whom I followed) and she mistook it to be a mockery of our country. She was furious and blasted the OP. This OP, being famous for "oh that's how he is" replied in same manner, even more so.
Thing is, I had not been frequenting this place for some time and came to know long after. Else, would have tried to calm her down... because it indeed was her misunderstanding. As it happened, the fans of OP swarmed her and it was all a mess. There was an Indian boy there, who seemed to be in love with OP o.O and he was most uncharitable towards that lady. (Later on had my own interactions with him, and that was not all nice...)
All it needed was some patience and composure, surely you could entertain an elderly lady? In the end, she said she would not be to a place she was called a liar in and left promptly. That was the time when OP chose to write a new post making amendments but the recipient was gone already. As I said, I came to know later... and miss her since then.
So OP, you are a great person and blah and I love interacting with you, but I can never forget - or forgive - that incident. My brain works like that only. And you know, your fans are dangerous. Seriously. 8 people like this
7 responses
@gregario888 (1276)
• Aurangabad, India
19 Sep 15
Discussions should never get personal, and too much intimacy to a person, may, or may not be the most reassuring thing.
5 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
19 Sep 15
You are right. 
Just a "there, I said it" moment for me. In years. 
Just a "there, I said it" moment for me. In years. 4 people like this
@gregario888 (1276)
• Aurangabad, India
19 Sep 15
@hora_fugit When intimacies break-it is sometimes like a china vase being hit by an express train.
6 people like this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
27 Sep 15
always best to avoid and ignore anyone getting confrontational.
4 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
27 Sep 15
True. Unless the person is my old friend who I can lock horns with!
Like this OP. I hope.
Like this OP. I hope.3 people like this
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
24 Sep 15
We should not let our feelings get hurt, but should both sides be willing to discuss the situation. One of my friends here became offended on my behalf because a young man from India used to call me grandmother. He was only being respectful, and I knew that but she supposed he was making fun of me.
3 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
24 Sep 15
Being offended on someone's behalf is something I never understand! 
You see, I'll be pretty much outraged if anyone made fun of, or any way disrespected, my lovely trio here.... but that would be me taking offense for my own reasons. That I wouldn't like it.
Well, the Indian boy mentioned in my post later on tried to teach me about respecting elders - that I should say Mrs. Hatley instead of Ms. Hatley. I didn't say anything at that moment....
.... that's why this rant now. 
You see, I'll be pretty much outraged if anyone made fun of, or any way disrespected, my lovely trio here.... but that would be me taking offense for my own reasons. That I wouldn't like it.
Well, the Indian boy mentioned in my post later on tried to teach me about respecting elders - that I should say Mrs. Hatley instead of Ms. Hatley. I didn't say anything at that moment....
.... that's why this rant now. 2 people like this
@artemeis (4194)
• China
12 Nov 15
It is unfortunate that such incidents do happen every now and then. It not only happens online here but in real time as well. I don't know what actually happened but I feel that since you are late where the incident had already taken place after the fact then you should let OP thrash it out with whoever since she made her bed herself and as such sort out the mess herself.
Not telling you what to do here but this is my opinion because it will just escalate when she insists on her ways without realizing and exercise objectivity on her part.
2 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
12 Nov 15
Well... I would have loved that if they sorted it out. 
But the thing is, she became past for this site... no more using present tense.
She needed support because a lot of others had jumped in the favor of opposition... none of their business too!
Anyhow, my message reached to the OP via this post and I'm happy he at least took the cognizance.
But the thing is, she became past for this site... no more using present tense.
She needed support because a lot of others had jumped in the favor of opposition... none of their business too!
Anyhow, my message reached to the OP via this post and I'm happy he at least took the cognizance.2 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
26 Oct 15
@vandana7 OP feels gratitude...lol
[ No, that's not me :) ]
3 people like this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
26 Oct 15
It could be the another way round... 
Nah... we are fine so far, even though I sport two horns now
Sure you know the OP mentioned here?
Nah... we are fine so far, even though I sport two horns now
Sure you know the OP mentioned here?3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
19 Nov 15
@hora_fugit I understand I am stepping into a thread that is several months old, so I do hope you do not mind, sir.
I would first like to tell you that I am sorry you didn't find out there was a problem until after it was too late for you to be able to help your friend. (I have had similar things happen, so I know your pain.
)
Second, I would like to ask a question. I hope you do not/will not take offense for me asking you this... Have you tried to contact your older friend to explain that she had misunderstood the situation?
Yes, I do understand that you may not have her email address, so cannot contact her directly, but there are at least three other resources at your disposal that could lead to you contacting your friend, even several months after your friend has gone from this site.
I do not feel it is my place to suggest things for you to do, sir. I would be happy to assist you, should you want my help. Or I will not mention this again, if I have caused more pain, sir.
Thank you.
)
Second, I would like to ask a question. I hope you do not/will not take offense for me asking you this... Have you tried to contact your older friend to explain that she had misunderstood the situation?
Yes, I do understand that you may not have her email address, so cannot contact her directly, but there are at least three other resources at your disposal that could lead to you contacting your friend, even several months after your friend has gone from this site.
I do not feel it is my place to suggest things for you to do, sir. I would be happy to assist you, should you want my help. Or I will not mention this again, if I have caused more pain, sir.
Thank you.1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
19 Nov 15
Well, even I am not several months old in this new 'Lot, so how this discussion could be? 
Thanks for the hugs :) Answering your question will make me reveal something about my take on friendship in general and online association in particular...
She was a dear friend in the sense I admired her writings and thoughts... but I knew nothing about her contact details, not even her actual name.
Even @vandana7 would be lost for me if she doesn't come here 
She did ask me once my details but I declined...
Thanks for the hugs :) Answering your question will make me reveal something about my take on friendship in general and online association in particular...
She was a dear friend in the sense I admired her writings and thoughts... but I knew nothing about her contact details, not even her actual name.
Even @vandana7 would be lost for me if she doesn't come here She did ask me once my details but I declined...1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
19 Nov 15
@vandana7 All your bro's are resisting your attempts to dress them in Cinderella costumes!
And then the makeup kits... whew!
In fact, a march will be organised tomorrow morning.... where all of us will return our Prince Charming awards in protest. Be ready.
And then the makeup kits... whew!
In fact, a march will be organised tomorrow morning.... where all of us will return our Prince Charming awards in protest. Be ready.2 people like this
@vandana7 (98834)
• India
19 Nov 15
@hora_fugit ...yeah...I know how much you guard yourself..from me. But that you think I am worth keeping in touch makes me bloat like a sumo fighter. Let me go and check what my bro is doing at other end.
But that you think I am worth keeping in touch makes me bloat like a sumo fighter. Let me go and check what my bro is doing at other end.1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5862)
• India
7 Jun 16
Oh yes, that OP has changed the clothes several times since.... at least once. The lady in question never returned and the gentleman I didn't properly introduce above is still keeping me in his block list!
As for 'chirping' still long way to go...
As for 'chirping' still long way to go...1 person likes this
