Out to lunch?
By bonnie
@bunnybon7 (50970)
Holiday, Florida
October 6, 2015 1:20am CST
spoke to an old friend coming back to town soon yesterday. She said, when she comes back we should go out to lunch. I know what that means. She is one of those that sounds like she is inviting you when she is actually planning on you paying 
I have so many friends like that and seem to always have. not sure why. maybe I am just to generous? Do you have those kind of friends? many years ago, I had another like that.when hubby was alive. First time , she forgot her check book and or money. She said next time she would pay. But, alas, she only had enough second time for half of her large lunch!! I learned my lesson. hubby used to tease me about when was I going to take my friend out to lunch again. 
never happened again as much as she asked me.
original post by bunnybon7
I have so many friends like that and seem to always have. not sure why. maybe I am just to generous? Do you have those kind of friends? many years ago, I had another like that.when hubby was alive. First time , she forgot her check book and or money. She said next time she would pay. But, alas, she only had enough second time for half of her large lunch!! I learned my lesson. hubby used to tease me about when was I going to take my friend out to lunch again.
never happened again as much as she asked me.
original post by bunnybon719 people like this
18 responses
@much2say (57376)
• Los Angeles, California
6 Oct 15
Oh, I hate that!! We had a friend who always had the same sob stories - that he only had X amount for the rest of the week, had to pay for this or that bill, and blah blah blah - and he knew darn well we would never let him go unfed - so we treated him - a lot. Hubby got smart to that and started telling the waiters this would all go under separate bills - ha ha!
4 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
that would be best. why do i feel embarrassed to do that? i am so silly i guess.
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Nov 15
I have a few like that myself. mostly my kids. they expect it. grown kids
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
6 Oct 15
I can't stand people that are like that! I can see if they didn't have much money that day, but the next time picked up the bill. I know a few people who would assume because I didn't spend my money recklessly like them that I should pay the bill when we went out.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Nov 15
yes as my hubby used to say it is all about priorities and diplomacy.
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 15
Hmm I don't think I have friends like that. But my common understanding is whoever invites, pays. 
3 people like this
@indexer (4852)
• Leicester, England
6 Oct 15
I suppose the fair thing is to agree at the outset that you will each pay for what you have eaten. That is what my wife and her two friends do when we go for a regular fortnightly outing to Pizza Hut - it's great fun watching them working out the bill and the cash, especially as they are all maths teachers!
5 people like this
@cahaya1983 (11116)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 15
@indexer Hehe yeah actually when I was a student that's what I used to do with friends whenever we eat outside. But now if I invite them for a meal outside it's usually on me.
2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
6 Oct 15
some folks seem to thrive'n takin' advantage 'f others generosity. i'd make fer certain if'n that gal called in regards to lunch that she knew upfront it'd be separate checks. to me, those kinda folks aint friends, jest acquaintances that ought to be avoided.
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
i often do avoid them but get out so little i guess these days i don't mind as much as i used to.
@Shellyann36 (11383)
• United States
7 Oct 15
Good grief! So much for friends. I am glad you had the cash to pay for the lunch. Someone might have had to wash dishes to cover the price!
It is understood with my friends that when we say "lets go get something to eat" or we make plans to go out that we are each paying for our own meals, etc.
It is understood with my friends that when we say "lets go get something to eat" or we make plans to go out that we are each paying for our own meals, etc.1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Nov 15
that is how it was when hubby went with us. that's the right way shelleyanne
@marguicha (228944)
• Chile
6 Oct 15
Those friends need a lesson. Fortunatly I don´t have them anymore as they left when they discovered I would not pay for their luxuries. But I told each and everyone of them that I hardly had money to go around. Could they pay?
2 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Nov 15
I tried that but you know the saying "blood from a turnip?"
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Nov 15
cute bluedoll. I agree that's best
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
well i did but once we ate they usually come up with they haven't got it. the reason why i don't go to lunch with some any more unless i am prepared to pay. lol
2 people like this
@MoonHowler17 (101)
• Ballina, Australia
8 Oct 15
Awful that this 'friend' expects you to pay, @bunnybon7 and goes out with you knowing that you will pay for her. While I am sure you are too nice to do it, it would be great if you could tell her that you really can't afford lunch at the moment unless it is HER shout.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Nov 15
hi moon so glad to see you back. I have just not been writing much any where these days. yes I have tried that and just don't go eat with anyone that either don't pay their part unless I owe them one
1 person likes this
@MoonHowler17 (101)
• Ballina, Australia
4 Nov 15
@bunnybon7 I'm not exactly back - limited internet - but I'm trying 
I so agree. I will offer to shout when I know the person will happily pay for me next time and I do "owe" a friend a coffee - but you know who "friends" are and those who are just spongers
I so agree. I will offer to shout when I know the person will happily pay for me next time and I do "owe" a friend a coffee - but you know who "friends" are and those who are just spongers 
@softbabe44 (5816)
• Vancouver, Washington
6 Oct 15
i don't blame you if you don't go cause thats just decietful to wanna go to lunch and not really share the facts that she forgot her wallet or check book thats not cool if you do go though act like you only have enough money for your self
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Nov 15
yes I should if there is a next time
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (86739)
• United States
6 Oct 15
When I go out with my friends we split the bill
3 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
most reasonable people do. good for you
2 people like this
@albto_568 (1268)
• Costa Rica
7 Oct 15
I always cut, with abusive friends like that. I am not a cheapskate, but I hate being forced to be generous. In your place, I wouldn't allow her to finish first, as soon as you see she is going to finish her meal, tell her you gotta leave and ask for separate checks.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
that would likely work. usually you have to ask for seperate checks right off. and i forget but yes i just quit going if i can't trust them. lol
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
6 Oct 15
I had one friend in my college days who used to do like that. So I stopped going out with her because I dint want to lose my pocket money which was given by my parents. I knew how hard my parents worked to earn the money for our family needs and comforts. But now since I am earning I would not mind to pay for my friends food once in a while but not regularly. usually all my friends will share the bills.
1 person likes this
@sherryeb (580)
• Duncan, Arizona
7 Oct 15
It has happened to me many times also, freeloading friends...ha...ha...After awhile I catch on on say...NOT...Once they figure out I have no intentions of always paying...they sort of drift off to mooch off of someone else...I am sorry to say. Real friends offer to pay or we go dutch.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
7 Oct 15
yes they usually go on to greener pastures for a while. some check back now and then just to see but i get the message after 2 times. thats it
@Rinderella (51)
• United States
9 Oct 15
I agree with everyone who says make it clear you are going dutch and ask for separate bills. I have never had this problem, all of my friends pay their own way. Good luck.
