If you could start your life over, what would you change about it?
@rosekiss (30380)
Eugene, Oregon
October 27, 2015 2:53pm CST
To start off with, I wish I had my mother for a lot longer than just three years. I didn't know her that much, as i remember very little, and my brother at that time was just a baby. My dad couldn't raise us, so he sent us to live with his sister. She was a great aunt, and I considered her my mon, as she was always there for me and my brother. After graduation from high school, I went to live with my dad, and for the most part my life was okay then. At the age of 22, I got married. The thing of it is, we only dated for a short time, then I got engaged, and by the time we got married, we had only known each other for just a few months. It is ironci though, that our marriage lasted 35 years in spite of only knowing each other a few months. If Ihad to do it over again, I wouldn't have married someone I only knew for a few months. I would want to date for a long while, and then decide if we are compatible enough to get married. Don't get me wrong, I love my kds, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I just wish I had waited longer before getting married, as maybe we might still be married today. In a way, when he wanted to take me back, if I had to do it over again, I would have. I was just hurt and I wanted to be alone. I have been alone for eight years now, and my life hasn't been the best, but I can wake up and say I am alive in spite of everything I have gone through. You might say, my life could have been better and I wish that everyday, but at least I have my kids,and my ex and I are still friends. Unfortunately, I can't go back and do my life over, so I will havve to accept things the way they are.
32 people like this
37 responses
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Oct 15
I am glad tht you have a good enough life not to change it. i just wasn't afforded as good a one as i would like to have. Right now, it is a mess as I am struggling, and I wish I weren't but wth the economy being what it is, lots are struggling.
2 people like this
@TexanTornado (5573)
• United States
27 Oct 15
I personally don't think I would change anything. I might not like everything that has taken place in my life (and there is a lot of not so good stuff), but it is what made me what and who I am. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I wish not to change the dynamics effects of the present.
4 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Oct 15
@TexanTornado That is really great. It seems like you took the adversity you were in, and made something good out of it. I will have to think aboutthat with my problems too, that something good always comes from bad, but we might not see it at first,
2 people like this
@TexanTornado (5573)
• United States
27 Oct 15
@rosekiss My life wasn't dynamic at all. Depends how one wishes to view it, it down right stunk ( I lived a real sob story). But I made the most of it, and it made me a stronger person and what I am now.
1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (80185)
• United States
27 Oct 15
Sometimes I look back and think about how I'd change things but then realize that if I had taken different roads I wouldn't be where I am today. So, I probably wouldn't change anything
3 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Oct 15
@Marilynda1225 I agree with you, that I wouldn't have my 2 kids if Ihad married someone else. It sure would have been nice to marry a rich man though.
Oh, well, I will just dream about that for awhile.
Oh, well, I will just dream about that for awhile.1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (80185)
• United States
27 Oct 15
@rosekiss I wonder the same thing at times and often speculate where my life would be if I had married someone else too and not gone through a divorce and raised 4 children by myself. But, I have wonderful children and they wouldn't be here if I had married someone else. Mostly my dream husband would be rich!!! LOL
2 people like this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Oct 15
Surprisingly for me i would would increase my primary school time. It was the best. I really enjoy my time. Never used to read much but still passed lol
3 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
@Missmwngi My daughter has 4 boys but she only has the two youngest ones with her, as the older two are out on their own. Anyway, she will be glad when she has the two youngest boys done from school. One is 4 and the other is 9, and they have awhile yet. The sad thing of it is, the nine year old has autism, so it takes him longer, as he just doesn't understand everything.
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
27 Oct 15
@rosekiss Ha haa i hope my son will like school too. School time is kind of good. You never have to worry about this and that. Everything is provided
2 people like this
@rahulvsmokiee (3110)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
27 Oct 15
I am not worried about past. So i dont wanted to be back to childhood. for me 19 is my perfect time and i will saty on that .
3 people like this
@rahulvsmokiee (3110)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
27 Oct 15
@rosekiss Oh. So did i remembered her to you? Just cherish your old memories..those wonderful days with her.. You are going to be super excited by remembering things you have done with her... Dont you?
3 people like this
@rahulvsmokiee (3110)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
27 Oct 15
@rosekiss You just made tears in my eyes. now i remember how important is a mom for someone who dont have now. I always gets fight with her. Now i will not do for sure.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53941)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Oct 15
Of all the things I would want to change, I think I would have tried a wee bit harder in school. Not that I was a bad student - I was actually an honor student, but probably at the lowest end. I was always lazy and did things with the shortest route possible instead of putting my all into studies. I should have done my absolute best instead of just doing the passing minimal. I guess I'm saying I wish I pushed myself harder at things - I know I could've have done much more for myself.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
You turned out okay though, and that is the main thing. I wasn't a very good student either, as I was a very slow learner, and it would take me hours to do homeowrk, where others would get theirs done in a short period of time. I did pass though, but not by much, so i really should have pushed myself to do a litle bit better too.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
@much2say I am kind of that way now, as i am on the lazy side, and I have to tell myself that i need to do what needs to get done. I didn['t want to wash out my bottome cupboards, but had to, and I won't go into detail as to why, but I am glad I did, as they are so much nice now, and cleaner and smell much better too. I need to mop the kitchn floor and keep putting it off, but it will have to be done sometime, that is for sure. I just can't seem to pull myself away from here.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
That is great that you have takein adversity and changed it for the good, and that you became stronger becasue of it. I am trying right now to do that myself, but it sure isn't easy. I do know though, that good always comes out of bad, and I think about that all the time, and hope that I do have good come my way, and if I beleive long enough, it will.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
28 Oct 15
I wish I get that opportunity.I would have changed the way I did things.I do not want anything to be different.Only the way I would have dealt with persons and events.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Oct 15
I am so sorry you were treated as an outcast. That really had to be tough. To be told more or less you don't belong would be so devastating that is for sure. Hopefully, you will find someone that can love you the way you deserve to be loved.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
@skysnap I hope for your sake it doesn't happen either. I really thought that my ex loved me, and maybe he did for awhile, but then something happened where he just fell out of love with me, and just didn't want to be with me anymore. It has hurt, but I realize now, that being married to him just wasn't meant to be, after 35 years. i can't change that either, so I have accepted it and moved on.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
I am happy for you that your life is so great. I am sorry though that your dad passed when you were young. At least you had him for awhile. I only had my mom for 3 years, and that wasn't long enough at all. I often wonder what might have been if she had lived a lot longer.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
@Marcyaz That is so true, and I thought back then, we were compatible, but as it turned out after 35 years, he decided we were no longer compatible. I couldn't figure that one out, and I still can't. I will have to ask him why, as we do talk as we are very good friends, even more so now that we are divorced. Bizarre isn't it? I guess it does happen that way sometimes though.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
That is really great that your marriage is going strong in spite of only going together for a few months. It is just that in my cast, we didn't know each other as well as we should have after only 3 months. I loved him and he loved me, so we decided to get married, but now I realize that isn't enough to get married.I do miss being married for sure, but since I have been single for eight years, I am adjusting to that, which hasn't always been easy.
2 people like this
@Rationalwriter (1813)
• Lucknow, India
28 Oct 15
Great topic I will say!! Something that most people think about a lot and I am one of them,
One thing that I would like to change about me is this lack of anger inside me. I mean people have done wrong to me to a great extent and I don't get angry at them or even if I do I cool off in a few minutes !! So what I will like to change about me is to have a little bit more anger in me. So that atleast I can respond
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
I would say that for me, I have to much anger, and keeping it bottled up hasn't been good. Well, Ifinally let it out the other day on a company that is taking advantage of me, and you know, I did feel better afterwares. I am not sure how the girl felt on the other end of the phone, though, as she really had nothing to say. i guess I surprised her, and I really surprised myself, as I have not been able to let it out, and when I finally did, it was a hurge relief.
1 person likes this
@japneet20 (249)
• New Delhi, India
28 Oct 15
I wouldn't want to change anything. I like the way my life has been uptill now i have had my equal share of ups and downs but I have no regrets.
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
I have had ups and downs too, and it seems more downs than ups, but I am still here, and i am able to go through my downs only with the Lord's help. I hate it when things go topsy turvy, as it puts a monkey wrench in everything. My downs don't seem so bad though, when I see others worse off than me.
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
@japneet20 I know it will get better in time, and that is the hope that ihave.
@japneet20 (249)
• New Delhi, India
28 Oct 15
@rosekiss all the best. It does get better. :)
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
28 Oct 15
A word about expecting to have a better marriage if you had time to date each other. Building up relationships in a marriage starts from day one and not before as the scenario changes overnight.
As for me I wish I was not so sensitive about my relationship with those around me.
2 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
30 Oct 15
There is much I would change if only I could have my life over again knowing what I know now.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
30 Oct 15
I do agree with you on that one. If I knew then that I would be divorced now, I wouldn't have married who I did. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I just wish I had waited longer before I got married is all.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
1 Nov 15
@kevin1877uk I love my kids too, and I wouldn't change them in any way. I would have liked to stay married, but it wasn't meant to be. I have to accept that, but as long as we can remain friends, I am okay with that too.
1 person likes this
@kevin1877uk (36988)
•
30 Oct 15
@rosekiss Same here, my life went down hill in a way getting married, i would change that one, I love my kids, just my ex-wife, she ok at times but others.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (111434)
• El Paso, Texas
31 Oct 15
Since there is no way to get do overs I'll simply say that in order to change me I'd have to change my parents and then theirs etc, etc. Suffice it to say I'm happy enough with the way things have turned out in my life, I am retired and have my furmily to keep me company, they never argue with me or try to persuade me to do things differently from the way I like. I am a happy camper.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
1 Nov 15
That is really great to here. I have a small family, so mine are here for me when I need them as well. I have my son here, but my daughter lives in another state, so I don't see her, and it is hard, but I do talk to her about everyday. I am divorced, but am still friends with my ex, in fact better friends now, than when we were married. We spend the holidays together, and other times as well.
1 person likes this
@fufurinha (11930)
• Portugal
29 Oct 15
I don't know if I would change anything in my life. I like it the way it is.
1 person likes this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
29 Oct 15
@fufurinha Yes, I do try to do that. I don't go away much to buy anything as i can't afford to, and I have all I need right now anyway, so I won't be spending my money, on things that I don't need.
1 person likes this
@fufurinha (11930)
• Portugal
29 Oct 15
@rosekiss We have to be glad with what we have now.
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@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Oct 15
I loved him a lot, but i guess he just didn't live me like I loved him. I care for him still, but I don't think I love him like I did since he hurt me. I just wish we would have waited and got married after we dated more, as we just didn't know each other enough to get married then.
1 person likes this
@PaulaKent (91)
• Nairobi, Kenya
28 Oct 15
I'd love to get married a bit earlier...
2 people like this
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Oct 15
i hope you wouldn't want to get married to young though. i thought I was in love at 22, and I probably was, but when I look back on it now, I realized my dad was right when he said I shouild have waited. Parnets seem to know more than we do, but we don't always listen to them. If Ihad, things might be different today.
