Do's and Don’t's when Communicating with People with Alzheimer's Disease
By Judy Evans
@JudyEv (382542)
Rockingham, Australia
April 8, 2016 8:05am CST
With many of us having aged parents in our midst, communication can become increasingly difficult. This is especially true if an elderly person has Alzheimers. However there are some strategies which help.
Be sure you have the person's attention. Make eye contact and speak clearly. Remain calm and still as agitated movements will upset the listener. Give them time to process what you are saying and keep to one topic. Dementia sufferers cannot cope with complex sentences or ideas.
Don't stand over the person or invade their personal space. Get down to their level if they are sitting; below their eye level if possible so they feel they have some control. Supplement words with non-verbal clues. Use gestures and facial expressions. Don't let frustration or impatience show in your tone of voice.
Nod and smile if appropriate when listening to them. Don't finish their sentences. If you're having trouble understanding, ask them to explain in a different way.
Avoid arguing. Don't give orders or commands. Don't raise your voice or speak sharply. Don't talk about them as if they're not there but try to allow them to maintain their self-esteem. Never make them feel foolish in front of others.
Actually, much of this advice is helpful in any interactions with others, don't you think?
20 people like this
19 responses
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
8 Apr 16
indeed they're 'n apply well when speakin' with young'uns also. shame that the nursin' facilities don't follow some'f these 'rules'.
2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
9 Apr 16
@JudyEv indeed 'n sadly somethin' that seems to be lackin' so much these days :(
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
@sueznewz2 @crazyhorseladycx It's actually mostly commonsense and courtesy, isn't it? Not really rocket science.
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@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
8 Apr 16
This is really good advice for communicating with anyone. My father in law had Alzheimer's and it was so sad. But we were able to communicate with him pretty well. The problem came in when he continually asked us the same things over and over again. And while it frustrated some, we did understand that he genuinely didn't know he'd asked before. It made me love him even more.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14556)
• United States
9 Apr 16
@JudyEv It is so sad and while I know that care givers get worn out pretty quickly, the trick really is to imagine if you were the person afflicted. For those people who are at the beginning of the disease and know what's coming for them, it has to be just terrifying. I wish a cure would be found, or at least something to make things easier for people to deal with the losses it brings.
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
8 Apr 16
I hope that I never have to cope with this condition.
So far, none of the aged ones in my family have this problem.
Even my distant relatives who are in their 80s or 90s are still sharp.
The problem is that they do not forget.
They keep on repeating the same thing, and though it is not the fault of anyone, they are so good at pointing finger.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (117272)
• El Paso, Texas
9 Apr 16
I wish I had known better back then but I tried the best I could to communicate the same way I was taught. Mom made every one of those mistakes when raising me so I had no clue not to do the same.
Lucky for me I eventually learned but I'm sure it was hard on mom.
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@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
Everyone is different. I would find it impossible to cope too but for some people/carers it seems to be almost a calling.
@BelleStarr (61463)
• United States
9 Apr 16
I have to agree, it is the way we should interact with everyone.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
9 Apr 16
Very interesting advice Judy. Fortunately I've not had to deal with anyone with dementia, but I do remember reading that you mustn't be confrontational. If they insist on something, just go with the flow - chances are they will forget all about it anyway.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
9 Apr 16
actually yeah, these things would be well to be used in all kinds of interaction, not to mention with some disabilities!
1 person likes this
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
9 Apr 16
Yes .... it's very difficult communicating with people who have these and other problems of the mind, but these are very good / helpful suggestions.... to make it a bit easier for both parties...
I think many people would benefit from some training in this area...to help them and their loved ones...
I think many people would benefit from some training in this area...to help them and their loved ones...1 person likes this
@Marilynda1225 (91169)
• United States
8 Apr 16
My mom has dementia and I have had to adapt to many of the suggestions you mention. There are time when it's difficult not to lose patience but I try my best
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
It is very, very difficult for carers. You are to be commended simply for continuing to try to care for her. Don't forget that if it starts to impact on your own health, you have done all you can and it might be time to pass the burden on to others. I wish you, and your mother, all the best.
@teamfreak16 (43663)
• Denver, Colorado
8 Apr 16
Yeah, that is how I try to talk to little kids if I have to talk to them at all.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Apr 16
yes when I finished reading this I thught we should use this wkth almost anyone.I could have used this with my ex roomate really as she went through the stages. It broke myh heart to see a once vital vibrant wman change so c o mpletely and she was several years my junior. I learned a lot of what o have written the hard way
trying to get t hrough to her. great post.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
Thank you Patsie. Most of it is just commonsense and common courtesy when communicating with anyone.
@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
Most of the points help when communicating with the elderly in general. Some are trying to cope with hearing loss or impaired vision so they have a lot to contend with.
@JudyEv (382542)
• Rockingham, Australia
9 Apr 16
Apart from a few points, it's just commonsense and courtesy.
@Scindhia (1906)
• India
8 Apr 16
My mother's aunt had this and I wish I knew how to talk to her back then. Everyone just kept ignoring her most of the time. She was sitting simply without speaking anything and just staring fixedly at something. She is no more, but I wish atleast I could have made some effort had I known this earlier.
1 person likes this
