Yesterday Was a Crazy Day
@DeborahDiane (40850)
Laguna Woods, California
April 13, 2016 10:52pm CST
You may have noticed (or not) that I was not on MyLot yesterday. It was a crazy day.
In the morning, my 13 year old grandson was hit by a car on his way to school. He is OK ... although he is still bruised and in a little pain. He was crossing the street on his bicycle, near his old elementary school, and a teacher was making a left turn. She didn't notice him, and knocked him off his bicycle. She did not leave the scene of the accident and no charges were filed. My daughter (his mother) took him to urgent care to have him checked out. Nothing appears to be broken. We're all just relieved that he is OK. (That's my grandson in the picture above)
After that incident, I went to the dentist, then met @ElizabethWallace and another friend for a nice, relaxed lunch. I thought the drama was over for the day.
I returned home, and learned a few minutes later that my 49 year old step-daughter, who has been through a lot the past few years, was in Hawaii and got married! She is the daughter who had the brain aneurysm two years ago and has had two brain surgeries in the past two years.
She just married the retired paramedic who saved her life.
That might have been a good story, except he is also a very heavy drinker and several members of our family are uncomfortable about the marriage, especially her two daughters (our oldest two granddaughters). We are all invited to their wedding in a couple of months. Instead, they are just going to have a big reception. I suspect there is some family drama going on that I don't know about, so she wanted to get married before the reception.
You can imagine how surprised we were when she called yesterday afternoon to say "Guess what! We're in Hawaii and we just got married."
My husband and I are very supportive of our daughters, no matter what, which is why I think she called us first. We congratulated her and her new husband.
Here's what bothers us:
She still has not told her daughters, sisters or any other members of the family, and she has asked us not to tell anyone until she does. That was a day and a half ago ... and she still hasn't told anyone. I know she will, but somehow this whole thing just seems wrong. 
Anyway, it was a very crazy day, and I just couldn't get on MyLot last night. I just wasn't thinking clearly enough.
Anyway, it was a very crazy day, and I just couldn't get on MyLot last night. I just wasn't thinking clearly enough.17 people like this
18 responses
@MGjhaud (23228)
• Philippines
14 Apr 16
im sorry about your grandson. im glad he's ok. i cant understand these drivers who wont utilize the brakes, i dont get them when they say they did not see the person that's big enough for them to stop their vehicle.
regarding your daughter, i hope shes making the right decision in spite of the objections. probably shes got reasons why she married the guy too soon.
regarding your daughter, i hope shes making the right decision in spite of the objections. probably shes got reasons why she married the guy too soon.3 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
I just take the attitude that she is old enough to make these decisions for herself. However, some members of the family are very upset, now that they have been told.
2 people like this
@MGjhaud (23228)
• Philippines
16 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane im sorry to hear that. i hope she'll clarify things with you soon as to why she did it so everybody will somehow understand.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
17 Apr 16
@MGjhaud - I hope she clarifies things, too. I think everyone was a little shocked by her decision ... especially since you already had a wedding planned for June. Now, it will just be a reception.
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12069)
• United States
14 Apr 16
I am so sorry about the drama going on for you right now. I know that feeling in the gut when you are certain something is just off. I hope it is a minor glitch and everything turns out wonderfully for them all.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
I hope her marriage turns out well, too. I only wish the best for our daughters, although there have been times when I have wondered about all of their decisions.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
@ElizabethWallace - You are sooo right! Their crazy choices make us crazy. I used to love the saying, "Insanity is inherited ... you get it from your children." LOL
1 person likes this
@ElizabethWallace (12069)
• United States
15 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane It's their crazy choices that make parents crazy.
2 people like this
@LdeL0318 (6400)
• Philippines
15 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane But it's okay now. Remind him to become extra careful.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
@LdeL0318 - Yes, I have already "nagged" my grandson that he needs to be extra careful when he crosses the street! I'm sure I will not have to remind him again.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Oh, yes. I was terrified that something serious could happen because of the accident.
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Our daughter finally told her daughters and sisters this afternoon. None of them were pleased about the wedding, but it's already done, now. I'm just going to accept it.
2 people like this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
17 Apr 16
@DianneN - No, this is not her first marriage. She was married for 24 years to another man. He had his problems, but I thought they got along pretty well. I guess it shows that you don't always know what is going on in someone else's marriage. She left her husband two years ago, had her brain aneurysm, filed for divorce once she was out of the hospital, and that divorce was final about a year ago. The last two years have been rather stressful for her, so I suspect she is just looking to "settle down" and find some peace in her life. I just hope this new husband can give it to her. I have to say, her personality has changed a little since the brain aneurysm, so I hate to be too hard on her about this wedding. She seems more dependent than she used to, so maybe she just wants someone to take care of her. That sounds sad, but I suspect it may be at least partially true.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254926)
• United States
18 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane Thanks for the history. We always worry about our children, and we always want what's best for them. I hope she is happy and everything works out well. There is just so much a parent can do.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254926)
• United States
16 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane Is this her first marriage?
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Yes, the good news is that our grandson is OK. I'm just hoping for the best for the marriage. Our granddaughters were not very happy about it, but hopefully things will settle down.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
@just4him - Thanks! All we can do is wish the best for our children!
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane I hope so too.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
14 Apr 16
I am glad to hear that your grandson is alright. What a scary thing to happen! I bet that the teacher felt awful about it, too.
I can understand your step-daughter wanting to tell you knowing that you will be supportive of it. I can also understand her being hesitant to tell the others if she is afraid of backlash. However, I think that the longer she waits to tell them, the worse it will be for the entire situation.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
You are absolutely right about the backlash. She finally told the rest of the family today, and several of them were very unhappy.
1 person likes this
@purplealabaster (22085)
• United States
15 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane It is a sad situation. It sounds like she has been through hell the last couple of years, and this should be a happy time for her rather than a source of stress and tension. It sounds like she just wants to enjoy life after everything she has been through, and she does have a right to do that without judgment.
On the other hand, I do understand the concern that some members of your family have. I know a lot of heavy drinkers. I would not recommend it as a good life-style choice, but it is not always a major cause for concern, either. I know quite a few heavy drinkers that do just fine financially, socially and emotionally. They are not violent nor are they abusive. They have a house and hold down a good job or are retired from their job. They are active in the lives of their children and grandchildren. Of course, not all heavy drinkers are that responsible and controlled, but some are.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
@purplealabaster - You offered good advise. We are just planning to love our daughter and hope that marriage works out well. I believe it is always best to be positive about these things.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61463)
• United States
16 Apr 16
Wow that is a crazy day. I am glad your grandson is just slightly hurt and I can only say I will be praying that the marriage turns out to be a good thing and everyone isn't too upset by not being told. Family, you have to love them !!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
That is so true! We just have to love our families and hope for the best! I'm sure we will all get through it. We have always had a close family.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
18 Apr 16
Oh my goodness Deborah, what a day for you. You must be so relieved that your grandson is ok.
I wish we got notifications of our friends' postings as I missed this before. So I'm late to hear your news, and I see from the comments that your daughter has told everybody now. I hope that they will be supportive of her, just as you are.
Your daughter deserves her chance at happiness, and no-one should blame her for grabbing it with both hands while she can. Her husband being a heavy drinker is not necessarily a recipe for disaster.
Will they be living in the same house as the daughters? If so, I suppose that could be awkward if they are hostile. I hope that they will accept things now the deed is done.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (64346)
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane Oh dear - what a mess. Those poor girls, it must be horrible not having a proper home.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Apr 16
No, the daughters will not be living with them. That has been one of the sources of resentment. Our daughter's new husband owns a small house and they have not carved out a space where the daughters can stay when they visit. Neither has their father, our daughter's ex-husband. The girls are both in college, but things have changed very dramatically for them. They went from having a beautiful home with their own rooms in the Napa Valley to now staying with friends whenever they are home for college holidays. I'm disappointed that neither our daughter nor her ex-husband see that as a problem. One of our granddaughters attends a college near us, and she has come to visit and told me how frustrated she has been about things since her mom's divorce. I hope things improve, but I just see the wedge between our daughter and her daughters getting bigger, not smaller. ((sigh)) I think the general hostility is the reason our daughter eloped to Hawaii to get married and did not include her daughters ... or any other family members.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
20 Apr 16
@jaboUK - Yes, I feel really bad about what has happened in our granddaughter's lives. They both know they are always welcome to come spend a weekend with us, but we don't live where they grew up, so it isn't the same. Over the next couple of years, they will both be out of college and on their own. However, I'm sure they will carry their resentments about all this for a long time.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
14 Apr 16
bless yer heart, ms. d-d! thank goodness that sweet lil grandson'f yers wasn't seriously injured. such could'a ended quite tragically...hopefully he'll be back to his ol' self by the end'f the week :D sendin' healin' hugs his way.
she did what??? mercy, i dunno what gets into folks sometimes? i hope that she does divulge this info to all'n quickly. no doubt there's lots goin' that'cha aint privy to :( i wish 'em the best, though such sure sounds like trouble.
'n here i thought'cha were out scopin' that bird/whale thingy out fer me to gimme a better look't from all sides. 't least ya'd a nice lunch with the ladies.
keepin' all'n my thoughts 'n close to my heart ~ big hugs!!
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
15 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane yer welcome, hon. i imagine all're quite concerned with yer daughters decision, particularly since all already know his history. my heart goes out to y'all coz i know there's not a thingy any'f ya can do 'xcept be there fer her. 't least she did finally tell 'em so ya aint gotta carry that yerself. sendin' more hugs, hon, sounds like yer gonna need 'em!
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
@crazyhorseladycx - Thanks for the hugs. I agree there is nothing we can do, except love her and hope everything turns out OK.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Thanks so much for your good thoughts and big hugs. It was a crazy day. Our daughter has finally told her daughters about the wedding. They were not happy. The drama continues.
1 person likes this
@jrlcentral (2605)
• Roxas, Philippines
18 Apr 16
Glad your grandson didnot sustain a more seriuos injury.
With your step daughter though, it seems the drama have just started... I hope everything will be fine soon
1 person likes this
@jrlcentral (2605)
• Roxas, Philippines
18 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane ... Some are more intense than the others. Hehe
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
18 Apr 16
With four grown daughters and seven grandchildren, I have learned to just hope for the best! There is always some drama somewhere.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238356)
• Walnut Creek, California
17 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane Let us know how the movie is! I enjoy good kid movies.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
17 Apr 16
I am VERY relieved that my grandson is OK. Tomorrow we are taking him and his sister to go see the new "Jungle Book" movie. I'm looking forward to spending some extra time with them.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
15 Apr 16
We can only lend our support, but your daughter does need to inform her children ASAP that she has married. The longer she puts it off, the more hurt they will be.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
She did finally tell her daughters that she got married and, you are right, they were hurt. We'll all just have to move on, however.
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
16 Apr 16
@DeborahDiane I'm glad they didn't wait too long to let their family know.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Thank you! I'm glad he wasn't seriously hurt.
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
My grandson actually felt sorry for the teacher who hit him. He said she was shaking more than he was! I'm just glad that everything turned out OK.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
14 Apr 16
Oh boy! That spells drama with a capital D for the members that do no know. I hope that they take it well and give the marriage a chance. Maybe he can or will not drink so much now that he is married.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
15 Apr 16
Now that they are married, I am just hoping for the best for both of them. Our granddaughters were not happy that their mom did not tell them she was getting married in Hawaii. Hopefully, things will settle down. You are right that it spells drama with a capital D.
1 person likes this
@DeborahDiane (40850)
• Laguna Woods, California
16 Apr 16
My days since then have been much better. Our daughter finally told her daughters and our family is just planning to get together at the reception. The whole incident was strange, but we'll put it behind us.
1 person likes this
