Bathroom Break

@Rollo1 (16679)
Boston, Massachusetts
May 13, 2016 6:18am CST
I was discussing bathroom issues with my son last night. Not his personal issues, just the state-wide, school-type, legal issues of who is allowed in which bathroom. Our State Senate has just passed a bathroom bill that makes it legal to use the bathroom of choice according to how one identifies. I know for a fact that The Boy never uses the school bathroom unless it is a dire emergency. But I was surprised to hear that a lot of the male students don't like to use the school facilities. There is one stall in the boy's bathrooms, and three urinals. Apparently, most boys prefer to wait in line for the stall rather than line up side by side. The Boy said it's just weird to do that, he waits for the stall, too. Which tells me that if transgender girls-2-boys want to use the boys' bathroom, then the school is going to need to put in more stalls. They certainly can't use the urinals and there's already a line at the one existing stall. Personally, I think it's dangerous for a female who is dressed as a boy or transitioning to male to enter a bathroom full of teenage boys. I think that puts her (him) in danger, physically. I think it's also dangerous for a man-2-woman trans to enter a mens' room. A man wearing women's clothing going into a men's room is not safe. So, I can see why the bathroom issue is dangerous for some people in some cases, but I don't think it's as simple as they make it out to be. For one thing, they are going to need more stalls in the school bathrooms. And while we're on the subject, why would it be so wrong to make the doors on bathroom stalls actually fit? I mean, is there some legally mandated space required? Is it designed to make life easier for Peeping Toms, or is it just to discourage the use of public facilities by making people feel exposed? Whichever bathroom one uses, why is privacy the most difficult thing to find in a public restroom?
19 people like this
18 responses
• United States
13 May 16
I like the bathroom stalls in Nordstrom stores. They have real doors on their stalls which close completely, and have lots of those. Schools are the pit when it comes to bathrooms. Many schools lock the bathrooms during the day, which is just awful for kids who actually need to use them. Parents should ask their kids about this. Then, if the bathrooms are locked, call the health department. It is the only leverage you have, but it works.
3 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
I don't think anyone has ever enjoyed using the bathroom at school. I like the idea of stall doors that close. It's just creepy in public restrooms, no matter where you go.
2 people like this
@paigea (36320)
• Canada
28 May 16
@ElizabethWallace wow, I am glad I have never encountered locked bathrooms at a school! We need all washrooms to be like the ones at Nordstroms
1 person likes this
@paigea (36320)
• Canada
29 May 16
@ElizabethWallace If there is a water problem for over 2 hours (not sure of the exact time) buses are called and school is closed. School is never closed for weather, but no bathrooms, no school.
1 person likes this
@irishidid (8687)
• United States
13 May 16
I just think it's silly to do all this for such a small part of the population. My daughter is autistic and has sensory issues. We've gone into places that, by the way of their set up, cause sensory overload. I don't expect them to suddenly make sure she doesn't have a meltdown over it and I suspect there are a lot more autistic people than transgenders.
3 people like this
• United States
13 May 16
@Rollo1 Have you been to a store where there is a men's room, a woman's room and a "family" bathroom? Those are very private and would be perfect for people who have issues.
3 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
@ElizabethWallace I have been in small restaurants, etc., where they have single bathrooms. It doesn't matter how they are labeled if only one person can fit in there at a time. I think the whole issue is blown out of proportion. Public restrooms were never a good place to be unless it was absolutely necessary. I don't know why they now are considered the ultimate expression of freedom.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 May 16
@irishidid I couldn't agree more. As well the transgender folks want us to change our ideas and ways, things that have been the norm for a hundred years, in a short almost instant amount of time. They are the minority and the majority rights should not be squashed for a few.
@Fleura (30099)
• United Kingdom
13 May 16
I guess the simplest answer is individual rooms, each containing one toilet and washbasin. One person (or parent and child) can use it at a time, in private. No-one needs to know what that person has under their clothing, and there is no danger of being accosted in there by anyone else.
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
It will be costly, and it will create lines, but it seems the only truly workable solution for all parties.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (30099)
• United Kingdom
13 May 16
@Rollo1 I don't see why it would cost a lot more than the alternative of one big room with several stalls inside, it's just a question of moving some walls!
@DianneN (247186)
• United States
13 May 16
First, that is strange that there is only one stall at your son's school. Secondly, if one has the correct body parts, that is the bathroom that one should use.
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
I agree on both points. It seems they don't encourage privacy.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
13 May 16
How about this. A man goes into the lady's restroom and pulls out his "manhood" in front of a bunch of women. Then when they complain about it he yells, "Transgender! I'm transgender!" The stall doors don't fit because it's cheaper than having ones that fit.
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
Target said that if women complained about men in the bathroom they would "speak to them" - meaning speak to the ladies who objected. The world is crazy.
1 person likes this
@sgbrown (1638)
• United States
13 May 16
This entire idea infuriates me and scares me at the same time! Think of the pedophiles that would dress up as a woman just to be able to get around the young girls in the restrooms! If our country is going to allow this, then they need to be ready to install separate bathrooms for "other"!
2 people like this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
That is the point that the press seems to overlook. No one is worried about true transgender people using the bathrooms. It is those who will use this kind of law to pretend to be transgender just to gain access. It's already happened. Target has a history of these kinds of incidents, because they haven't "just" gone transgender. This has been their policy for a while, long before it was announced. Public restrooms are dangerous enough as it is. This just makes them more dangerous.
2 people like this
• United States
13 May 16
The pedophiles are in the boys' rooms. This is why most women take their sons into the ladies bathrooms.
2 people like this
@sgbrown (1638)
• United States
13 May 16
@Rollo1 This is so true! I hope it doesn't take something really bad happening to get this stopped!
@celticeagle (165728)
• Boise, Idaho
13 May 16
I have noticed that non fitting door thing myself. I feel badly for the trangendering people out there. I don't know what the answer is but I think that we need to all live together and not be so unfeeling. We are humans trying to make in this world and we need to be respectful of those that are a bit different from ourselves.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
What about the trans-abled? Those are able-bodied people who feel they should have been born with a disability. Some of them feel that one or more limbs should not be attached to their bodies. They go to extreme lengths to amputate those limbs, doing it themselves at home. One man cut off both legs with a chainsaw. One woman who identified as blind, had someone pour Drano in her eyes so she could finally be blind. I feel for those people, too. They are tortured individuals. But I wonder why lopping off some body parts is considered mental illness and lopping off other body parts is considered something else.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (165728)
• Boise, Idaho
14 May 16
@Rollo1 ....They are two very different things. Each individual has their own situation.
• Valdosta, Georgia
13 May 16
I personally think the entire thing is insane! Bathrooms are fine just the way they are...one for men and one for women.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
It would seem to be the most sensible solution, both economically and socially. But these issues get blown way out of proportion. The incidence of trans people needing to use an opposite gender bathroom cannot be that high, they are only .3% of the population.
2 people like this
• Waltham, Massachusetts
16 May 16
I think that you make a lot of good points. This is a difficult situation that may take time to resolve. I just want everyone to be able to use the bathroom comfortably as themselves. I hope and pray that someday this will occur.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
17 May 16
I think the world is full of problems, some that threaten our very existence. Personally, I think the whole bathroom thing is a non-issue. Only .3% of the population have transgender issues. I would rather pray for the 60% of the world's population that don't even have toilets at all. I think it's time we got real and stop encouraging people to be victims over nothing. I am sure that any and all people - except perhaps some disabled people - can find a public restroom to use, or can use the one they have at home. Having your own toilet is a luxury that most of the world doesn't enjoy. And they aren't worried about how equal they are in their poverty.
@valmnz (17097)
• New Zealand
22 May 16
We're apparently having the discussion re trans-gender bathrooms here in NZ too. It does all seem too PC without enough thought, more so after what you've written here.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
27 May 16
I think it's not an issue at all. That is, we're talking about a tiny 3/10 of 1 percent of the population. But, like most of these issues that become a major focus of attention, it's meant to distract us from the important issues. And it doesn't hurt if the media gets to call us names when we question the advisability of the latest plan to conform us into the media's image of the perfect global citizen.
@LadyDuck (470492)
• Switzerland
13 May 16
I have always found the US stalls weird. We have more private toilet stalls here, they are so private that many toilets are shared, I mean both men and women can use them, you close the door and you see nothing, absolutely nothing from the outside, not even the feet, because it's a normal full door.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
I am glad to hear that toilets are not such open spaces elsewhere, but I do wonder why they are so non-private in the US.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (470492)
• Switzerland
14 May 16
@Rollo1 I have never understood why are so little private in the US, I was very embarrassed when i visited and tried to wait until I was back at the hotel, but sometimes when you have to go you have to go.
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
14 May 16
I think there needs to be more floor to ceiling stalls, or one seaters, or urinals IN stalls, I wouldnt want to pee in a line with other people myself!
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
14 May 16
I like to be alone when in the bathroom. It's one of those things that I don't think people really want to share. The stalls have very little privacy to them.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
15 May 16
@Rollo1 and I cant even imagine being a dude with a line of urinals or the trough thing
@JudyEv (338393)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 May 16
I guess the answer is to have only stalls and unisex bathrooms - at least in adult areas. And of course doors that fit and shut properly.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 May 16
You are so right on the privacy issue, I have often wondered myself why the doors don't fit. I hate that little space
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
I like a handbag with a long handle, so I can hang it strategically. A large coat can also help cover the gaps.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29820)
• Momence, Illinois
13 May 16
@Rollo1 yup I have done that too. Hate sitting there doing my thing and see people walk past and of all things look. I always keep my eyes to the ground.
1 person likes this
@Rollo1 (16679)
• Boston, Massachusetts
13 May 16
@fishtiger58 that's another part of the discomfort - accidentally looking and accidentally seeing. I don't want to see, I don't want to look. But it's not always avoidable unless you look at the floor.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (50079)
• United States
17 May 16
It's certainly a bad situation.
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Jun 16
Public bathrooms are a pain everywhere in the US. Urinals in a line are a way of life for men though and I don't see that changing. Locker rooms in schools and gyms are not for the shy either.
@JESSY3236 (19862)
• United States
27 May 16
Sadly our state started all this. I think it's all about fear. I just don't see how our "law" would be enforced. Are they going to pay people to stand outside all the bathrooms everywhere to make sure people are going to the "right" bathroom. Would that be embarrassing if someone asked you what you do for a living. And you say oh I'm a bathroom checker.
14 May 16
Such an odd issue but still an issue and a serious one at that.
1 person likes this