Lending money to Friends &amp; Family...

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

oh wow, I guess you never heard back from the ex-mylotter?

5 people like this

Mike

@Mike197602 (15487)

• United Kingdom

5 Jul 16

@Drosophila no but i heard from his gf who i was also friends with. He is an idiot. Im slowly sorting out ten years of carnage that was my life. His time will come around...just because i live in the uk doesnt mean ive not got a looooong reach

5 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

@Mike197602 hahaha.. you lend money to someone you've never met. all I can say is you have a big heart!

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A A

@anya12adwi (6032)

• India

6 Jul 16

Oh no, I did once such experiment of helping my ex with 5k when he was in need but then when i was in need , he seemed so casual and carefree and straightforwardly denied me to return my money. It took me literally 4 months to make him pay my 4k. Still 1k is due but i have taken a lesson of not advancing money to anyone

3 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@anya12adwi I am so glad he is now an ex!! what a selfish person

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A A

@anya12adwi (6032)

• India

7 Jul 16

@Drosophila hell yes, me too glad that i decided to move on and happy that he was my ex.

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Bon Sharaon

@boneysharaon (177)

•

6 Jul 16

1K dollars!?

2 people like this

Boingboing

@boiboing (13153)

• Northampton, England

6 Jul 16

I lend but I don't borrow and I want my friends to know that they can come to me and not do anything foolish with a high interest loan from a bank or other lender.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

That is a very sweet thing to do

1 person likes this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@boiboing the friends and family piggy bank is way better :D

1 person likes this

Boingboing

@boiboing (13153)

• Northampton, England

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila Or you could assume I hate exploitative banks.

2 people like this

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (305792)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

5 Jul 16

I've learned not to borrow money to my family - I give because I know I'll never get it back. I borrowed from my son a couple weeks ago and gave it back to him in just a couple days.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

Very wise move. :)

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@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@just4him woot! I am glad the postcard arrived! I was starting to think where it got to! Will message you my address :) I should be here for longer now, as my landlord is no longer selling the place!

2 people like this

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (305792)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila By the way - I got your postcard today. Thank you so much. I haven't posted about it yet, but intend to. I love it. Can I send you one?

2 people like this

Reine25

@Lucky15 (37346)

• Philippines

6 Jul 16

I lent some..and.looks like they thought i am a charity org ;(

3 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

.wow.. I wonder what happened to the "empty comment there"! But yes, It must have been annoying when people just expect you to give them $$$

2 people like this

Reine25

@Lucky15 (37346)

• Philippines

6 Jul 16

@sunrisefan no more to be lent. Huhu

1 person likes this

Sunrise Fan

@sunrisefan (28524)

• Philippines

6 Jul 16

Can you lend me some, Ms. Reine?

3 people like this

Bon Sharaon

@boneysharaon (177)

•

5 Jul 16

If I help someone by giving him or her some money, I do not expect it back. But it makes me happy when the person returns it to me when I least expect. I have helped a lot of my friends and relatives by lending money to them. I can afford to do that because I get paid well from my day job. But then some people like to take advantage of me. When I was a student, I borrowed money from my friends to pay my fees, because my dad's salary was always delayed. When my dad sent me money, I returned the money to my friends.

3 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

It must be good to no longer have to borrow money off people to pay your fees

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@boneysharaon that is a nice feeling, financial self-reliance.

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Bon Sharaon

@boneysharaon (177)

•

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila Yes, since I got a job, I never ever borrowed money for anything.

2 people like this

Koalemos

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

5 Jul 16

Fortunately I have no real need to borrow, although I have lent money to friends at times.

2 people like this

Koalemos

@Asylum (47893)

• Manchester, England

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila Yes, it is nice not to worry about finances.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

Sounds like you're in a great position really

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@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@Asylum Financial worries are bad, I am glad it is a lesser concern for me these days

2 people like this

thinkingoutloud

@thinkingoutloud (6127)

• Canada

6 Jul 16

Years ago, a "soon to be in-law" came to my wedding. When she arrived in town, she asked me if I would cash a check for her because she had been paid by her employer while she was traveling and hadn't been able to go to the bank to get spending money for the time she would be in town. In the interests of being "nice" to my new in-laws, I cashed her check. A couple of days after she went home, I got notified that her check bounced. I was out hundreds of dollars plus the NSF fee! She stopped speaking to me, rather than paying me back. I learned from that experience that it's not only strangers who will take advantage of you... family will do it too! I never borrow anything from anyone and if someone needs money, I will give what I can to help... but it's never a loan because I never want to fight to be paid back again!

2 people like this

thinkingoutloud

@thinkingoutloud (6127)

• Canada

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila I was beyond angry... and incredibly hurt. Wasn't much of a "welcome to the family" to be treated that way. It was about $800... and I was paying for the whole wedding at the same time, too. Good lesson, though! ;)

2 people like this

thinkingoutloud

@thinkingoutloud (6127)

• Canada

7 Jul 16

@Drosophila At first, he was very angry with his sister... and he tried for awhile to call her, email her, etc. in order to get my money back. I think he was also initially pretty embarrassed to have his family treat me like that. But, after awhile, he started to adopt his family's usual attitude that I needed to just "let it go." I found that so frustrating because I'm just not that kind of person. His brother even said, "Well she doesn't have the money to pay it back so you should just forget about it." Not sure why I was the one that was supposed to swallow that debt, in their minds. Needless to say, I am not part of that family now either ;)

1 person likes this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

That is an appalling thing to do

1 person likes this

Curlann

@annierose (18926)

• Philippines

6 Jul 16

I tend to avoid borrowing money as much as possible. My parents, most especially my mom do not like the idea of borrowing money from others. If we need money then we just have to ask them for it or we work for it ourselves. I rarely lend money as well as sometimes lending money causes damage in friendship. I remember a friend who borrowed money to me before and then never returned the money back. I somehow felt bad about it. I did not ask her for the money. I just put in mind that I will not lend money to her again.

2 people like this

Curlann

@annierose (18926)

• Philippines

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila Do you still lend money when a person never even pay yet the previous amount he or she borrowed from you?

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@annierose No, I simply remind them what's already owed, and how I plan to calculate interest.. that typically ends the conversation. however, when it comes to my immediate family, I just give instead. Obviously, there are times I have refused to, because I know they are going to loan that money to some unreliable people.

1 person likes this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

That is a good practice, yes I consider friendship severed in cases like this. And the money lost as severance pay

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Sky

@skysnap (20154)

•

5 Jul 16

I donn't have much money so its not something I can help with to people.

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Sky

@skysnap (20154)

•

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila No. I only rented space to relatives during my bad time.

1 person likes this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@skysnap That is a good thing to do.

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@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

Sure, do you borrow money though? :)

1 person likes this

Hazel Vee

@epiffanie (11326)

• Australia

6 Jul 16

I have given away money .. it's better than lending ..I gave because I know they can't afford to pay if they borrow .. And I've never borrowed money from family and friends .

2 people like this

Hazel Vee

@epiffanie (11326)

• Australia

7 Jul 16

@Drosophila yes indeed.. and we should only give if giving won't cause us financial difficulty .. And we shouldn't give if we have to borrow money so we can give .. I know some people do that ..

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

@epiffanie ya, it's odd when people do that, I don't really understand it

1 person likes this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

That is a good way to look at it. Yes, I'd rather give than lend, within the amount I can afford of course

2 people like this

Michael Liriano

@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)

• West Haven, Connecticut

5 Jul 16

No, I learned my lesson the hard way. I lent a cousin of mine 400 dollars and he decided to befriend me instead of paying me back but karma caught up to him so I just took it as lesson learned.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

5 Jul 16

oh wow, what happened to him?

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

@BACONSTRIPSXXX goodness me! indeed! he does seem like a piece of junk.

2 people like this

Michael Liriano

@BACONSTRIPSXXX (14351)

• West Haven, Connecticut

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila He dropped out of college and got his girlfriend pregnant then a few months later ended up getting arrested for aggravated assualt against his baby mother etc, long story short, he was an A hole and karma did its job

2 people like this

Shubhu

@shubhu3 (36464)

• New Delhi, India

7 Jul 16

Nicen I don't earn currently yet my brother does and he gives us money sometimes .

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

That is very nice of your brother.

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Shubhu

@shubhu3 (36464)

• New Delhi, India

7 Jul 16

@Drosophila Thank you. :)

1 person likes this

fishtiger58

@fishtiger58 (29823)

• Momence, Illinois

6 Jul 16

It's really not a good idea to lend to family and friends, thankfully I have never been asked.

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@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

That is lucky indeed. :)

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@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

@fishtiger58 That's good no one has asked you so far

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fishtiger58

@fishtiger58 (29823)

• Momence, Illinois

6 Jul 16

@Drosophila Yes I hate to say no and if they don't ask I don't have to lol.

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Richard

@rbailey83 (1428)

• Canada

6 Jul 16

Lending money to family isn't such a big deal for me, I am pretty close with all the family members I interact with and I know they will pay me back. Friends, I am the type of person that has one or two friends but they are really strong and close friendships so again I know they will pay it back and I have no problems lending it to them when needed. I have seen my mom lend money to family before, it was a lot of money, and it was never paid back and now that relationship is no more.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

Indeed, it can be "severance pay" to a relationship if the loan is not paid back

2 people like this

rebelann1949

@rebelann (111124)

• El Paso, Texas

6 Jul 16

I'd borrow from mom n dad when I was younger and they were still here but I've never borrowed from friends, dad always cautioned that money matters can end friendships.

2 people like this

rebelann1949

@rebelann (111124)

• El Paso, Texas

6 Jul 16

Thanks @Drosophila I have to agree.

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

6 Jul 16

Your dad is a very wise man!

2 people like this

DianneN

@DianneN (246525)

• United States

6 Jul 16

Thank goodness we never had the need to, nor any of my family. As far as my husband is concerned, what's mine is mine, and what's his is mine, too! Lol!

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

hahah I like your thinking!

2 people like this

Katlynn

@Katlynn (366)

• United States

6 Jul 16

I don't recall borrowing money unless it was a situation where I didn't have change and needed it immediately for whatever reason. As soon as I got change, I immediately would pay it back. I have loaned money and have gotten burned a couple times long ago. Now, I wouldn't loan money unless I saw a true need. In some situations you are enabling bad habits (such as overspending, not being diligent with finances, etc.) by loaning people money. If they are doing the best they can and truly are in need, that is a different matter.

2 people like this

dont lend to friends family

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

Agreed,I have borrowed changes for sure! Also agree about loaning out money, sometimes it's just encouraging bad behaviour

2 people like this

Flora Whitelaw

@sylvia80 (8)

• United States

6 Jul 16

Well, I must share my experiences with you and they have not been great. At one point in my life, I actually had money!!! Yea!!!! So when my best friend since childhood asked me for $20,000 for a business deal, I didn't even ask about it. I wired it to her account the next day. Years past and I never mentioned it until I needed it for my child. To make a long story short, I didn't get it and lost this long time friend. This happened again to me with another friend who was trying to adopt a child and I lent her the funds. Got them back but lost a friend. Unfortunately, this has happened again in my 60's!!!! just recently. $20,000 loan written up I will collect the money but the friendship is over after 20 years!!!! Does that help?

2 people like this

@Drosophila (16573)

• Ireland

7 Jul 16

wow, I am sorry to hear about that! I guess no loan is the way forward.

1 person likes this

msabliss

@msabliss (34)

•

6 Jul 16

At the moment, I don't have any friend or family member who is worth lending money to. I've had a series of disappointing experiences with lending money to family members. In one such case, I lent $100 to a family member about five years ago, To date, I'm still waiting to be reimbursed this sum! Concerning friends, I've lent money to a friend who has since cut all contact with me. Mine is surely an irritating experience.

2 people like this