Giving Up a Christmas Tradition
By patgalca
@patgalca (18481)
Orangeville, Ontario
November 22, 2016 10:08pm CST
To add to my emotional issues I had another one thrown at me today. My sister emailed me and asked if I could bring my mother to my house for Christmas Day dinner. It's not a problem but with our whole family getting together on Boxing Day, I cannot expect my girls to spend all three days (Christmas Eve is our traditional night) with us and not their boyfriends' families. I also can't have my mother over for dinner and not have my girls here.
So it looks like my forever Christmas Eve tradition is going to have to draw to an end simply because my girls have other families now. This is why I wanted more than two kids LOL! I hope we can regain the Christmas Eve tradition with mass and the hunt for the Christmas Eve box when grandchildren come into the picture but there will still be the other families.
The holidays are so depressing. And I've got pressure in other directions as well (church readers for Christmas and New Year's - can't get any; and the writing group putting together a proposal for a writing contest with the library - this stuff tends to fall in my lap). And don't forget the illness. I'm in a lot of pain and not sleeping well... probably because of what is going on with my husband right now.
I need a vacation.
7 people like this
11 responses
@LadyDuck (502729)
• Italy
23 Nov 16
You surely need a vacation. I am going to break a tradition this year too. It is our 45th anniversary two days after Christmas, so we are going to live for a short vacation the Christmas Eve and come back on the 28th. No family reunion this year.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 Nov 16
@Happy2BeMe I'm looking into it.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
24 Nov 16
@patgalca that would be a great idea. A vacation away would be great for both of you.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
23 Nov 16
@marlina She is pretty good at listening to the things I say and surprising me with a gift I had mentioned. For example, I showed her a pandora charm on Hawaii.com. You can only get them at the store in Hawaii, not online. I showed it to her and she bought one very similar to it for my birthday. You think she's not paying attention when in fact she is. But this "gift" is a little big.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
23 Nov 16
Sounds like a vacation would certainly be helpful. I think it would help me also. The year has been full of surprises and new challenges. May 2017 be a great year. Big hugs hope your able to get some sleep.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
23 Nov 16
@Fishmomma I always wish for the next year to be better than the year before but it seems to be sliding in the opposite direction for me. I get to sleep at night with the help of sleeping pills but I wake up early (like when hubby comes in from working the night shift) and can't get back to sleep... like today. Plus I woke up in a great deal of pain. I'm not even going to write down the thoughts I've been feeling today. 
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
24 Nov 16
The same with my family except I'm one of those kids 
. Basically my parents say pick a day all isn't at someone else house. Usually Christmas day for breakfast and then dinner sometimes the same day or boxing day. Usually it's my sister who ruins all plans and she needs to be with her boyfriend. Anyone I've dated we went separate ways if it was scheduled the same day so I went to mime and he'd go to his. I have to work Xmas day and it's no big deal to me. I'll stop in the morning and eat then go to work. My sister will make it sound like I'm going to kill everyone yet she'll be the one late or not even show up.
. Basically my parents say pick a day all isn't at someone else house. Usually Christmas day for breakfast and then dinner sometimes the same day or boxing day. Usually it's my sister who ruins all plans and she needs to be with her boyfriend. Anyone I've dated we went separate ways if it was scheduled the same day so I went to mime and he'd go to his. I have to work Xmas day and it's no big deal to me. I'll stop in the morning and eat then go to work. My sister will make it sound like I'm going to kill everyone yet she'll be the one late or not even show up.1 person likes this
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 Nov 16
When I was growing up and my siblings were married with children, they would alternate years as to how they would do Christmas Day at my parents. They would either come for brunch, overlap with the dinner crowd for gift opening, and then go to their in-laws for dinner, or vice versa. We had 5 kids and a slew of grandkids. I just have the two daughters who both have boyfriends.
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
24 Nov 16
@ricki_911 I prefer it when my husband has to work so I don't have to deal with him and his drinking, but now I rely on him to go get my mother and return her (it's over an hour drive one way). I am learning a lot about people's family issues over the holidays from this post and it's pretty sad that it is so complicated and not really a happy time. That is why I treasure our Christmas Eve with my own little family. Before the boyfriends it started with mass, then a walk in the Christmas park, then I gave them clues to find the Christmas Eve box which contained jammies, a movie or two, a book or two and snacks to finish out the evening with. When the boyfriends entered the picture we eliminated the walk in the park (because it's the same every year) and added a dinner with the boyfriends after mass. After the boyfriends left we still did the Christmas Eve box but it got late so I eliminated the "treasure hunt" aspect of it a couple of years ago. I said I was going to stop the Christmas Eve box (a tradition I started for my own family) as long as they promised to do it for their own children. They are probably going to rely on me to do it, which is fine as long as I can spend part of Christmas with my kids and grandchildren.
@ricki_911 (21625)
• Toronto, Ontario
24 Nov 16
@patgalca It worked out for my parents as my Mom an only child, and my Dad had 1 brother and 1 sister (who his sister had everyone for dinner). Now that stopped about 5 years ago. But my parents have us kids, and my Grandma over. But I find my siblings don't do anything if it has nothing to do with their boyfriends or girlfriends faily.My sister is the worse, she demands a dinner and then doesn't show up. My older brother and I are the only one who actually shows up on time or at all. I usually have to work so I drop in the morning.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
23 Nov 16
I no longer have the traditional Christmas meal that I use to have with my children. They all have in laws and tend to spend holidays with them now. I do miss the way things use to be but it is what it is and I have to accept it. It can get depressing. I think you need a get away it would do you good to have a nice vacation! Just to have some fun and relax!
1 person likes this
@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
23 Nov 16
I can understand you are going through a tough time...
Have faith in your Jesus...
He will.surely help you..
This Christmas will bring good luck but dont you lose hope..
I shall pray for you
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (7558)
• Oxford, England
24 Nov 16
Sometimes Christmas puts the pressure on. We solved it by not always having Christmas on 25th December. Last year it was Christmas eve and my grandson had his stocking Christmas eve morning. That meant he saw my parents for Christmas and could also be with hid dad on Christmas day. It is a little crazy, but it works
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
23 Nov 16
Our family does a Boxing Day brunch. Most years all five of the kids are home and the grandkids are present. This has been our tradition for many years. We add to the Christmas confusion with a couple of birthdays. Our DIL has a birthday December 24. Her parents have a Christmas open house that evening. Our SIL has his birthday on December 25. He is an only child to a widowed mother. We know where they celebrate. Our daughters birthday is December 31. Talk about a nutty week. I've long ago learned not to stress about who will or won't be present.
@patgalca (18481)
• Orangeville, Ontario
23 Nov 16
@Morleyhunt The last thing I want is to be alone. Last year hubby took off on Christmas night to go see his parents in Prince Edward Island. My younger daughter and I went to a movie.
Almost the end of the year..you can do this! 
