Do you have friends who can't "chill"?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (228555)
Walnut Creek, California
December 20, 2016 11:10am CST
How do you deal with friend who cannot relax and enjoy the moment?
This past Sunday, two friends and I were recording some tracks for a "tape" of our music for what will probably wind up being a "demo tape."
But the best part of the afternoon was when we just turned off the machines and "jammed" for awhile. Beer was consumed, new songs emerged, and we had a good time.
In Mike's and my other band, our "lead vocalist" calls our music get-togethers "rehearsals," and we work on the same songs over and over.
When we play "out," he appears "uptight," and that detracts from the performances, my friends report. He can't "go with the flow."
Mike and I were discussing the fact that he has never simply" jammed"with us, to get that feeling of spontaneity that audiences like.
We're thinking of inviting him over, plying him with alcohol (not an issue), and getting him to "jam" with us. No "rehearsal." No set agenda.
Do you have friends who can't chill? How do you help them along?
18 people like this
16 responses
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
20 Dec 16
lol am one of those? who just can't chill? though, my issue is either I get bored.. or I get bored..
your friend sounds like he just isn't comfortable with the band or performing yet.. the only key is probably "practice".. give him an agenda that's to stay not on agenda, and am sure he'll roll with it just fine
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16571)
• Ireland
20 Dec 16
@TheHorse hahah indeed, yes, you sound like me.. I tend to get bored when I have nothing to do, then I get depressed ahahaha
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (228555)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Dec 16
@Drosophila Haha....I can too. That's why I like to have projects going on. I like to be spontaneous, but I do like having things to do. If I just sat around contemplating my navel, my navel would start to look grotesque, and I would get anxious and depressed.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (176935)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Dec 16
No, I am usually the one who can't chill. Haha
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (176935)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Dec 16
@TheHorse .....Always nice to chill after a day of work.
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Dec 16
it's certainly worth a shot, maybe it will help.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50523)
• Centralia, Missouri
21 Dec 16
@TheHorse I look forward to seeing how it goes
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (228555)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Dec 16
@Jessicalynnt I'll keep you posted.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29411)
• Eugene, Oregon
21 Dec 16
That sounds like a plan that will help him and the group out.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29819)
• Momence, Illinois
21 Dec 16
Now that we are much older all my friends seem chill to me lol.
1 person likes this
@crossbones27 (50918)
• Mojave, California
20 Dec 16
Or you can accidentally spill some 151 on him and light him on fire. I make bad jokes. 
1 person likes this
@amadeo (111938)
• United States
20 Dec 16
is he shy? lot of people cannot chill.They either have mental block or they do not want to make of fool .Just saying.
I have some problem with people around.But mine is a different story.
any chance you guys making a video on your playing?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (228555)
• Walnut Creek, California
20 Dec 16
This is us in a friend's living room.
Durt Cheap sounding like a million bucks on this old country classic.
@teamfreak16 (43418)
• Denver, Colorado
20 Dec 16
Isn't jamming the most fun part of being a musician?
1 person likes this
@riteeshpatidar9026 (504)
•
21 Dec 16
@TheHorse I always say them that life is meant to enjoy every seconds....
What do you say?
@nosleee3134 (214)
• United States
20 Dec 16
I mean hear what you are saying but i must scream contridiction before i say anything let me ask you a question why do you use mylot
1 person likes this
@Dream_Cloud (11)
•
21 Dec 16
@TheHorse
I usually have a technique which I use, right before entering a stage or any gathering. It makes me loosen up and not overthink everything I do when all eyes are on me.
Tongue twisters... Yeah , lol you heard me right xD
Lemme tell you why this works ... when you say a tongue twister you usually concentrate on getting the pronunciation right, you never end up thinking anything which might affect your performance.
I totally understand your friend ... he just feels pressurised when everyone's eyes are on him. He feels they expect more from him than what he can give, which puts him in immense pressure and he might be tending to screw up. So try to loosen him up by asking him to keep saying a tongue twister out loud xD
@just4him (318811)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
21 Dec 16
I hope it works on him. I don't have a lot of friends, so that is not an issue.
@JudyEv (358354)
• Rockingham, Australia
21 Dec 16
This sounds a good idea. I think most of our friends are 'chilly' but then we rarely do anything that requires any other trait these days.
