Bad News in the Family

@just4him (311401)
Green Bay, Wisconsin
December 25, 2016 9:52pm CST
My sister just called. This time of night it's never good news when the phone rings. My sister sent out Christmas cards to our cousins, she has the addresses, I don't, and got a card in return from our cousin's wife, with an obituary in it. Nobody in the family bothered to call or let us know that our cousin passed away last month. It was a complete shock. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the news. I've since called my older son, he was his Godfather, and my younger son to let him know as well. My sister was hurt that no one let us know he had passed. I have to agree with her about how it looked that none of us were at the funeral because we are the only cousins and family from his mother's side of the family. My dad only had one sibling, so there was only us, and they didn't even let us know. I'm sure there was a good showing from their dad's side of the family. It's just hurtful they wouldn't let anyone know about it and we didn't go to support the family. Not the best way to end Christmas day. Thanks for reading.
36 people like this
28 responses
@AmbiePam (86636)
• United States
26 Dec 16
Do you think they were just so shocked it blanked their minds? I am trying to think of a good reason since I know your cousin was important to you.
4 people like this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
He was. I have no idea why they didn't contact us. I doubt it blanked their minds.
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
26 Dec 16
well all I can think is, that in grief and stuff, they weren't thinking clearly
3 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
26 Dec 16
@just4him well I am sorry for your loss
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
@Jessicalynnt Thank you.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Somebody wasn't, that's for sure. I know when my brother and parents passed, I was the designated person to call everyone here in Green Bay where my cousins live. I don't know who was supposed to call us, but nobody did. It really hurt to find out the way my sister did. I called my older son last night when I got off the phone to her to let him know his godfather had passed, and also called my younger son.
1 person likes this
@tammys85 (29984)
• Baltimore, Maryland
2 Jan 17
I am so sorry to hear of this, and I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
1 person likes this
@tammys85 (29984)
• Baltimore, Maryland
6 Jan 17
@just4him Awe man. :( Are you okay?
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
6 Jan 17
@tammys85 Yes. My sister gave me her address so I can send a sympathy card to his wife.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
2 Jan 17
Yeah me too. He was a favorite cousin.
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (31962)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Sorry to hear this
2 people like this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Thank you. It was a shock to learn this a month after it happened.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (463269)
• Switzerland
26 Dec 16
I am very sorry, I cannot understand why nobody informed you this was very rude.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (463269)
• Switzerland
27 Dec 16
@just4him My sister in law is reaching the end of her days. She was diagnosed a final stage cancer 2 months ago. We do not believe she will see the end of the year.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Dec 16
@LadyDuck That is so sad. My prayers go out to you and your family.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Yes it was rude. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@shaynas (5488)
• India
27 Dec 16
This is really sad :(
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
@shaynas What? Why they didn't let us know? No, I don't know why they didn't contact us.
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
Thank you. It is. He was only 65.
1 person likes this
@shaynas (5488)
• India
28 Dec 16
@just4him Did you get to know, how did this happen?
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 16
Wow, that is a slap in the face for sure. I am sorry to hear of your cousin's passing. Sad that people really don't follow through with things that should be done. Big hugs to you.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Thank you. It was a shock.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 16
@just4him They were very inconsiderate not to tell you.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
@ElusiveButterfly Yes they were.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (158349)
• United States
27 Dec 16
That would bother me a lot. However, they did choose to exclude you.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
Yes they did.
@fluffysue (1482)
• United States
27 Dec 16
I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you had to find out that way. I am hoping they just forgot in the moment, but the fact they just sent the obituary in a Christmas card...that is just horrible really.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Dec 16
Yes it is thoughtless. My cousin's wife was the one who sent the obit.
@DianneN (247204)
• United States
28 Dec 16
Oh, boy. That should never happen in any family. So sorry I missed this. I can't keep up with all your posts, Val!!!!
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
Sorry about that. So go take a look at my latest post. No it should never happen. I don't know why it did, but it really puts a kink in our family relationships.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (329109)
• Rockingham, Australia
27 Dec 16
That is very sad but very rude and inconsiderate of your cousin's family that did know and could have told you.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
27 Dec 16
I'm so sorry, my condolences
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Dec 16
Thank you. It was a shock to find out the way we did.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
27 Dec 16
@just4him I'm sure it was.
1 person likes this
27 Dec 16
I am sorry for your loss. It is actually a complete surprise knowing that your family was not informed even though you're the only cousins they have on the mother's side. I hope they had a good reason.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
I hope so too. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@oracle1ac (352)
27 Dec 16
so sorry about your lose..not a good news this Christmas time
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Dec 16
No it wasn't. Thank you.
• Valdosta, Georgia
26 Dec 16
I'm sorry for your loss and that no one even let you know-that is terrible. =(
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Yes it is. Thank you.
• United States
26 Dec 16
perhaps y'all can get together'n 've a memorial service fer him?
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Dec 16
I know we're not going to do that, but my sister is sending a card for this part of the family.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (209244)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Dec 16
I'd be disappointed too. Family dynamics are complicated and sometimes ungodly frustrating. Sorry to hear of your loss.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Thank you very much.
1 person likes this
@Meramar (2695)
26 Dec 16
A very sad experience. It must be terrible that had no chance to assist in a moment like this.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
It was terrible. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99373)
• Canada
27 Dec 16
So sorry to hear this. It wasn't right of them not to let you know. Had your sister never sent that Christmas card, you still wouldn't know and who knows when you would have found out.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
27 Dec 16
It's likely we wouldn't have found out. So it was good for my sister to send out Christmas cards to the family.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 16
I'm so sorry for your loss. Will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
1 person likes this
@just4him (311401)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
26 Dec 16
Thank you so much.