When Does Collecting Become Hoarding?
By pumpkinjam
@pumpkinjam (8876)
United Kingdom
February 6, 2017 6:26am CST
Compulsive hoarding or hoarding disorder was only recently defined as a mental disorder. When watching television shows or reading newspaper articles, it is often seen that people live in what we might call a pigsty or, as my mother always said about my childhood bedroom, "it looks like a bomb's hit it." Often seen as papers, boxes, and even rubbish piled from floor to ceiling, spread across and around a room or house.
I've had two people say that I was a hoarder. Well, one said it and the other implied it. The one who said it was a friend who helped to declutter a house I lived in with my ex. The friend threw away quite a lot of things, including books. Now, to me, books are not something you throw away unless they are damaged beyond repair. This friend, however, was not someone who appreciated the value of books and reading. Besides that, while I admit I am messy and I would occasionally find the odd toy or book left behind by one of the children, it was my ex who owned the majority of the stuff we didn't need or use and which turned up over and over again every time I tried to tidy.
Fast forward to more recently. As a result of something going on at Mini's school, I was asked about the relationship with his father. I'd talked about how unhelpful he was and how he would make more mess than the rest of us put together while refusing to believe that he should help to tidy it up (or, better still, not make unnecessary mess in the first place). I mentioned that it was to the point where a bin was under his desk but he'd still throw rubbish on the floor. After explaining this, the person to whom I was talking asked if the problem was between him and me hoarding. I am not sure why. I can only assume that she is another person who sees that we have a lot of books but doesn't appreciate their value. Or, perhaps, it was the games cupboard which took her interest. We have a small cupboard, which has games inside but we have more games than cupboard space so a lot of games are piled on the top. So, we have a dedicated corner of the room for different things - games in one, CDs and books in another, and the TV in another with an alcove behind where I store my needlecraft box and computer games. The room is quite big so the things in the corners do not take up a lot of it.
I couldn't help but wonder, though, if someone sees my collection of board games and assumes that keeping such a collection is hoarding, would they think the same of someone who is into sports and has a collection of trophies or sports equipment?
Another thing about hoarding is, I think, it is a compulsion and it is about refusing (or not being able) to let go of things even if those things haven't been used for several years. I've also been told that I should get rid of the things I don't use. I could do that, I suppose, but I wouldn't get rid of much as, apart from a few ornaments and photographs, I don't own anything I don't use.
So, is it a matter of opinion whether a person is a collector or a hoarder? Is it simply because it's a new thing that people want to find it anywhere they can? Or is there a particular point where a collection becomes hoarding? Does the nature of the collection make a difference? To me, as long as I can keep my collections tidy then they are not a problem.
The concern I have is the same as I have for other disorders - the term gets bandied about so much where it's not accurate that those who genuinely suffer may be unable to get the help they need, especially when people start saying that it's overused!
Are you a hoarder or a collector?
8 people like this
8 responses
@JudyEv (382207)
• Rockingham, Australia
6 Feb 17
Some people may not be tidy but that doesn't make them a hoarder. I grew up in a family where most things were kept in case they were needed further down the track. There wasn't the money to buy new stuff. Most things were kept in case of need. So in some sense it is a matter of opinion. I wouldn't let others lay a guilt trip on me.
3 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 17
My family were always the same. I even wrote a poem about it (unfortunately, it was written on a site which no longer exists, and I didn't save the poem). It was all about Mum telling Dad to get rid of all his 'that might come in handy' things. Dad got rid of them and then Mum asked for a marble (or some other random thing that was considered to never having been of use) which had been thrown out!
I still hold on to things in case they are needed later. My other half says I should throw away the cereal boxes and yoghurt pots from under my sink. But I keep telling him it's for junk modelling when my niece and nephew come over!
2 people like this
@JudyEv (382207)
• Rockingham, Australia
8 Feb 17
@pumpkinjam We don't get to have too many kids come over but if we did I'd be keeping boxes and pots too.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230350)
• Chile
6 Feb 17
Accorfing to what I have seen on TV (all sorts of things placed everywhere among rats and roaches) I´m not a hoarder. But I have several shelves with books and I have some collections. I have a clean home though.
3 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 17
I think if someone is keeping so much stuff that they have infestations, then there's a problem. My home isn't particularly tidy but it is mostly clean!
1 person likes this
@scheng1 (24649)
• Singapore
8 Feb 17
I think that depends on whether you use the items that you collected.
If you read the books that you have collected, and you are likely to re-read some of them, that is all right.
As for those books that you have read and you are sure that you are not going to read again, then a good idea is to give them away.
There are many places to deposit the books for other book readers.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb 17
I agree with that. If you know you're never going to use something, it makes sense to pass it on to someone who will use it. Although, I think a lot of people keep things of sentimental value even if they're not used. Such as keeping a book or an ornament which has been passed down through generations or something made by a child.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
6 Feb 17
I wrote recently about realizing that, among our many bookcases, I have over twenty books that I have not yet read, yet keep buying others. I share your love of books of course. We "downsized" to a smaller house two years ago, got rid of a lot of "stuff" but not enough. I write a lot and the area around my desk is quite messy. I do help pick up and clean though.
2 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 17
Twenty? Is that all?! :) There are over twice that many books just in our Doctor Who book collection, then lots of other books besides. Many of them are new, so haven't yet been read. Others have been partially read because I forget what I was reading!
I also write a lot so I've often got writing paper and notes all over my table. It does get tidied regularly, though. I don't mind how much mess someone makes as long as they tidy up after themselves.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
10 Feb 17
@pumpkinjam My writing area is a bit of a mess all the time.
@vickyrose (2236)
• Cooma, Australia
11 Feb 17
I have three big bookcases for my books. I am a consultant and refer to these books. I have one small shelf for fiction books though, I haven't read these books yet but when I do, I donate the fiction books and outdated non fiction.
2 people like this

@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 17
That's good to only have what you need. It is nice to have one or two luxuries, though, and there may be some discrepancy between what different people consider a necessity. :)
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10342)
• Cochin, India
7 Feb 17
@pumpkinjam yes that is correct. Living standards affect from selecting the necessities.
@vickyrose (2236)
• Cooma, Australia
11 Feb 17
I used to be both, then I had to move to a small flat, I had no choice but to declutter. No more collections, I go to the library, museums, to borrow books and marvel at collections of others. I now enjoy space! Instead of being custodian of stuff...
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
13 Feb 17
Oddly enough, I moved from a larger place to a smaller place but I seem to have more stuff and more space. It does make sense when I think about it, though. My ex had stuff all over the place taking up much of our 3 bedroom house, so much so that I really only had a nook in the bedroom for anything of my own. Now, it's just me and my youngest most of the time. He doesn't make much mess and I have room for my games and books. I'll never get rid of my games as we play them a lot but if I needed to, I'd perhaps get rid of some of the books we no longer read.
1 person likes this
@vickyrose (2236)
• Cooma, Australia
13 Feb 17
@pumpkinjam my kids have bigger space, I gave them the board games and we play around their place.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11658)
• United States
8 Mar 17
I watch the television show Hoarders when I can't figure out what is leaving. Things leave, as never want to become so attached that I keep to much. Books I love and many haven't been read, but I'll get to them. I collect books and think there is nothing wrong with having a book room in my home. The room is clean and the shelves are organized, so can find a book.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
8 Mar 17
I think as long as everything is clean, and not taking up so much space that you can't move around, then it's OK. I admit that I can be rather disorganised so things tend to look messy at times! But, as I said, as long as it's not causing a problem then it's OK.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
7 Feb 17
basically when you can't see the walls in every room and you have footpaths going through them,you're in trouble.
i collect,but i do have hoarders in my family i have to keep an eye on.already cleared this house out once and it ain't happening again.
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (8876)
• United Kingdom
7 Feb 17
It does need to be kept in check. I suppose that there could be a fine line between it being OK and not being OK. It's the kind of thing that can just creep up without realising until it's too late.
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