A Heart That Wouldn't Stop

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He had been sick for quite a few years. In and out of the hospitals and doctor's offices. Even at home he was laying in a hospital bed. With only one kidney that was failing miserably, and open wounds on his body, he still always found humor in something. In April, he found himself very constipated. His wife did everything she could to relieve him. Nothing worked. He finally became very ill, and asked her to call 911 which she did. On the way to the hospital, his heart stopped three times. Of course, they did everything in their power to 'bring him back'. He did not have a DNR ( Do Not Resuscitate ) order. In the ICU, they had him on medications to keep his blood pressure up and to keep his heart beating. He was what you call a 'full code'. This means, if he stops breathing or his heart stops beating, you try to bring him back no matter what. He was in 'septic shock'.( His bowels had stopped working, and had died.) When I saw him, his skin was burned from the defibrillator. He was swollen beyond recognition, and he was purple and mottled. He had broken ribs from the chest compression during CPR. I put my gloved hand on his forehead. He was COLD. For all intents and purposes, this man was dead. Medication and a respirator was keeping his heart beating. The only organ working in his body, but his wife was waiting for a miracle. She couldn't be the one to pull the plug. I talked to his wife. I told her that he was gone. He had been gone for a while. I hugged her, and told her what she needed to do. She needed to let him go. She thanked me, and in a few hours, he was pronounced dead, 3 minutes after they stopped the medications and extubated him. Thankfully, any suffering he endured, was over. This man was my Father-in-law. I had never felt so terrible to have this conversation with a family member of a patient. My family member.