Weight gain
@sprite1950 (30461)
Corsham, England
April 28, 2018 3:06pm CST
If your partner put on a lot of weight would it put you off?
Recently one of my friends confided in me that her husband had put on a lot of weight and she no longer found him attractive. She said she still loved him but was finding the physical side of their marriage difficult.
When I was married my husband put on some weight but I didn't really mind because I cared about him. Although we broke up physical appearance was not the problem.
How would you feel if your husband/partner piled on the pounds? Would you suggest they go on a diet or just love them the way they are?
17 people like this
18 responses
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
28 Apr 18
I would have no problem with it. They are still the person I love regardless of their size. What if they go sick and thin would that change your feelings? You love somebody through the good and bad times. If you truly love somebody you would not change your feels because they gained weight.
3 people like this
@rakski (156481)
• Philippines
28 Apr 18
@Happy2BeMe I agree with you there. The size of their body should not define or limit our love for them
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
@Happy2BeMe That's a really good attitude to have. I think a relationship should not be based on looks although if weight gain affected personality too it could cause problems.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99353)
• Canada
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 I agree if a person changed their personality then it is more then physical appearance.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29882)
• Manila, Philippines
28 Apr 18
I dont mind much because my husband is really healthy hehehe and I find them really attractive than those who are physically fit.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
28 Apr 18
I don't mind if a man is cuddly although I don't think I would like him to be huge.
2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29882)
• Manila, Philippines
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 Yes, not too big I think. As long as my arms can still be felt when I hug him, that is fine. 
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
My partner is a little too thin. I think it makes him look ill.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502466)
• Italy
30 Apr 18
@sprite1950 My husband is very thin, but he does not look ill.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
30 Apr 18
@LadyDuck That's good. Slim and fit looking is what we are all aiming for!
1 person likes this
@Iam_jauntyjen (5452)
•
29 Apr 18
My husband has put on a lot of weight. Before we got married he was already on the heavy side but now he is heavier than before. I am more concerned of his health than his physical appearance. I have been talking him into loosing weight but just does not care. In fact, he already has fatty liver but he still loves his grilled pork belly.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
Oh dear. You don't want him to be uhealthy. You'll just have to keep trying to persuade him to eat more healthily.
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
2 May 18
@ConVolines Some people just don't seem to care that their body has deteriorated. .. do they even notice? It's like when you look at a photo of yourself when you were much younger and think "God I look young there".
1 person likes this
@ConVolines (1449)
•
2 May 18
Lie to him, and tell him he's getting too fat to sleep with. That should motivate him to lose some weight and stop eating things that are bad for his fatty liver.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
28 Apr 18
I suppose if they got huge it could be a problem and they should diet not only for the way they look but for their health.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
I think there is more pressure to be beautiful when you are young, I try to keep myself looking as nice as I can for my age.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
@rheicel About 15 years I think. We all change in that amount of time but he has put on a lot of weight. He's nice though.
1 person likes this
@rheicel (7065)
• Philippines
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 Oh, yes a person should always act in their age but I think there's nothing wrong if older people still want to look beautiful if they're comfortable with it I think it would be fine. How long have they been married anyway?
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
29 Apr 18
I wouldn't mind it if my partner puts on a lot of weight. As he is thin, he may look better and healthier if he puts on a lot of weight. lol
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
@caopaopao Yes I think he would look better with a few extra pounds 
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (12395)
• China
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 So we can handle the put on weight thing easily.lol
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
1 May 18
I think that if my wife piled on the pounds it would also indicate a personality change in her not just a physical change.
She has always kept herself in shape and been proud of her appearance. Any significant increase in weight would indicate a loss of self esteem which would be more of a concern than any resulting physical issues.
The same can be said of me. I would be worried about my own self esteem if I allowed myself to put on a large amount of weight.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
2 May 18
Self esteem is important. I find it harder to keep the extra pounds off in the winter and as I grow older as I think the metabolism slows down. Thankfully I'm pretty average though and I do try to watch what I eat. It's that dastardly chocolate that calls out to me each time I pass a shop!
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
2 May 18
@WorDazza A few people tell me I have problems so that's just one more I can add to the list
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
2 May 18
@sprite1950 You here chocolate speaking to you? I think you might have bigger problems than putting on a few extra pounds 
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
28 Apr 18
I would never criticize their weight, but I might produce healthy lower calorie foods and encourage (accompany them) for walks and other activities.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
They would probably get what you were hinting at if you made them do all that!
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21741)
• Canada
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 but in our family....I'm the one with the weight problem.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
28 Apr 18
Not going to lie, my boyfriends looks were one of the things I loved about him when we met. But over the last 6 years of our almost 8 year relationship, he has gone back and forth between gaining and losing weight. And no, I am not physically attracted to him when he gains, but I still love him and want to be with him [most days].
I myself have gained weight during our relationship. Though by using birth control. And he has said I'm fat, because he met me when I was stick thin and needed more fat on me. Oh well. We still love one another, and looks aren't everything.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
Physical attraction is very important when you first meet someone but looks don't last forever so there has to be something else to keep the relationship going. You seem to be doing ok Courtney and it sounds like you and your boyfriend love each other even if you have put a little weight on. 
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
@Courtlynn Sometimes if someone has a great personality they become attractive. I once had a boyfriend with terrible acne but I thought he was gorgeous because he was such a lovely person.
@Courtlynn (67089)
• United States
29 Apr 18
@sprite1950 Looks matter 24/7 to some, while they don't matter at all to others. And to some, it only matters til they fall in love. Each person is different. But you can't ever truly love someone, if feelings are only based on their looks.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
3 May 18
Yes it's not all about looks. If you care about someone you can help them become fit again.
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@nela13 (59365)
• Portugal
3 May 18
@sprite1950 I think the family support is extremely necessary to lose weight.
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@nela13 (59365)
• Portugal
3 May 18
@sprite1950 neither we, but we never know, sometimes even a disease can make us gain weight due to medication.
1 person likes this
@anamika161088 (11866)
• India
2 May 18
I would prefer to let him lose weight but not by diet rather by exercise and gym
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
2 May 18
I suppose both can be quite important.
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
2 May 18
@anamika161088 It would have to be exercise I guess then.
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@anamika161088 (11866)
• India
2 May 18
@sprite1950 Agree. But my spouse already take healthy diet. Being more healthier would not be possible
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
30 Apr 18
Does he get offended or is he ok about it?
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@aureliah (24687)
• Kenya
1 May 18
@sprite1950 No he is never offended. He listens to me
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@porwest (112876)
• United States
30 Apr 18
It depends by what you mean by how much. I tend to think that if you love someone, though, you do so unconditionally. But just like my wife may tell me I am drinking too much, it is because she cares about me and my health, weight can certainly affect health, and one wonders what underlying issues may be causing it...so...I guess one could say something out of care and concern. But it should have little to do with anything else. Perhaps even physical attraction.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
1 May 18
I agree. I remember when I was married and my husband gained a little pot belly, I grew quite attached to it.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
3 May 18
@porwest I know two very large sisters who married skinny men and their marriages were very happy. We're all different in what we like.
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@porwest (112876)
• United States
3 May 18
@sprite1950 I actually like...healthier women...so my wife's weight has never been a problem.
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
Some people like their food so much that they don't want to cut back.
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@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
Definitely not but if a person becomes very overweight it can be a little off putting.
@sprite1950 (30461)
• Corsham, England
29 Apr 18
Oh yes, I know that with diabetes it's important to look after yourself.
1 person likes this
@Starmaiden (9308)
• Canada
28 Apr 18
If it was mainly my cooking that put the weight on him, I would change the menu to more healthy meals. I would also explain to him the reason why I did this.
1 person likes this
Something like that.
