"Get to work and Ill do the same." (What's the best way to teach a kid values?)
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238356)
Walnut Creek, California
September 27, 2018 5:32pm CST
I just received a phone call from my 9-year-old neighbor friend. He wants to play. I told him that I would love to play, but that I have some paperwork that I have to do first (true). He asked his mom (from Croatia, and quite strict) if he could go to the pool with me, and she said, "Not right now."
I asked my buddy if he had homework to do, and he answered in the affirmative. I said, "OK, you get to work on your homework, and I'll get to work on my paperwork, and then you ask your mom when your homework is done, or almost done." He said that sounded like a good plan.
I am going to do some paperwork and listen to music. I ended our phone call with the quotation in my title. Do you think we'll get to go to the pool? When it comes to values, what do you think is the best way to teach kids? I think it's through "modeling," or what you do.
10 people like this
12 responses
@marguicha (230365)
• Chile
27 Sep 18
I wholly agree. I could not ask my daughters not to smoke because I was smoking at that time. Now one of them does not smoke and the other knows that we can quit.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238356)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Sep 18
I accept my flaws and balance them against my strengths. My "pretend son" knows that I drink now and then, smoke now and then, and even play (sinful) rock and roll music, as well as folk, Western swing and jazz. If he grows up into an adult who smokes occasionally, drinks occasionally, plays all different kinds of music (I'm teaching him scales right now), and has a Ph.D. in Engineering, I will be happy. None of us is perfect. Only God is perfect.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (135966)
• Marion, Ohio
28 Sep 18
That is the best way I know of. Hopefully you get a swim in today.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
28 Sep 18
letting them fail once in a while to learn perserverence helps,instead of these people that reward kids for the slightest little thing now.
"everybody gets a prize"..then what's the point of competing?
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Sep 18
Sounds like the best way, well done.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238356)
• Walnut Creek, California
27 Sep 18
Thanks. I adore this kid. I've been his "dad" since he was three. I'm more "lenient" than his mom," but I still model hard work and getting things done, followed by rewarding oneself with a "good time." When we refinish wood surfaces together, we're doing both at the same time.
1 person likes this
@JamesHxstatic (29410)
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Sep 18
@TheHorse Yes, I know you have spent a lot of time with him.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
28 Sep 18
Exactly, kids will do as the see other doing no matter what it is.A niece watched me figure the bills, and went with me to pay then, we also went for egg rolls when I told her I had extra. Now she is paying for a house, owns several cars and has excellent credit. He brother watched his mother, throw money here and there, not a pot to pee in, he is exactly like her.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
28 Sep 18
I agree. Even with our "special" kids I tell them to get their job done, even if their job is to pull down their pants and sit on the potty or to carry their lunch box after lunch. My work is to carry my bag, his work is to carry his.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
28 Sep 18
You can teach with words but if your actions don't match them you're not believed. If a child is given chores they are expected to do that gets them started on the right road. We were expected to do certain things on a daily or weekly basis and those habits helped us build a good work ethic. I don't remember watching my mom do the same things although I do have memories of my dad doing more outside.
I think once my mom trained us how to do the housework it her have her time to make our clothes out make doll clothes and do other things for us. We were never taught why we had to do chores, but yet we still built good habits and learned what was needed.
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Sep 18
Yes, by example. You also enforced his mother's discipline, which was good.
@JudyEv (382457)
• Rockingham, Australia
29 Sep 18
I think you are right. And that's a lovely photo. Did you take that? If so, you must have a good camera! 
That's a joke. People say that but often don't realise it's a put down - like someone saying if you play guitar really well that you must have an expensive guitar.
That's a joke. People say that but often don't realise it's a put down - like someone saying if you play guitar really well that you must have an expensive guitar.