What attracts you to people?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (206819)
Walnut Creek, California
January 25, 2019 4:19pm CST
There is area of social psychology research called "beautyism." There is an overlapping but separate area of social psychology research called "interpersonal attraction." Both deal, in one way or another, with what makes us attracted to other people.
But I won't bore you with "take-home" messages from either area of research (unless you ask). I am not interested (right now) what the "research" says. I am more interested in what "slightly unusual" things you find attractive in other people. That includes romantic relationships, I suppose, but it also applies to people in general.
Some of the things I find attractive include (but are not limited to): a good balance between appropriate boundaries and reasonable self-disclosure; confidence but not cockiness; kindness toward animals and children; being good at something; and a good balance between optimism and cynicism. And the biggest: being more curious, often in a child-like way, than pretending to already know the answers.
I'm sure I'll add to my list if I get comments. But I am curious: What attracts you to people?
18 people like this
20 responses
@vandana7 (99009)
• India
26 Jan 19
If only Coral was reading this, she would know we are good friends with missing attraction element. LOL. Should I be disappointed? Evil Grin. Kidding. Kindness and courteousness for sure. Self assured behavior. I don't want to baby sit an adult. Honesty. In a way, I find vulnerability also attractive possibly because I can relate to it, been there done that. Good voice and singing. (Hey you do have that quality). And sharp sense of humor. This is oh so important. Not panicking under any situation because I do. LOL Enthusiastic about some projects and plans with some skills to manage in different situations. Looks like I am looking for James Bond in real life.
2 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
26 Jan 19
Friendship or romance stake, I love the one who acts naturally
2 people like this
@Mavic123456 (21898)
• Thailand
26 Jan 19
@TheHorse oh yeah.. oh yeah... why not. i do that also. except that taking clothes off here is not allowed.... that's a different story.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (206819)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Jan 19
@Mavic123456 I do such things when nobody else is around. But among fellow humans, I like to act "normal."
2 people like this
@much2say (53944)
• Los Angeles, California
26 Jan 19
I am attracted to those who are: good listeners, self-aware, sincere, keeps their word, a do-er (not just give lip service), have basic good manners, open-minded, can share laughs, and be kind to all.
That being said, I am can be attracted to those who are: misfits, oddballs, drum to their own beat, outspoken, creative, eclectic, can think outside the box!
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
27 Jan 19
I love genuine, fun loving, simple people who enjoy nature and the simple things of life. They need to be filled with energy and be able to laugh with real enjoyment of the simple day to day things) Warmth and natural affection in people is something that attracts me.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (95914)
• Marion, Ohio
25 Jan 19
My main things are honest and kind. A big rule in this house is if the dogs, excluding Bambi, dont like you, you are not welcome.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (95914)
• Marion, Ohio
25 Jan 19
@TheHorse The dobermans basically like everyone. So if they dont like a person I am going to trust them.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206819)
• Walnut Creek, California
26 Jan 19
@wolfgirl569 I trust cats, pit bulls, horses, and parrots of all kinds. And small children. Of course, all of the above adore me, so I'm biased.
@PrincessREL (339)
•
26 Jan 19
Personality comes before looks.
When i was younger my dad said to me "looks dont matter, gender doesnt matter, race doesnt matter, where they come from doesnt matter. The only thing that matters is how they treat you."
Some of the best advice ive ever received especially in this materialistic world and society that bases everything on looks.
1 person likes this
@PrincessREL (339)
•
27 Jan 19
@TheHorse oh yeah, same here. They definitely need ambition but the way they look doesnt matter. Of course you have to be physically attracted to someone to be with them but a great personality can make someone attractive
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
25 Jan 19
People who are down to earth and non judgemental. I have 3 disabilities and often get judged and to be honest I have major trust issues. But if some is friendly and genuine I'll open up. Also cat lovers, sense of humour, had hard knocks in life, honesty.
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109857)
• Los Angeles, California
26 Jan 19
I am very rarely attracted to a person excluding the the superficial physical nature.
1 person likes this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
26 Jan 19
From the inside, well manners, education, knowledge, values, and respect for people's differences. In the outside good looks. I am sorry I cannot be attracted to what is not attractive to my eye, though I don't judge anybody based on their looks. :)
@TheHorse (206819)
• Walnut Creek, California
28 Jan 19
@jvicentevalera It is. I was just thinking about this! I went to a liberal arts college. Although my majors were originally math and physics, and later psychology and music, I took a classics class and an English class or two. The othe day, I saw a headline that made reference to a "widening gyre." I'm immeditely flashed on The Scond Coming, a BRUTAL poem by W.B. Yeats. It occurred to me that a former Ms Horse, whom I still see as a friend (she didnt go to college and doesn't believe in a liberal arts education), would not have any clue about that poem. What's more, she would not be interested in researching it with me. Her lack of intellectual curiosity is the main reason she's a FORMER Ms Horse. Here's a Link to the poem.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43290/the-second-coming
2 people like this
@jvicentevalera (13671)
• Santiago, Chile
26 Jan 19
@TheHorse Umm yeah absolutely. I love having conversation with people whose educational level match mine or overcomes it why not? What about you? is the educational level important to you?
2 people like this
