Some people they can't take decisions for themselves

@Mulidi (1290)
Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
May 15, 2019 4:32am CST
When my friend want to do something she first ask the people around her for the suggestion then she will take advice for them and sometimes she ended do bad things people she don't have self confidence One day she came to me when she want some help I ended tell her she must follow her heart because people deceryer are different even their observations are different she ended tell me I'm not helping her I was wrong or I was too harsh on her Do you have such friends ?
25 people like this
27 responses
@just4him (152573)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 May
You did right. She needs to build up confidence in herself and not rely on others to make her decisions.
5 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
But she doesn't want that she want to be babysit and she's old enough
5 people like this
@just4him (152573)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 May
@Mulidi If more people would force her to make her own decisions, she would gain the confidence she needs.
4 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
@just4him but she don't want to
3 people like this
@Aansh13 (1257)
15 May
Oh my bestie is somewhat like this... It sometimes become a baggage and it's tough to deal with her. But what to do, some people actually lack self confidence
3 people like this
@dya80dya (14358)
• Romania
15 May
They can't be blamed for this.
3 people like this
@Aansh13 (1257)
15 May
@dya80dya No, obviously not. It's just their trait, it's how they are.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
But she must learn to stand for her own issues I can't make decision for her because I have my own issues too
3 people like this
@DianneN (117550)
• United States
15 May
You were only giving her advice that she asked for. It's up to her to take it or leave it.
3 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
But she don't want to decide what she want
1 person likes this
@DianneN (117550)
• United States
17 May
@Mulidi You tried your best. She sounds difficult.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
@DianneN a burden to me
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (27644)
• United States
15 May
No, I think you did the right thing. In the end it is her life and her choice to follow or not - other people's advice
3 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
But she doesn't think so she says I'm useless friend because I'm not helping her
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (27644)
• United States
15 May
@Mulidi But you did help her. You gave your opinion. She sounds like a difficult person to be around … and like not a good friend, herself, at least with that attitude
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
@FayeHazel she's so difficult she don't want to think for herself
2 people like this
@garymarsh6 (17285)
• United Kingdom
15 May
You were right not telling her what to do. IF it had all gone pear shaped she would have blamed you! WE all have to learn to make our own choices and mistakes It is what makes us who we are. Obviously if it is something that is going to put her in danger you would be reckless not to say something. But Point out the choices she has then it is down to her to make that choice!
3 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
But she don't want to be her own
@LindaOHio (3582)
• United States
15 May
It's OK if she asks someone's opinion; but she must make the final decision.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
She don't make final decisions for herself she want me to make final decisions for her
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (3582)
• United States
15 May
@Mulidi That's not good.
1 person likes this
15 May
Thete are some people who couldn't make decision for them and of course they need help until they could stand with their two feet. If we could, we help them to make or develop themselves their self-confidence.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
She's not a child any more I can't baby sit her and her child also that's enough
2 people like this
15 May
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (24272)
• Denmark
15 May
I don't think you were too harsh, I would have said the same. We can get ideas or suggestions from other people, but we must make our own decisions. Some time ago my friend had to make an important decision, and I told her she had to find her own answer. Yes, I could tell her what I would have done in her situation, but maybe that isn't the right choice for her. She needs to find her own answer. I will listen to her and support her, but I will not and can not make the decision for her.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
16 May
She don't want to take final decision for herself she behave like she's two years old
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
15 May
sadly many such friends - all you can do is offer advice. It is their choice if they act on it or not
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
But it's embarrassed if that person she/he old enough
2 people like this
@moonandstars (15135)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
15 May
It's best people to decide for themselves cause, after, they can't blame youfor it. You did the exact same thing.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
Even its a personal issues she still want our options
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (14358)
• Romania
15 May
You were not too harsh on her. You did the right thing.
2 people like this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
She's no longer talking to me she said I'm useless friend
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (9946)
• India
16 May
Oh. No You are right. Not everyone is a well wisher even. I just listen to my heart and brain , although I take suggestions sometimes but do what seems right to me
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
But she don't take it the way you think
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (9946)
• India
17 May
@Mulidi yeah I understand that she completely relies on others. That's not good.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
@ShifaLk maybe she need serious help
1 person likes this
@jobelbojel (12158)
• Philippines
15 May
You are in telling her to follow her heart. She can ask for suggestions but the decisions are all her's.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
She can not take decisions for herself but people around her and she doesn't want to grow up
2 people like this
@jobelbojel (12158)
• Philippines
15 May
@Mulidi then there is a problem.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
15 May
@jobelbojel I will figure it out mybe she need seriously help
@Corbin5 (141756)
• United States
16 May
I think you were just trying to help your friend by giving her advice that would benefit her.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
16 May
But she don't want to take final decision for herself even though we help her
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (141756)
• United States
16 May
@Mulidi If you stop helping her, then she will have to make her own decisions.
@Hate2Iron (12716)
• Canada
18 May
All through my childhood/teen years, my parents made all of our decisions for us and for the longest time, it was incredibly hard for me to make a decision of any sort at all in case I choose wrong. When I got married... I let my husband make all the decisions. It's been only the last few years when I decided that I had to learn how. I might make mistakes, but that is how you learn. No, you probably did her a favor!!!
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
18 May
She behave like two years old sometimes.she keep on yelling on me
@jstory07 (78414)
• Roseburg, Oregon
17 May
She need to think for herself and believe in herself. You did the right thing.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
But she's no longer talking to me. She said I'm useless friend
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
16 May
Yes I have friends that will not stop asking me what to do.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
Yoh those people they don't want to be their own even with little issue they need advice
@psanasangma (1032)
• India
16 May
You need to leave their own so that the blame will not on to you
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
16 May
I tried everything to distance myself to her but she keep coming back to me I don't know why she behave like this or mybe I'm to soft to her
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (159236)
• Bunbury, Australia
16 May
It is hopeless going through life depending on others. You really have to depend on yourself.
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
Exactly I must listen my heart
1 person likes this
@debjani1 (5891)
16 May
Sometimes I also can't take proper decision and depends on others. But we forget that they can suggest us the opinion only. Because different people have different decision. So we should know to take the decision of ours .
1 person likes this
@Mulidi (1290)
• Cruz Bay, Virgin Islands (U.S.)
17 May
Attest at the end you take your own final decision but my friend she behave like two years old child she want me to do everything to her