The "teacher from Hell" is driving me nuts. Have you ever been in a situation where an incompetent colleague frustrated you?
By The Horse
@TheHorse (238355)
Walnut Creek, California
June 21, 2019 3:24pm CST
I work part-time at a friend's preschool. I am a "behavioral specialist," but I'm really just a glorified preschool teacher when I work there.
The kids love me, and I get compliance from the kids by making things like "clean up" and washing your hands fun. I also never yell at kids. If they're pouting, I simply say, "You look sad. What made you sad?" The kids respond, and if heard, get back into the flow.
The teacher from Hell is a monster. She always seems anxious, doesn't bond with the kids, and yells at them if they don't do exactly what she demands. Her teacher-directed activities are developmentally inappropriate (she acts like she thinks they are 7-years-old), and boring for the kids.
One of my "projects," a 4-year-old boy who was in foster care, been abused, and tended to "act out" or "melt down" when he didn't get his way, has regressed horribly since she came on board.
I had made great progress with him, becoming a father figure to him, listening to his stories, and teaching him stuff through playing with him, even if he didn't realize he was "learning." His impulse control had improved, his hitting had declined, and his relationships with other kids had improved.
To use a preschool analogy, I feel like I just built a tall stacky tower out of Legos, and some bully just came over and knocked it down.
I did (finally) speak to the Director about this teacher's behavior, but I feel like it fell on deaf ears. Have you ever been in a position where an incompetent (and even mean) coworker frustrated you?
20 people like this
18 responses
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Jun 19
You need proof. Next time you know she is about to blow he stack, record her with your phone, then present the verbal abuse to that director.
Or call the police, abuse is abuse.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
22 Jun 19
@TheHorse Ohhh, that is to bad, I am sure John would welcome you with open arms. 
I didnt know that.
Okay have the director of said school to spy, do one of those watch and see for yourself.
I didnt know that.
Okay have the director of said school to spy, do one of those watch and see for yourself.2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
22 Jun 19
this jest breaks my heart. that lil fella 'tis 'lready been through 'nough. perhaps ya could tape this teacher'n take such to the board? there'd be no 'xcuse fer 'er actions, she's obviously not qualified to work with young'uns 'f this age, nor any age'n my thoughts from what'cher sayin'.
's fer yer query? yes sir. 'd quite a few 'n called the office the 'snake pit'.
2 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39503)
• United States
22 Jun 19
@TheHorse hold the phone! they ought not be speakin' a language 'mongst 'emselves 't the workplace. such's most rude. i'd continue to pursue this gal's removal'n possibly the head teacher's well. seems neither 've what 't takes to grow young'uns. i hear ya'n the spanish though 's i worked with many who did the same 'til they got called'n the carpet. 'twas rude'n front 'f patients 'n their families's they suspected ('n most likely such 'twas true) they'd be speakin' 'f them.
how do all those whistle blowers get by with such'n yer state? then 'gain, she seems to arrogant she'd prolly sign a waiver 'n continue 'er ill habits. this time caught'n tape with no chance 'f heresy nor lack 'f proof.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
@crazyhorseladycx It's not the first time I've seen this happen. It was weird being back in Iowa, where many (if not most) people spoke English as a first language. Am I racist if I admit that I enjoyed it? But I've just come to accept what these woman (at work) do. I may be the only worker there whose first language is English.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
If I videotaped her without her permission, I'd wind up in prison. It's illegal in California. But I sure would like to let "the world" know what she's doing. The head teacher in that room is a good friend of hers, and that's how she got hired. They both speak Spanish (I don't, except for a few words), so I can't know what they're saying as I'm trying to manage the kids.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (209132)
• United States
22 Jun 19
Yes, I have..and it is terribly frustrating. Not that I am so awesome, but it is very frustrating when someone undo's your good work, out of lack of suitability, overwork or just not caring. Maybe you could have a non judgmental sitdown with the teacher and explain your approach and find out where she is coming from. Maybe you can get her to "hear you." Afterall, it sounds like you have some authority there anyway.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (209132)
• United States
22 Jun 19
@TheHorse You won't know unless you try. Her language barrier might be part of the problem with the kids as well. Well you said you are techinically a behavioral person there..so that is "your job" Maybe get an intrepreter if need be..good luck!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
I would like to do that, but I'm not sure she is open to hearing about my strategies. There is also a language barrier. She speaks mostly Spanish and doesn't understand English very well. My Spanish is limited to a few words.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
@snowy22315 Thanks. I'll do my best. Oh, most of the kids there speak both Spanish and English.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
@JudyEv Not sure if I've mentioned it, but a woman I know from another preschool subs there. She refuses to work in that classroom. She's from North Africa and speaks English and French. She pointed out that it's unfair to us English speakers (I can understand some Spanish but am nowhere near "conversational" in that language) that the two disciplinarian teachers speak to each other in Spanish, making it harder for all of us to collaborate.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203396)
• Nashville, Tennessee
21 Jun 19
Oh that is too bad for the child. And your analogy sound like it fits this teacher. She is a bully. So glad we have teachers/psychologists like yourself to help these children in need. Maybe the talk with the Director will eventually do some good.
I have been in a similar position before and sadly nothing happened. A fellow co-worker/manager was not doing their job. But who was I, and what did I know? Nothing apparently. Even though I worked beside this person every day. Oh well, we consider the negatives, and push through. Keep going for the children. They need you.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
21 Jun 19
I will do my best. Today, I worked with the Pampers set, and it was a love-fest. We played "rolly catch" (yes, 22-month-olds can play catch), filled buckets in the sand and made "coffee" and "ice cream," acted out "Two Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed," and sang various other songs that were familiar to the kids. There were squeals of joy all around, and the kids didn't know they were learning language, music, cooperation, sharing, and even math.
3 people like this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
23 Jun 19
every.frickin.day.EVERY day.
and my boss keeps hiring MORE idiots.
1 person likes this
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
24 Jun 19
@TheHorse yea,but since they're competent i think they're staying far far away..
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
21 Jun 19
If only the director there would listen . . . surely your other colleagues must feel the same - have they spoken up? When I worked for this one family, the elderly parents who liked me were the owners (by name), their son was my boss with whom I became very good friends with, their daughter (son's sister) was the sort of accountant. She and I were friends initially but then as she crossed some lines, we became quick enemies - she got nasty. I talked to the boss about things, but he told me there was nothing he could do about his sister - that she was part of the business/family - but he didn't want to lose me being there. Well, being in my early 20s I made a decision right then and there to quit - if my own boss couldn't help me then no one could. But back then I could do that 
.
.1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502729)
• Italy
22 Jun 19
My question is: why the Director did not listen to you? If this teacher is a monster as you describes, I suppose the Director should be interested to evaluate your opinion and try to see if there is nothing wrong. May be she reported you as you reported her. You are so different and distant that she surely dislikes your way to teach to the kids as much as you hate her behavior. I am just making suppositions, as someone who is watching from the outside. Usually everyone is sure that the method they use is the only good.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502729)
• Italy
22 Jun 19
@TheHorse She surely thinks that the only way to teach discipline to kids is in a sort of "military way". If the Director is like her, he surely thinks that she is right and you are wrong. Another person would prefer something in between the two of you. Not an easy matter to solve.
@wolfgirl569 (135966)
• Marion, Ohio
22 Jun 19
I hope they will do something about her soon. She is not good for an emotionally healthy child doing things like that. Even worse for the ones that have already been through hell.
1 person likes this
@wolfgirl569 (135966)
• Marion, Ohio
22 Jun 19
@TheHorse You have tried. That is all you cab do. Hopefully they listen.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
@wolfgirl569 We will see what happens. Right now I have the most fun with the "littlies."
1 person likes this
the other teachers should know how she is with the kids. poor kids
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
21 Jun 19
I know this is so frustrating for you. Those little ones need you and that so-called teacher is harming them just as surely as if she beat them. She IS beating them emotionally and mentally. I hope the director will do something. Do the parents have any idea what's going on? I hope it's not a government funded preschool because it will be even harder to get something done. (Worked at a local health dept for 27 years and I know how impossible it is to get any employee to be accountable for their actions.)
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54399)
• United States
22 Jun 19
That is a tough situation. The reality of schools and the politics of the process is why I left teaching many years ago. I would say the best advice is to approach that person and see if you can find common ground. There is no easy tix to things like this.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
Did you enjoy the actual process of teaching? I sure do. My music friend's wife teaches 3rd grade. When at my friend's house I don't see the joy in her eyes that should come from working with kids, hearing their stories, and helping them learn. I see the weariness that comes from dealing with politics. I don't want to wind up like her.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
23 Jun 19
@DocAndersen One of the little girls I work with now (she's 2-years-old) calls me "daddy," not "Mr. Horse." It warms my heart, but it also reminds me of how many of our kids grow up without fathers.
1 person likes this
@DocAndersen (54399)
• United States
23 Jun 19
@TheHorse I loved being a teacher. I hated the politics, the lack of funding and being called dad not Mr. A.. 22 kids my first year, 21 hadn't seen their fathers in more than 4 years. That was 1/2 their lives.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (238355)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Jun 19
The teacher from Hell does not seem to be having fun when she works with kids. She looks angry. There's actually research out there that shows that "showing joy" around playing with kids leads to better parent-child attachment. I'm sure that's true in the classroom as well. The kids "love" (and learn a lot from) me and another part-timer who shares my joy in working with kids. I wish I could work with her all the time.
@DWDavis (25797)
• United States
22 Jun 19
During my 15 years in public education, I worked with a few teachers who were ROAD (Retired, On Active Duty) just putting in their time until the qualified for a full pension. They could not have cared less about the kids, barely taught, handout out copious numbers of worksheets to keep the kids busy, and yelled all the time. Fortunately, such teachers were few. Most I knew were dedicated to doing their best for their students to the point their own exhaustion - physically, emotionally, and financially.
1 person likes this
