The Next Leg of the Journey

By Val

@valmnz (17099)

New Zealand

July 12, 2019 1:24am CST

The winter here in New Zealand this year is cold and wet, a dismal sort of existence. There's been no chance to weed the garden and days of sunshine have been rare. I too feel sad and dismal as I watch my husband come closer to the end of his life journey. It's not easy watching the one you love die slowly. The damp weather matches my heart.

34 people like this

35 responses

crazyhorseladycx

@crazyhorseladycx (39515)

• United States

12 Jul 19

oh, this jest breaks my heart to read'n now i feel most foolish'n somewhat 'f a cad fer my comment'n yer response to my discussion. please fergive me, hon. i wish i'd words to ease yer pain, to bring ya comfort. i fear i'd be 't a loss fer such. jest know i'll hold y'all close't heart whilst ya go through this most horrible time. i wish the sun to shine fer ya, 'nside 'n out.

10 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

You are such a wonderful friend, thank you. It's wonderful having people like you around.

5 people like this

crazyhorseladycx

@crazyhorseladycx (39515)

• United States

12 Jul 19

@valmnz yer welcome, hon. 'lways here if'n ya need. sometimes a diversion 'f such goes a long ways ~

5 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

@crazyhorseladycx

2 people like this

@LadyDuck (458179)

• Switzerland

12 Jul 19

I am so sorry Val, I hoped your husband was recovering, I can imagine your sentiments and your pain. You and your husband reminds me so much our couple. I send you a big hug.

7 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thanks Anna, this is a time you don't think about when you are young.

6 people like this

@LadyDuck (458179)

• Switzerland

13 Jul 19

@valmnz You are right, this is something you start to think as you age, when the first health problems show up.

5 people like this

@ramapo17 (30441)

• Melbourne, Florida

11 Aug 20

@LadyDuck You are right. When we are younger we don't think that anything can happen to us, but that surely changes as we age.

1 person likes this

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@xFiacre (12597)

• Ireland

14 Jul 19

@valmnz Wish there was something I could do to brighten your day and make things alright. Hoping you've some real life friends who can give practical support.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

14 Jul 19

Thqnks Fiacre, yes I do have some wonderful friends and family here. And I've known some of you so long here online I include you in my support system too. Keep writing things to make me smile

1 person likes this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

16 Jul 19

@xFiacre (12597)

• Ireland

14 Jul 19

@valmnz Oh that’s a lot of pressure!

1 person likes this

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Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (306236)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

12 Jul 19

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I thought he was doing better.

I've noticed how the weather matches our feelings.

5 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

it's like the tears are matching mine. I think I knew all along this was where we were heading but I tried to stay brave. I didn't realise it would be this bad.

4 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

@just4him thanks Valerie. I'm appreciating the support of people here and its good to have a place to come to as a diversion from reality. Yes, we have had 48 wonderful years.It's hard watching this happen. Thank you for being there.

3 people like this

Valerie J. Routhieaux

@just4him (306236)

• Green Bay, Wisconsin

12 Jul 19

@valmnz You had a good life together. It will be hard. My prayers are with you.

4 people like this

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@JudyEv (325809)

• Rockingham, Australia

12 Jul 19

I'm so sorry you're going through this. There is nothing anyone can say that can make you feel better And of course, such dismal weather wouldn't be helping. Sending hugs.

7 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thanks Judy. As well as my real life friends I knew that my friends here would be supportive. I think I need a diversion from reality.

5 people like this

@HazySue (39264)

• Gouverneur, New York

12 Jul 19

I was hoping that things would get better for him. I am so sorry. It is hard to watch someone you love come to the end of his life. I pray you have the strength to endure.

5 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thank you for that. I'm trying to keep busy.

3 people like this

@smileyhema (4606)

• United States

13 Jul 19

Sorry about that. It surely pains and no words can explain what you've in your heart and mind now. But, please please please - don't give up. Each and every moment is so valuable now. Please enjoy with your husband and be bold.. God will bless you both for more of your togetherness. My sincere prayers and regards to your husband. Hugs to you dear.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, we are treasuring the good moments.

1 person likes this

@smileyhema (4606)

• United States

14 Jul 19

@valmnz That's cool and stay positive .. take care ...

1 person likes this

Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (36442)

• Toccoa, Georgia

13 Jul 19

I really am sorry about your husband.

3 people like this

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Anne Marie Guyer

@LeaPea2417 (36442)

• Toccoa, Georgia

13 Jul 19

1 person likes this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thank you for dropping by. We are making the best that we can of the moments.

1 person likes this

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@DWDavis (25812)

• Pikeville, North Carolina

13 Jul 19

My heart goes out to you and I am keeping you both in my prayers.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thanks. I hope your writing is going well?

2 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

14 Jul 19

@DWDavis that's good to hear.

1 person likes this

@DWDavis (25812)

• Pikeville, North Carolina

14 Jul 19

@valmnz I'm still writing. Been working on a new book during summer break and I think it could be one of my best yet.

1 person likes this

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@CookieMonster46 (13447)

• United States

13 Jul 19

I am very sorry, they say it makes it easier if you know someone is slowly passing, but no it does not. I don't think you can ever be prepared, and will still grieve. Very sorry

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thank you. We take each moment as it comes.

1 person likes this

@CookieMonster46 (13447)

• United States

13 Jul 19

@valmnz that is the best way, one day at a time.

1 person likes this

@MarshaMusselman (38657)

• Midland, Michigan

13 Jul 19

Sorry to hear that your husband's journey on Earth is nearing it's end. I've not been around a lot this year and didn't know. We had an awful winter too although we kept getting hit with ice everywhere. So many people got hurt that not everyone could see a provider right away. If you needed cheering up from your weather and maybe to help your husband's frame of mind too if he's aware is to listen to perky music. In fact I should put some on here and maybe I'd get more done.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Hi Marsha, thanks for dropping by. I haven't been here much either. This is a good place to be right now though.

2 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

@MarshaMusselman in a small hospital level care facility. He needs 24 hour care.

@MarshaMusselman (38657)

• Midland, Michigan

13 Jul 19

@valmnz is your husband at home with you or in some type of care facility.

2 people like this

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@DianneN (246838)

• United States

12 Jul 19

My heart breaks for you. It must not be easy, and I'm so sorry.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thanks Dianne, we have lots of wonderful support, but life has definitely changed.

3 people like this

@DianneN (246838)

• United States

13 Jul 19

@valmnz I’m certain it has.

2 people like this

@sunrisefan (28524)

• Philippines

13 Jul 19

I am out of words Ms. Val but I wish you and your husband well.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thank you Sunrise. We are all finding ways to cope and life is a bit more settled today. I'm treasuring the good days.

2 people like this

@sunrisefan (28524)

• Philippines

14 Jul 19

@valmnz That's a positive attitude Ms. Val

1 person likes this

@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

12 Jul 19

I am so sorry. Enjoy the time you have with your husband. I know you are doing that. Thinking of you Val.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thanks Carol. These are difficult times.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

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@CarolDM (203452)

• Nashville, Tennessee

12 Jul 19

@valmnz I know and my heart is so heavy for you my friend.

3 people like this

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@eileenleyva (27562)

• Philippines

12 Jul 19

What actually makes you feel sad is the deathbed situation your beloved husband is in. Glad you were able to write here on mylot. For a moment, you were able to deviate your thoughts from the gloom, even if what you have written here is exactly that. Expressing your feelings is actually a healthy way of combating sadness. Will pray for you., Be strong,

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thank you for your kind thoughts

2 people like this

@much2say (53958)

• Los Angeles, California

12 Jul 19

I am saddened to hear this. You and your husband are in my thoughts, Val.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thank you. I'm finding being here so relaxing in between everything.

2 people like this

@wolfgirl569 (95188)

• Marion, Ohio

12 Jul 19

So sorry.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thank you. It's not the best time of my life but we'll get there

2 people like this

@Marilynda1225 (79731)

• United States

12 Jul 19

I'm so sorry Val. My heart and prayers are with you

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thanks Marilyn.

2 people like this

@akalinus (40440)

• United States

13 Jul 19

This breaks my heart to read. Blessings to you and him. Winter makes us sad and desolate. Things will feel better when the warm days come. Wishing you the best to be blest.

2 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

Thanks for your kind thoughts Jo Ann

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

13 Jul 19

@akalinus yes, thanks. We spent some special time together watching our favourite TV quiz show yesterday.

1 person likes this

@akalinus (40440)

• United States

13 Jul 19

@valmnz Just remember to treasure your moments with your husband and the life you have today. Nurture all the warm thoughts that you have.

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@acelawrites (19273)

• Philippines

12 Jul 19

It's really so sad; I hope you'll be fine soon.

3 people like this

@valmnz (17099)

• New Zealand

12 Jul 19

Thank you. Life seems unreal right now but we'll get there

1 person likes this