My daughter told me the best news today

@shaggin (47663)
United States
October 8, 2019 9:35pm CST
This morning my niece was two hours later then usual so while I waited for her to arrive to be babysat I did a re-nourishment mask on my hair. I then finished watching “Regression” while doing my makeup. At 10:30 I took her to story hour at the library. The theme of the day was dinosaurs. I had such a nice time watching all the little kids doing the songs and things with the librarian. After she left I watched “You’re not you” then made a new recipe called Cream cheese lemonade pie. I saved the best news for last. After dinner my daughter came out and handed me some stuff to throw away and told me she just realized today she isn’t transgender. After two years of worrying how her life will go all the troubles she may face I don’t face to worry about that anymore. I was so hopeful it was a phase and turns out it was. She said she realized she just hates her body it doesn’t mean she’s transgender. I said maybe you just like the guys style too with clothes etc. She shaved her arm pits tonight. She doesn’t feel like shaving her legs or anything and I said she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to. The photo is of an artificial tree I bought on Amazon that arrived today. I expected it to be really neat but it kind of looks like a Charlie Brown tree. I got the idea of a Halloween decorated tree from @ScribbledAdNauseum
36 people like this
36 responses
@JudyEv (174272)
• Bunbury, Australia
9 Oct
You are SUCH a good mum. It worries me with other teenagers who are a bit ambivalent about their sexuality, that they are forced into decisions before they've had time to really think things through. You gave her space and supported her, allowing her to find her own way through this. Kudos to you.
4 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@JudyEv thank you so very much for your kind words! It means so much! My daughters best friend thinks she is a lesbian. Her father is very anti homosexuality so she can't tell him how she feels. I find that so sad she can't be comfortable in her own home. She asked her father if she could go to the LGBTQ meet up with my daughter and he said he didn't want them influencing her. I let my daughter go and be herself and she discovered she isn't trans so that to me is awesome.
4 people like this
@JudyEv (174272)
• Bunbury, Australia
10 Oct
@shaggin And if the other family were as open and understanding the girl would eventually work out what her leaning was one way or the other.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@JudyEv that's what I think as well. What bugs me is her mother and older sister are bisexual. So shouldn't the father be more open and understanding about homosexuality etc?
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (246212)
• Switzerland
9 Oct
I am really glad for you and also for your daughter. She will surely feel more comfortable with her body now that she knows her problem. Your Halloween tree is cute.
4 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@LadyDuck sad it took her two years of confusion to figure out she isn't trans. I hope she eventually learns to be okay with her body. I don't like mine either but I've accepted it you know. Glad you think the tree is cute. I need to add things to spice it up a little as it wasn't what I was expecting.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (246212)
• Switzerland
9 Oct
@shaggin Add some paper pumpkins to add a bit of color to the tree. She will learn to accept her body, I am sure.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (76407)
• United States
9 Oct
That would be good news. Growing up is hard enough without the added stress of being a bit different. I worry that a lot of those kids are in for bullying and ridicule.
3 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@snowy22315 yes exactly and even worse hate crimes etc.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (76407)
• United States
9 Oct
@shaggin Yeah, that too!
3 people like this
@andriaperry (93741)
• Anniston, Alabama
9 Oct
That is good news and you are one of the best mothers I know! Yes, I would add a few decorations.
3 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@andriaperry thank you so much that makes my heart so happy I will have to see what craft supplies I have. What things would you add? Shiny round orange or silver balls would look great I think but I don't have any of those and Christmas is a bit far off to find ornaments.
1 person likes this
@arunima25 (26495)
• Bangalore, India
9 Oct
I really salute you. You did an incredible job as a parent. Being a parent of teenagers myself, I know how tough it gets at times to deal with them. It is tough phase when they go through a lot. And the best thing that we can do as parent is to give them time and space. And you did it.
2 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@arunima25 thank you very much! I think most important is to let them feel how they feel and to be there for them and supportive.
2 people like this
@arunima25 (26495)
• Bangalore, India
11 Oct
@shaggin I agree with you. They are individuals and have their own minds. We need to give them respect and space of their own.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (33451)
• Moses Lake, Washington
9 Oct
Your daughter is talking with a professional about her issues? I wonder why she doesn't like her body?
2 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@sallypup yes she sees a counselor once a week. I hated my body to when I was a teen but I didn't think I was transgender. She definitely has some confusion there!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Oct
Charlie Brown trees usually ended up being more loved when you think about it.
2 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@teresatrotter what a cute point! Haven’t seen you around in forever I always love seeing your name pop up.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (31361)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
9 Oct
I like that Charlie Brown looking tree and am so glad for you about your daughter I am sure with time she will figure it all out
2 people like this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@RasmaSandra Im glad you like it. She was mad when I refused to let her start taking male hormones. Hopefully one day she will thank me now that she has changed her mind.
2 people like this
• United States
9 Oct
I just now see that you tagged me in this discussion. I've been having trouble with not getting all of my notifications here lately.. I saw a tree very similar to this at the dollar tree today. It's a bit taller and the base at the DT is plastic. I almost bought it but decided not to, atleast not yet. I might go by. Oh, I asked my aunt but she said she doesn't think my cousin is decorating the Halloween tree this year. My cousins' been having health problems so I don't blame her. I think that it's great when people realize that they are transgender but I also think that all this publicity is confusing kids. We all have gone through a tomboy stage and I think that's kind of what your daughter is going through right now. I'm glad she realized that she wasn't transgender. She'll one day learn that us women don't always shave our legs either. When I'm single, I might not shave my legs until summer!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum If I didn’t have my kids around I don’t know if I’d bother to decorate for holidays. The tree was $10. It looks like something cheap I could buy at the dollar tree. I gave it a review that it didn’t look nearly as nice as in the photo. I was sad a few years ago when she told me she was transgender. I just thought in my head how much she would struggle in life with bullying and finding a boyfriend etc. She never knew how I cried about it or how much I worried. But is a huge relief to hear she isn’t transgender after all. I only bother to shave when it’s cold when I know my boyfriend will be around. I absolutely hate hair though if I could afford to laser off all the hair on my body except my head and eyebrows I would. Shaving makes me itch so bad.
• United States
10 Oct
@shaggin Yeah, that low of quality coming from amazon looks bad on them. I would probably ask for a refund if I were you, that is you wanted to go through the hassle of it. I'm just glad that she figured it all out before she came to regret her choices. I can't use nair or other hair removal products without it burning my skin and / or making me bleed. I mean, I have used it before but it usually ends up burning my skin and isn't worth it. I would like to try sugar waxing but I am not so sure that it is as effective.When I was dating my last boyfriend I would shave every day because it was just easier to manage. Now I might shave once a week but since winter is coming, I probably won't shave at all.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@ScribbledAdNauseum I have used nair but my hair is really coarse so it never really worked. That's awful it was so bad on your skin! Definitely not worth using if it burns your skin and makes it bleed. I have waxed too but my hair grows so fast it is to painful to have to do it so often. After shaving my legs are already prickly the next day.
• Philippines
9 Oct
We haven't made preparations for this in coming Christmas season.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@Letranknight2015 I know @JustBhem and @infatuatedbby are already thinking about Christmas . My tree is black with little skills on it for Halloween. It will be put away on November first. Then December 1st my real Christmas tree will be put up.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (24642)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
9 Oct
@shaggin Using your time machine?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@BarBaraPrz no the black Halloween tree is a different one then the Christmas tree I have.
• Waialua, Hawaii
12 Oct
I think a lot of people are confused concerning things like transgender. The media makes it all look so cool and something to be a part of in order to be cool and fit in. When i was young, girls could have short hair and wear boyish clothes and they were simply called Tom boys (or perhaps they were into athletics and found it easier for them) There was no talk of being transgender or lesbian etc and it was accepted as normal. I am not putting down people who truly call themselves lesbian or transgender but I feel like many of them are more confused than not and are therefor not actually being true to who they are.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
12 Oct
@WriterRuth it was more taboo back then though where as now people feel more able to be themselves and not having to hide it. Teens have crazy hormones and developing brains not fully matured yet so I understand they get confused about their sexuality. I thought it was very surprising how confused she got though with just hating her body. I hated mine to but never thought I was a man. Baffling.
1 person likes this
• Waialua, Hawaii
15 Oct
@shaggin I just believe that media has a LOT to do with it putting the thoughts in their heads and them choosing to dwell on those thoughts. That feeds the idea and strengthens it. I remember thinking I'd like to be a boy and also thinking which girl I would like if I was a boy but it did nto last long and I have always been straight. I think if I had media influence in that stuff, it could have planted suggestions in my mind that I may have given into at that time as a teen
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
16 Oct
@WriterRuth maybe for some people yes.
• United States
9 Oct
I know a few that prefer dressing more like boys. They said the clothes were more comfortable. Some just aren't into dresses and frills. Some would try to label them as "different." However, it is up to them to figure it out for themselves.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@ElusiveButterfly for a year or two I thought she just liked men's clothes then she shocked me by telling me she was transgender. I'm not sure if now she will continue dressing like a man or if she will gravitate back to womens clothes. Whatever makes her feel comfortable.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Oct
@shaggin we love them no less. They are our children and we will support them. As long as it isn't illegal or will cause them or another harm.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
12 Oct
@ElusiveButterfly absolutely!
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (39264)
• Philippines
9 Oct
you're such a great mom. you have a great relationship with your kids. i did notice the faces on the decors immediately. maybe you can buy small plastic pumpkins, spiders, ghosts to add to it.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@hereandthere thank you so much for your kindness. The skulls on the branches were what made me choose this over the others. Some Halloween themed ribbon might look nice although I won't be able to get out and buy it until after the 17th when my foot is fully healed from the surgery. I do have two little spider rings I will put those on later thanks for that great idea!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Oct
@shaggin oh, that's right. i forgot all about your foot. i'm glad you have some spiders. i guess black and orange will be the colors of the ribbons?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@hereandthere I was thinking some ribbons with skills on them or some other Halloween design.
1 person likes this
@rakski (38190)
• Philippines
9 Oct
that is a very good news indeed.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
9 Oct
@rakski yes it made me so relieved.
1 person likes this
@rakski (38190)
• Philippines
9 Oct
@shaggin yes, I remember your past discussion about it and you worry for her. I am glad to hear that it is just a phase in her life
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@rakski you have a good memory. Thank you for being so caring!
1 person likes this
@oahuwriter (9727)
• United States
15 Oct
Gosh, what a relief! Wow, its so not easy raising children. At least she has you to discuss things with. In commercials, children are so much more engaging, or knowledgeable than I was when at that age. When I was 5 I didn't know much and loved to be with parents and grandparents. In commercials they seem so grown up, today.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
16 Oct
@oahuwriter kids now do seem different. I think kids are allowed to do more grown up things earlier and earlier. 10 year old in mini skirt and make up etc. My daughter is 15 and just asked me to buy her eyeliner yesterday.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Oct
@shaggin They said we grow up fast, but today they seem much more grown up than us.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (82504)
• Roseburg, Oregon
12 Oct
That is good news that your daughter gave you.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
12 Oct
@jstory07 yes it is I am quite relieved.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (82504)
• Roseburg, Oregon
12 Oct
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Oct
I'm glad you let her go along with who she thought she was, and for her to come out and find who she really is. All in all, great news she considers herself as female. I hope she gets across her body image & to love herself as each one of us is different & unique in our own way =) Love the Xmas tree!
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
11 Oct
@infatuatedbby I have never loved my body and I never will but I have accepted there is nothing I can do about it. I hope if she never loves her body she can at least accept it. I am so relieved she discovered she is no longer transgender. It's one less challenge to get through in life.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Oct
@shaggin I hope she accepts her body for how it is also. :) Yes, one less challenge to deal with.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (29993)
• United States
10 Oct
I am glad that your daughter realizes she is a girl. As for the tree, you can love it up a bit with tiny ornaments and baubles. It will be wonderful.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@akalinus I plan to see what I can find at Walmart next time I get there. Unfortunately it won't be until the 17th or later.
1 person likes this
@akalinus (29993)
• United States
10 Oct
@shaggin All we can do is the best we can.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (16976)
• India
10 Oct
The Tree looks quite fabulous! At times, we have to take tough decisions in parenting and guide our kids with love but firmly as well.
1 person likes this
@ptrikha_2 (16976)
• India
11 Oct
@shaggin yes it is not good to force one's views, especially when the kids are grown up!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (90630)
• Canada
9 Oct
It is great that you have such a close relationship with your daughter. She knows she can talk to you and that you very supportive. It is tough being a teenager today. You are an awesome mom. The tree is cute. I like it.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (47663)
• United States
10 Oct
@Happy2BeMe I am glad she feels comfortable telling me things and knows I will be supportive. I feel bad her best friend isn't able to do that at home. I think it's always been hard being a teenager. Hormones are going crazy and our brains aren't fully matured yet. It's just teens have different challenges and struggles to get through during each generation. Thanks so much for your kindness!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (90630)
• Canada
13 Oct
@shaggin You are welcom3.
1 person likes this